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aliljaded 53F
23800 posts
12/4/2023 10:12 pm
Determination

Submission, and Dominance for that matter, while inbred, don’t come naturally. Now don’t mistake my meaning here, I believe submissives and Dominants are born this way, as much as people are born with blue eyes or brown. The innate desire to lead, or to follow, is not a choice, but the acts of submission and dominance are not innate, they are learned.

Take sex, for example, you can know that you want it, that it is something you need in your life, but learning to have fulfilling sex is a journey, not a single act. And so it is for D/s. You can take a submissive or a Dominant as your own, but that doesn’t complete your journey any more than losing your virginity makes you a master of sex. There is always more to learn.

And you know what? It’s not fucking easy. You’re going to screw up. Probably a lot. You’ll hurt the person you love and it’s going to be soul-crushing. They’re going to hurt you too, and you’ll probably be blindsided. You’ll learn and grow, and if you’re anything like me, sometimes you’ll look at the trail of mistakes behind you and you’ll wonder if maybe you aren’t meant for this after all. That maybe you aren’t really submissive because you seem to fail a lot, or that maybe you aren’t really Dominant because you seem to hurt your sub even when it’s the last thing you want.

But here’s the thing… Dominance and submission are innate desires, but learning to fulfill those desires takes work. Learning to serve your partner, fulfill their needs, and make sure that your own are met, requires determination and effort. Wanting something, truly deeply wanting it, even needing it, doesn’t mean you know how to get it.

You have to be willing to pick yourself back up when you fall. It doesn’t mean you weren’t made for this. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a ‘true’ submissive or a Dominant. It means that if you want it badly enough, you’ll muster the strength to learn.

~pleasurewhore


"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


uncommon1 66M  
1446 posts
12/5/2023 6:35 pm

Determination
is will, in action.


boh99 68M
3154 posts
12/5/2023 8:37 am

good points...


RobertBishop 66M  
2146 posts
12/5/2023 8:21 am

These words apply to any relationship, not just d/s. Hard work, understanding and self-awareness are all required. It's hard enough to find someone, and even harder to keep them.


likeithot19 62M
6064 posts
12/5/2023 4:25 am

Nothing comes easy. If you want it, have to work for it.. even after you get it... got to work to keep it.. so I agree...it takes determination!


Ctspanker 65M
13 posts
12/4/2023 10:44 pm

There are times that I like to just hold my submissive after I see my handy work. It could be her bright red ass cheeks or rope work. That can make a Dom or sub very wet or hard. Where others do not under stand.
There are many on here that prey on sub's to get what they don't get at home.


Innit99 53M

12/4/2023 10:26 pm

Without determination it is easy to loose hope



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