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Some more humour...(???***???) As most of us here are seeking that special someone, here are some clues about what the profile actually means... WOMEN'S ADS 40-ish - 49 Adventurer - Slept with all your friends Athletic - No tits Average looking - Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious Smile - Does a lot of Coke Educated - Banged her lecturer Emotionally Secure - Medicated Feminist - Fat ballbuster Free spirit - Nympho Friendship first - Trying live down reputation as a slut Fun - Annoying Gentle - Comatose Good Listener - Borderline Autistic New-Age - body hair, all the time Old-fashioned values - Lights out, missionary position , no BJs Open-minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Poet - Depressive Schizophrenic Professional - Certified Bitch Reubenesque - Grossly Fat Romantic - Looks better by candle light Social - Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray Voluptuous - Very Fat. Wants Soulmate - Stalker Widow - Drove first husband shoot himself Young at heart - Old bat MEN'S ADS 40-ish - 55 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic - Watches a lot of Football Educated - Will patronize the shit out of you Free Spirit - Wants bang your sister Friendship first - As long as friendship involves nookie Fun - Good with a remote and a six-pack Good looking - Arrogant Very good looking - Arrogant, but also dumb as a board Honest - Pathological Liar Huggable - Overweight, more body hair than a bear Likes to cuddle - Insecure mama's boy Mature - Older than your father Open-minded - Wants sleep with your flatmate but she's not interested Passionate - Practically overdosed on Viagra Physically fit - Still turns out for a Sunday morning -a-bout with his mates Poet - Wrote ex-girlfriend's into a dirty limerick Sensitive - Cries at chick flicks Very sensitive - Gay Spiritual - Once got laid in a cemetery Stable - Stalking conviction pending Thoughtful - Says "Excuse me" when he farts Widower - Murdered first wife but found not guilty Young at Heart - Behaves like a on a manic high |
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Reasons why Women find it hard to find the Man of their Dreams: 1.The nice men are ugly. 2.The handsome men are not nice. 3.The handsome and nice men are gay. 4.The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. 5.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money 6.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money. 7. The handsome men without money are after our money. 8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough. 9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards. 10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! 11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative. NOW, WHO CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND MEN? "Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job, to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with." Ginger
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