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Taking A Walk In Submissive Shoes Just something I was wondering about so I thought I would put my thoughts paper (okay computer screen…I mean who writes paper anymore? ). Anyway, here are my thoughts. As a dominant have you ever made the choice walk in a submissive’s shoes? What I mean by this is have you ever: Been spanked? And no I don’t mean back when you 5 and you were told to stay out of the cookie jar and you did not listen, but been spanked how you spank your girl? Been restrained/tied ? Once again not as in a sensual sex way but in a way make you feel ‘helpless’? Had agree and abide by rules much like those you and your girl have? Felt nipple clamps tightly upon you? Known the ‘sting’ of a flogger? Okay, I could go on with my ‘list’ of things but I think you understand what I am getting at. Now I know my own trip into the BDSM world began “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….” as Star War’s opening crawl says but not things from the past are bad things. We are now in a world where instant gratification is king (or queen) and with a few deft mice clicks a person can be transformed into a master, slave, dominant, submissive, or switch (or any other title they would like). I believe sites like Tumblr/FetLife are wonderful places to be able to explore, learn, make friends, and find events to attend in the ‘real world’. I also believe that the good old days were not always good, but we can take good things from the past and bring them back to the future (Okay I’m done with the cheesy movie references now). When I was first exposed to kink, my mentors were very patient and we spent a lot of time simply talking about things and thankfully they answered my questions (even the dumb ones) along with giving books read and discuss with them long before we arrived at the place were ‘’ happened. In fact, my first exposure “” happens with being taken a small gathering. It was the first time I had seen actually BDSM and my mentors made sure I understood all the rules of the gathering. Thankfully I was just there to watch because just watching was sensory overload. It was so amazing, disturbing, erotic, overwhelming, and yet I could not get enough of it. Now by this time, I felt (as did my mentors) that I was not submissive or a switch, however, they explained that I would learn the ‘hands-’ side of things from the bottom . So my hands- learning taught what having rules felt like feel the whacks of a crop. I did not find any pleasure in this but what I was learning was how it felt be in the role of a submissive. As I learned and was able ‘’ as a top, my mentors would make sure I was doing things correctly from how to use things to the importance of aftercare. I loved the way I learned and experienced things in my introduction to BDSM because it worked out very well for me, but I know my introduction/mentoring is not the way for everyone or anyone but myself. I am curious though, how have others learned the hands (or toys) on type of ? Do you feel that a dominant should experience feeling the sensations that they give their submissive partners? ©TLK2020  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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I have tried out, well had them treid on me with the exception of vagina insertables. Its good to know and understand what they do. I also, for the sake of discussion, tok the role of a submissive to try and understand that mindset. I really was the dominant, but she was a switch and I gave it a go for 6 months. I really could enjoy most of the restraints, spanking, flogging or whatever. But never could get to what I thought would be a submissive place in my head. So I have a lot of respect for anyone who is submissive. I think it is far harder to submit than to take the lead. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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My experience, my introduction to SM, was horrible, also due to my own shortcomings in knowledge and rights, too. Painfull as it is to confess that. I talked with a lot of "? dominants"? online, read all what i could find. Talked with submissives and dominants alike... And still picked the wrong geezer! Let me be overruled by him.....  Learning it the hard way.... Made me very aware of all the dangers of picking the wrong geezer and the consequences of that for your mind and body, too.. Your sanity, your trust......
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A great writing, thank you. Yes, in the old days, cough! before internet, 50 shades, and all the fucked up porn, it was a common rule, that the dominant first always tried stuff on himself. Also dominants had mentors, to witch they could come to, about all they wanted to know, all the questions they had, ( there are NO stupid qeustions ) They were also 'trained' by other dominants, to check if they were worthy of the title Dominant. Unless they were allowed to use the title Dominant, they were called tops. Also it was a case of honor when the dominant trained himself in the use of a whip, so he could hit the right spot time, after time, after time, after time. Training themselfs by using a pillowcase with stripes on them... Now, any emotional retard can buy all kind of heavy shit online or in porn shops, without any awareness about the dangerous about all those tools! And, most of the time too lazy or chicken to try them first on themselfs. The emergency ward in any hospital can tell you horrible storys!
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Ali i alwyd thought you were a dominant? Anywy i do agree the Dom should have an idea of what it feelslike to understand the power they've been given. ever wonder what it was that got you interested in BDSM? i think i might start a blog on that. what is it inside of people like us that made us experiment or choose the life style?  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Ali i alwyd thought you were a dominant? Anywy i do agree the Dom should have an idea of what it feelslike to understand the power they've been given. ever wonder what it was that got you interested in BDSM? i think i might start a blog on that. what is it inside of people like us that made us experiment or choose the life style?
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ali I think it is very important for a dom/me to have experienced what is to be administered! The Life- Style is dangerous and having experienced a flogging etc makes some-one aware of the good and bad.... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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My last dominant was very good at making sure all our gear worked well, by trying it out before he used it on me. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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