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The Perfect Submissive My early beliefs about D/s were shaped by a series of pretty emotionally abusive relationships. And by shit, I read in the weird crevices of the internet. For a long time, I didn’t know any better. Pair that with the fact that I’m a perfectionist and you got some pretty dicey situations. And I’m not talking oh, I like to do well - I’m talking a nearly pathological need to be perfect. I used to think the perfect sub would take whatever they were given and beg for more. I used to think the perfect sub would never have to use their safeword. I used to think the perfect sub was always willing, ready, and available. I used to think the perfect sub didn’t have limits. Or that if they did then they’d happily push and test and abandon those limits to please their Dom(me). I used to think the perfect sub didn’t make waves, didn’t ask for too much, and didn’t need more than what they were given. I used to think the perfect sub was focused entirely on the relationship and on pleasing their Dom(me) and that nothing was ever - EVER - more important than that. I used to think the perfect sub was pleasing, quiet, agreeable, soft, and pliant. Always. Without exception. But now I know better. The perfect sub has limits and safewords when it gets to be too much. The perfect sub is not afraid to safeword whenever and whoever they need to. The perfect sub has needs and speaks up about those needs because they know that their Dom(me) is not a mind reader. The perfect sub has expectations and requirements and beliefs that they bring to the relationship. The perfect sub has deal-breakers and things that will not be negotiated. The perfect sub is not always ready, not always willing, and not always available - and that’s okay. The perfect sub has a life and focuses outside of the relationship. The perfect sub has interests and hobbies and friends and a life. And sometimes that life requires attention. The perfect sub doesn’t necessarily like everything that’s depicted in porn. The perfect sub can’t necessarily deepthroat or take a spanking or be tied up in elaborate positions. The perfect sub knows that communication is key. And knows that it’s okay to stand up for themselves. And knows that their Dom(me) is not a god but a human. And the perfect sub is human too. Which means that they’re not really perfect at all. And that’s okay. I’m learning. ~DirtyLittleBookworm  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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You hit the point.  I tip my hat
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Very informative
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7/15/2021 2:59 am |
Fantastic post, thanks for sharing.
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as a submissive that is so spot on!! thank you for finding these informative pieces and posting them. do you have a library of informative literature? if not what sites do you find these? i've been in the lifestyle for decades but what you post are so well said that i say to myself "exactly wish i said that that way". KEEP THEM COMING AND THANKS AGAIN Thank you for the compliment. I really appreciate it.  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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The Perfect Submissive is not stereotypical or perfectly fitted in a square box. It's the creativeness, the genuine and unique personality, one who loves, and accepts love...I could go on and on, but nice read and sexy pic.
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as a submissive that is so spot on!! thank you for finding these informative pieces and posting them. do you have a library of informative literature? if not what sites do you find these? i've been in the lifestyle for decades but what you post are so well said that i say to myself "exactly wish i said that that way". KEEP THEM COMING AND THANKS AGAIN
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Yes, it does. If you do "steal it," please leave the credit intact.
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Just what I needed to read, Ali.. makes perfect sense to me and something to strive for. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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she is welcome to come sit beside my bed anytime! "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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My friend, though I don't know you too well, I said some weeks ago that I loved your blog posts, and here again is a fabulous piece, if only Doms realised this, we'd have a world of happy Subs, for the most part, thank you and keep posting J x "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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I always remember a scene in CSI where Lady Heather makes the statement: "In and Dom/sub relationship, it is important to remember that it is the sub who holds all the power." The post above validates that very well. Great post! (I may steal it) "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Yes, I thought so too. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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absolute wisdom I totally agree. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Just what I needed to read, Ali.. makes perfect sense to me and something to strive for.
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she is welcome to come sit beside my bed anytime!
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No one really knows until they live the life. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Well, what you say here make Perfect sense. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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7/13/2021 9:58 am |
My friend, though I don't know you too well, I said some weeks ago that I loved your blog posts, and here again is a fabulous piece, if only Doms realised this, we'd have a world of happy Subs, for the most part, thank you and keep posting J x
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I always remember a scene in CSI where Lady Heather makes the statement: "In and Dom/sub relationship, it is important to remember that it is the sub who holds all the power." The post above validates that very well. Great post! (I may steal it)
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nett
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nobody is perfekt
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At a retirement party, someone said of the retiree "He was the type of boss who when he gave you an order you wanted to do it." Always thought that applied to the perfect sub.
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 Slave rick
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No one really knows until they live the life.
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absolute wisdom I totally agree.
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