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D/s Is A Bright Light On A Dark Night The D/S lifestyle is often viewed as dark and when exploring many people who identify on the d side of the slash love to discuss rules and even predetermined punishments for violations which adds up to a negative vibe that can permeate everything BDSM on top of the lifestyle being seen as some sort of dark art by many in the vanilla world. Thankfully, the lifestyle is not dark, dank, or a negative place plus positivity in the community and relationships create positive outcomes. So here are ten uplifting items dominants can do to help a submissive achieve bright, inspiring achievements. 1- When your submissive has been dealt a few lemons in their day, work to inspire them to see the lemons as a chance to make amazing lemonade. When things happen in life, remind your partner (and yourself) that you can only control certain things in life, to do your best and if the outcome is not an ideal one, then learn the lessons it can teach but keep the momentum moving forward. Life is not always filled with winning outcomes and a d-type can help their partner see challenging situations as a chance to learn rather than a reason to give up. 2- All of us are wired so that a negative experience can quash all of the good that happened leading up to that unfavorable event and leave us moping after as well. When a dominant sees that their submissive is having some of their positivity squeezed out of them by the day, have them share five things they are grateful for, with the d-type keeping a list so they can challenge their s-type to think of new things rather than giving the same answers. This may seem hokey but when we are grateful, we are happier. 3- Work with your submissive so they get better at rejection. We often think of rejection as related to romantic relationships but it is so much more than that because it can be things such as having an idea shot down at work, a bad job interview, or getting overruled on what restaurant to dine at. Rejection is something that on some level all of us ‘fear’ but learning to manage that fear will allow for growth and inspire your partner to take on new challenges. Something to think about, Miguel Cabrera, of the Detroit Tigers, is the most successful baseball player at hitting who is currently playing, yet he fails 68% of the time. 4- “Houston we have a problem.” Part of being your partner’s dominant is that you are the relationship’s leader and being in that role requires fixing problems/issues when they happen. When a d-type notices something that needs to be addressed, do not just indicate that there is a problem. Consider not sharing that there is a problem and instead offer ideas and solutions to fix the problem without the s-type even knowing their d-type had sensed one. 5- This is a little thing but it makes a huge difference. Take the time to think before you speak and when you do speak, ditch those dirty words. No fucker, I am not talking about profanity but those even nastier words, negative ones. Replace negative words with positive ones and both of you will positively see the difference. 6- When your submissive is having ‘one of those days’ remind them to take a break and create a moment for themselves. If you sense your partner feels like the world is closing in, remind them to take a minute to catch their breath. It does not have to be a prescribed length and can be a simple reminder to have them close their eyes, take a deep breath, and exhale stress. 7- Swap out the words I have to with I get to. Once again, this sounds simple but the effect is unique and it changes how you see the world. Rather than “I have to go to work”, it becomes “I get to go to work”. Just that simple word replacement is a reminder of how lucky you are to be able to work. This simple trick can and will change your outlook. 8- Put the damn phone away. Social media brings a lot of great things but there is also a poop ton of negativity there. From negative news, people ranting that they have been done wrong and people sharing sad stories all of it can bring you down, so create a night or even a weekend where you create a safe place for your submissive to have fun, be happy, and the ‘dumbphone’ goes away. Trust me, we can all survive without social media for twenty-four hours and you will be delighted. 9- No matter how awesome we are at avoiding drama, it seems that someone is always ready to pounce trying to bring drama into our lives. Something as simple as complaining will lower our mood and bring us down. A dominant needs to work with their partner to avoid being trapped in other people’s messes or to help them escape a sinkhole of negativity. 10- It all starts with a smile because a smile will make others smile. If a dominant wants to see their submissive smile more and frown less, then they can look in the mirror because it will start with them. The more a d-type smiles, the infection of smiles will be passed on to their submissive. Remember to smile and pass it on. While this little list, was intended for ways that a dominant can inspire success through positivity, the ideas are all things that anyone can do not just exclusive to being dominant or being in a relationship. These are all things we can do as individuals to make each day a tremendous triumph. Is there an idea you would add to this list? ©TLK2022  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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yes, you summed it up - the smile is infectious. well said  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Beautifully written. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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She shouldn't be your number one . . . She should be your only one. Whatever she faces shouldn't matter, because of who has her back. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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So much of how one's day will be, is mindset and attitude. 7) hits on this very well. High fiving yourself when you get up and in the first mirror you pass, brings out a smile and a positive feeling. We all know the high five as being a positive gesture, which everyone reacts to. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Nice writing, makes sense! I think, the picture is a bit strange.... Positivity is key, responsibility too,, both ways,,, "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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I love that picture! "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Exactly
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yes, you summed it up - the smile is infectious. well said
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Beautifully written.
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She shouldn't be your number one . . . She should be your only one. Whatever she faces shouldn't matter, because of who has her back.
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So much of how one's day will be, is mindset and attitude. 7) hits on this very well. High fiving yourself when you get up and in the first mirror you pass, brings out a smile and a positive feeling. We all know the high five as being a positive gesture, which everyone reacts to.
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Excellent list. I've written about many of them and found they ALL work if you just take the time and effort.
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Nice writing, makes sense! I think, the picture is a bit strange.... Positivity is key, responsibility too,, both ways,,,
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I love that picture!
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Take what you need, add something positive, and leave the rest "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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