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Holy Moses And The Pecking Order No matter where we are in life and what we do there is always a pecking order and it reminds me of the Bob Dylan song Gotta Serve Somebody. The premise of the song is that in life no matter what we do, everyone will have someone they are accountable to, and within the lifestyle, there is a mantra called the D/S Hierarchy. This ‘list’ has been around for years and years. So long that it was something that I can remember discussing twenty-plus years ago with my lifestyle mentors. FYI, that makes me feel old to say that but I am as old as feel, and trust me I do not feel that old. Anyway, back to the lifestyle hierarchy and it goes simply like this: *Submissive’s Needs *Dominant’s Needs *Dominant’s Wants *Submissive’s Wants There are some variants out there that also include a dominant’s whims below the d-type’s wants and above s-type’s wants. No matter the version, I want to take a bit of time and discuss what many in the lifestyle preach and see as written in stone as though they are the lifestyle version of the Ten Commandments, although it would just be the or commandments depending on the version of these mitzvahs subscribed to. A quick ‘squirrel’ moment here but how come I have yet to see an “Online dom” take the name, Moses. It could be perfect, he could to part a submissive’s legs with the power of his ‘godlike’ wang and after he climbs on and mounts the submissive, he could deliver his commandments for the s-type to follow. Okay, back to my thoughts… Just like many things in life, this is a great starting point for someone new to the lifestyle and for lack of better words ‘to get a clue about how things function in a lifestyle relationship. So, I do agree this is a great starting point, a wonderful discussion piece but there is another element that will stick its ugly long nose in thus messing with this ideal and this bit of nasal nasty is life. I do believe that a dominant no matter if they are a stern master or a tender type as well as any combination in between, should always endeavor to put their submissive first but this is when that Wicked Witch of the West of life can upset any relationship’s happy apple cart. It is not a question of if but when this will happen. When relationship apples are tossed willy nilly all over the road of life (is the road paved, yellow bricked, or washboard dirt…The things my mind wonders), there will be times when the submissive will have to put the needs of their dominant first and the d-type must allow this to happen. It can be a momentary bump that has jostled the dominant or it could be a serious situation but, in any relationship, there will come a time when a d-type must step aside and allow their s-type to take care of their needs while placing their needs secondary. It would be amazing if life was a fairytale where after teaming up to slay a fire-breathing dragon while dating a dominant and submissive earn happily ever after but sadly we do not live in epic Disney movies. So, moving on to wants. Right now, I want some dark chocolate and coffee. Alas, the chocolate is not going to happen as I am in recovery from unhealthy eating last week but the coffee has appeared. Okay, back to the topic at hand, once again I agree in theory the wants of dominant over submissive are logical, makes sense, and truly fits a power exchange relationship however just like above, I believe that it needs to be allowed to be fluid rather than carved into granite. Why I believe this about wants, is left wanting, is because this is of the amazing ways that as a dominant, I can encourage a submissive partner to fulfill my wants. In my opinion, a submissive is wired to please and takes great pleasure in meeting both the wants and needs of their d-type. When a dominant invests time and effort to make a serious deposit into a submissives ‘want bank’, the interest they are earning is fueling the submissive’s ‘need’ to fulfill the d-type’s wants (even those very naughty and selfish ones). I look at satisfying the wants of a partner by making deposits into the bank of mutual need. The more you invest today, the more hunger, thirst, desire, and the need to be with each other will compound and grow over time. So, if a dominant does make some investments that put the submissive’s wants a priority over their own, they are investing in their partner and will see that investment pays off many times over. By investing in what the submissive wants, a dominant will reap a return on their investment that even the best stockbrokers would be jealous of. Mantras like this hierarchy I believe are great teaching and discussion tools but so many times I believe that like many things in the world people will take them over the top. This is a great thing to share with someone new to the lifestyle and converse about with newbies and veterans alike but when it comes to partnerships in the real and often turbulent world people can place percepts such as this above the relationship thus setting it to fail. Talking are great for sailing through smooth waters but they need to be adjusted as needed to for a storm on the sea of life or for investing in the treasure that is a partner. of the keys to building a successful lifestyle relationship is to build a solid foundation but never forget to keep things flexible enough to bend with the winds of life, never forgetting a lifestyle relationship is a partnership between dominant and submissive here on the third rock from the sun where life takes twists and turns which do not lead to solutions that are set in stone nor can they be healed by pretending that d/s is a magic elixir. ©TLK2020  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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I'd not seen that hierarchy previously.....thank you
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3/5/2022 9:57 pm |
I like the photo. I assume that he is the Dominant. And he does as he pleases knowing what he is doing might be misinterpreted. But is the Dominant.
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THIS! To read THIS, made me nod and smile all the time. Yes! Thank you! 🙏 "Moses",made me laugh out loud!
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Thank you "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Very profoundly put and great topics that should be communicated more often Another great post gorgeous woman Sir
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