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Do you see her? The mature woman you think is attractive, has her life together, is accomplished, and comes with the added bonus of purchase: she’s submissive. Jackpot, right? Well, yeah. But let’s unpack that a little. Look at her. She is, perhaps, married, or was. She may have and no help at home, or survived the -rearing and is now looking to new stages in her life. She may have an ex whose sole purpose in life is to score points off her, she may have an aging family to care for. Daily, she keeps several plates spinning at the top of tall reeds, and you better believe keeping those things spinning isn’t really an act of choice for her. If she lets them fall, they shatter spectacularly, people look and gawk and judge her harshly for her failures. Look at her. She is in control at all times, because there are no choices. No alternatives for her, not until those delicious few hours when someone places a collar around her neck and leads her to a sanctuary. Until someone ensures that it’s okay to leave the reeds, the plates will spin on, awaiting her return. She revels in the mindlessness of no expectation other than acquiescence, the quietude of simply existing. That is her respite, her renewal. And if, during renewal, she might feel pleasure, so much the better. So much sweeter those achievements, those moments, those peaks. She knows to value each one. Look at her. She is, perhaps, a professional of some sort. She might manage people, or create things. Could be she is a force to be reckoned with, meeting deadlines and keeping the ship in its lane. Without question, she has been fighting her entire life for the same recognition you take for granted. She manages her life quite handily, and largely prefers it that way, saves for the moments that she would like to put all of it down, to step away. She revels in not being the steward of lives and lifestyles if only for a short time, entrusted only to the one person she can surrender herself and her stewardship. She looked long and hard for that person, and if that one is you, take note. Look at her. Careful, careful thought has gone into the placing down of those burdens. She has weighed the imperatives that others place upon her against her instinct to succumb to the siren call of tranquility. She has calculated, and considered, and decided. There is a deliberateness to the action of transferring power. The reward meets the risk, and she is equal to the task. You are her partner in the exchange, and she has faith in your strength and trusteeship. Look at her. She has bent for you. Knelt, bent, allowed herself to be arranged, raised pink and tender places for your inspection and attention and your tools and implements. She has chosen the fluid exchange of energy, gathering strength from her suffering for you, taking your darkness into her, committing her flesh to the healing of both cell and spirit. She allows she chooses, she commits. Her will unleashes your own and in turn, your will keeps hers secure. Look at her. Struggle with the deviation from societal norms has left her vulnerable. She has sought out a place to give away, if only for a short while, her body, her conscious mind, perhaps even a portion of her soul. With the shedding of her clothing, that nakedness runs deeper than the flesh. When she is wrapped in blankets and forehead kisses or later slipping into street clothing, she is quietly donning the protective garments of her every day. Look at her. Isn’t she fine? ~wheredoibegintofindhim  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this and contemplating this. It let me part the curtain and look behind into another perspective. I found this really powerful and could identify the life stages of females in the circle of my life ie: the ones without help at home, the ones caring for aging parents, the ones in charge of large organizations. The analogy of plates spinning on top of reeds was wonderfully descriptive. This is almost an impossibility, the reed is slender and flexible. To spin a plate would take all of ones conscious effort leaving the important things unattended. A woman is often called to do it all, including the impossible. When she finally slips and the plate falls, no one sees anything other than the shattered pieces, not the heavy burden carried selflessly. Powerful.
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Love this. I live this.
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Oh, yes...….those older women are special indeed
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this drives me wild
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Great piece. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Good writing and perspective. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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