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Saving the best til last! Again, main body follows! |
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So the absolute pick of the call centre conversations is here.... Obviously this is quite old... I have not heard any mention of WordPerfect since the late 1990s... This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Operator: "What sort of trouble??" Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." Operator: "Went away?" Caller: "They disappeared." Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen lo ok like now?" Caller: "Nothing." Operator: "Nothing??" Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" Caller: "How do I tell?" Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??" Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" Caller: "What's a monitor?" Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" Caller: "I don't know." Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" Caller: "Yes, I think so." Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: "Yes, it is." Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." Caller: "Okay, here it is." Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." Caller: "I can't reach." Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." Operator: "Dark??" Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. " Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." Caller: &nbs p; "I can't." Operator: "No? Why not??" Caller: "Because there's a power failure." Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??" Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." Operator: &n bsp; "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??" Operator: "Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer!!!!!" Give that man a cigar!
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...a cigar and a stiff drink. After working in a call center for even one shift you need one...
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OMG too funny....maybe an oldie...but certainly gave me a huge smile..Ty!
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...a cigar and a stiff drink. After working in a call center for even one shift you need one...
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When I was a young Engineer working in a food factory. I was called to a machine, a small industrial chopping machine, tabletop model. Operator was trying to chop peppers. I asked what was wrong, he said, "it just won't work at all." I took hold of the power lead & kept passing it through my hands until I was holding the plug in my hand. "Do you think plugging it in might help?" I enquired. On another occation, I went with an electrician to a machine that rolled out pastry. As soon as we got near it, we could smell that the electric motor had burnt out. We found that they had washed it down with a pressure washer the previous night, thus saturating the electric motor. So we replaced the electric motor & told the operator to cover the electric motor with a plastic bag when they washed the machine down. Following morning, called back to same machine, could smell the burnt out motor. The electrician & I looked down at the motor, still with a black bin bag wrapped around it, thus stopping the cooling fan cooling the motor. I suppose we should have made it clear you remove the plastic bag after washing the machine. But we couldn't believe that wasn't obvious.
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OMG too funny....maybe an oldie...but certainly gave me a huge smile..Ty!
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When I was a young Engineer working in a food factory. I was called to a machine, a small industrial chopping machine, tabletop model. Operator was trying to chop peppers. I asked what was wrong, he said, "it just won't work at all." I took hold of the power lead & kept passing it through my hands until I was holding the plug in my hand. "Do you think plugging it in might help?" I enquired. On another occation, I went with an electrician to a machine that rolled out pastry. As soon as we got near it, we could smell that the electric motor had burnt out. We found that they had washed it down with a pressure washer the previous night, thus saturating the electric motor. So we replaced the electric motor & told the operator to cover the electric motor with a plastic bag when they washed the machine down. Following morning, called back to same machine, could smell the burnt out motor. The electrician & I looked down at the motor, still with a black bin bag wrapped around it, thus stopping the cooling fan cooling the motor. I suppose we should have made it clear you remove the plastic bag after washing the machine. But we couldn't believe that wasn't obvious.
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There was a blog or something about such cases. I remember one about an office worker whose hard drives kept crashing for no explainable reason. The maker replaced them a few times because of the warranty period, but then decided to watch the guy at work: he kept slapping the CPU cabinet whenever he thought the machine wasn't working fast enough.
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Certainly sounds worthy of my "stupidity" list... lol
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OMG too funny....maybe an oldie...but certainly gave me a huge smile..Ty!
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