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TOPPING Vs A REQUEST A simple rule of thumb ….. Asking within the Dynamic means you are ready, willing, and able to hear “NO!” Topping means you aren’t asking. You aren’t willing to hear “NO!” Topping is you doing or saying something designed to get what you want, to manipulate/control the relationship, the D-type, or the outcome of an encounter. If you are snatching back control/power over something you’ve given to your Dominant, you’re topping from the bottom. It’s a bad thing because it undermines and is corrosive to the Power Exchange. It’s often immoral because the bottom does not have the consent of the Dominant. Nothing good comes from topping from the bottom. ~Submissive-Seeking  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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Well said
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are you really suggesting that every dom/me relationship should follow someone else's unwritten rules? No, I would NEVER do that. I, do, however, feel that I sometimes find myself in that situation in MY relationship.  which is fine, obviously, goes without saying. Not that it is for me to tell you what is or isn't fine for you!Contact me privately via the PM at the head of my blog page
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are you really suggesting that every dom/me relationship should follow someone else's unwritten rules? No, I would NEVER do that. I, do, however, feel that I sometimes find myself in that situation in MY relationship. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Wow. Don't you think there is a big difference between saying "In our relationship there will be no topping from the bottom" and saying "There should never be topping from the bottom in a d/s relationship?" Surely it is always for two people to freely make the rules of their own partnership, and if appropriate to change them consensually to suit as time goes on? And/or for the dom/me to decide whether in any particular case or in general "topping from the bottom" is OK? or are you really suggesting that every dom/me relationship should follow someone else's unwritten rules? No, I would NEVER do that. I, do, however, feel that I sometimes find myself in that situation in MY relationship. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Wow. Don't you think there is a big difference between saying "In our relationship there will be no topping from the bottom" and saying "There should never be topping from the bottom in a d/s relationship?" Surely it is always for two people to freely make the rules of their own partnership, and if appropriate to change them consensually to suit as time goes on? And/or for the dom/me to decide whether in any particular case or in general "topping from the bottom" is OK? or are you really suggesting that every dom/me relationship should follow someone else's unwritten rules? Contact me privately via the PM at the head of my blog page
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I have no issue with a submissive asking for anything. But they need to know, it is stil my choice to do it when and if I please. It may be today, tomorrow, a month from now possibly never. But, I feel it is good to give them what they want within reason. It keeps them happy. No point in having them stew fro long period of time and becoming unhappy with the relationship. Submissive need to get their satisfaction/expectations met as long as they are reasonable. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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8/14/2019 4:28 am |
Agreed!
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I absolutely agree. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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