Blog : Your submissive used their safeword: time to R.E.A.D!

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1/15/2024 2:59 am

Your submissive used their safeword: time to R.E.A.D!

Safewords happen. They are vital to healthy and safe BDSM activity. The first time hearing a safeword, though, can be a panic moment for a new dominant, so when it happens, just remember to R.E.A.D:

React- Stop play immediately, undo any ties or bindings and get your submissive into a comfortable position.

Evaluate- determine whether or not your submissive is capable of communicating and if they are in immediate physical danger. Determine the type of care they need.

Administer care- this can take many forms depending on what kind of care they need, but will often take the form of hydration and cuddling. At this point, you should also be reassuring your submissive that you are proud of them for using their safe word responsibly.

Debrief- once your submissive is capable of clear speech, have an open and honest conversation with them about what went wrong in the scene. Make sure to ask what they felt and have them walk through the experience from their end. Make sure you show empathy and encourage your submissive to speak freely, as these debriefs are one of the ways we learn.

Sometimes these steps happen all at once and sometimes they are spaced out over a relatively long period of time, but always remember to R.E.A.D any time a safeword is used!

Play safe!

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”

Daddyforchel 57M