Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > aliljaded > It's All Relevant |
|
What are some good questions to ask a prospective Dom/me to help spot fakes and predators? First principle: open-ended questions. The second principle: let the prospect keep talking. The third principle: respond briefly (“Ah.” “I see.” that sort of thing). Fourth principle: if he keeps bringing the conversation back to sexual matters, that’s a big red flag. Now, some specific questions. How the prospect answers these questions will be telling. Tell me about your journey as a Dom/me. (let him/her ramble) What is the most fulfilling part of being a Dom/me? (you want to hear things like the responsibility for guiding and directing and shaping you, not “having you suck my dick”) Tell me about your last sub. ( note whether he/she speaks well or ill of her, regardless of how it ended) Why did your last sub leave you? (she/he may not have been the one to leave, but the question will throw him off balance) Which of your exes can I contact as a reference? (any Dom/me with any lived experience is going to have at least one ex who can speak his qualifications) Tell about your mentor. (mentors are hard to come by these days, but “self-taught” is often “badly taught”) Tell me what non-kink things you bring to a scene. (you want to hear a first aid kit, scissors to deal with rope- mishaps in a hurry, H2O, and snacks for aftercare) How do you handle a safe-word situation when the sub doesn’t have the power of speech? (you’re looking for him/her to talk about things like “safe gestures” or similar signals) Tell me 5 non-sexual things you would incorporate into our dynamic to help me feel my submission and your dominance. (you’re looking for things like good morning/good night, check-ins, possibly clothing and meal approval, that sort of thing) Be cagey, vet thoroughly, and above all, trust your gut. Your brain is sometimes unreliable, and your submissive desires will get you in all kinds of trouble, but your gut never lies. **Unknown  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
|||
|
Yes, every submissive, but dominant too, should have this as his/h er bible! Carry always with you, when you meet a potential ...? dominant? Or predator, faker..... I used it many times, the fakers allways comes short..... Show their true colour by getting angry, upset, calling me a Domina, or NOT A REAL SUBMISSIVE... Yeah, right. Thank you for this very good list, to start with, when meeting.... "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
| ||
|
Happy New Year to you as well. I'm glad you were able to apply some of this to your dating repertoire. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
| ||
|
You bring up so many good points. Too many to adequately comment on now. I will just say that as a caring Dom, I welcome such scrutiny. The more questions my potential sub has for me, the more likelihood we will both be happy. There should be no rush to form a good relationship. As anyone knows from dealing with all the obstacles on this site, patience has its rewards. If a few extra emails between Dom and sub need to take place till the sub feels more confident about the match, where is the problem in that. Do your homework, people, as aliljaded, suggests. It will lead to a brighter future. That is so true! I really enjoyed your comments. Thank you for sharing them. P.S. Your photo is hilarious. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
| ||
|
I think the questions are spot on  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
| ||
|
Yes, every submissive, but dominant too, should have this as his/h er bible! Carry always with you, when you meet a potential ...? dominant? Or predator, faker..... I used it many times, the fakers allways comes short..... Show their true colour by getting angry, upset, calling me a Domina, or NOT A REAL SUBMISSIVE... Yeah, right. Thank you for this very good list, to start with, when meeting....
| ||
|
Good advice. It should be made mandatory reading for every starting sub, and just to be safe, a yearly refresher reading too. 
| ||
|
I think this is a great place to start.  
| ||
|
Fourth principle: if he keeps bringing the conversation back to sexual matters, that’s a big red flag. If she keeps bringing the conversation back to sexual matters, and wants creeper info about your ex's. But only offers short answers like, "I see". that’s a big red flag.
| ||
|
You bring up so many good points. Too many to adequately comment on now. I will just say that as a caring Dom, I welcome such scrutiny. The more questions my potential sub has for me, the more likelihood we will both be happy. There should be no rush to form a good relationship. As anyone knows from dealing with all the obstacles on this site, patience has its rewards. If a few extra emails between Dom and sub need to take place till the sub feels more confident about the match, where is the problem in that. Do your homework, people, as aliljaded, suggests. It will lead to a brighter future.
| ||
|
I think the questions are spot on
| ||
|
Good advice. It should be made mandatory reading for every starting sub, and just to be safe, a yearly refresher reading too. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
| ||
|
Good advice. It should be made mandatory reading for every starting sub, and just to be safe, a yearly refresher reading too.
| ||
|
is that how it works ? The relationship isn't just "as it is", but enacted through scenes ? "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
| ||
|
What a great reply to your question. Way to put it out there, Unknown.
| ||
|
is that how it works ? The relationship isn't just "as it is", but enacted through scenes ?
| ||
|
I think this is a great place to start. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
×
×