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3/27/2021 3:37 am |
Very well stated.
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you are so right on a lot of it. but many older men think with there cocks too. into there pleasure not ours
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Curvy I am an older man so biased but I think you raise the very important point! Being polite and wanting to please are likely to be more successful than the alternatives! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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3/27/2021 4:03 am |
Well said. As an obviously older man I appreciate the sentiment. I think life experiences play a major role in how a man behaves toward women. We older men have more patience than the "now generation". We understand the concept of delayed gratification: Put in the work now to enjoy the benefits later.
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3/27/2021 4:39 am |
Beautifully written
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Could not agree more, take your time, be respectful of your role and savor the moments
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3/27/2021 5:23 am |
i Agree and Disagree, i don't feel this is an age thing per se. i Feel that currently most people just seem to be in a bloody rush with everything and don't want to put the time and effort into doing things right.
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Are you this kind of 'Dom'? I'd say even considering this type of individual to be a 'Dom' would be a stretch. Yeah ... That scenario is right out of fantasy land. I bet he's never met an actual submissive in real life. And with that line of BS, he never will. No wonder the ladies of ALT tire of the never ending BS around here. Make Women Female Again
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I agree with you wholeheartedly, but there is gender reversal in this equation as well. While I am definitely a dominant male, I am regularly approached by younger dommes with the same attitude. Pure lunacy!
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I agree with what you said. I think a big part of the problem is ..well there are no mentorships for budding Dom/mes. It would be like letting a rookie plumber into your house to fix your pipe. Your service call with an older male is gonna give you a better experience. It's that way with sex,plumbing...so why are we surprised that it turns up that way in the lifestyle.
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I know from personal experience, that I am more conscious of what other's want, need and enjoy than when I was young. Enjoying my pleasure then and not thinking of my partner's very much. As I grew with my involvement within the lifestyle, the pleasure that I gained grew more from learning my partners better and seeing just what would take them places that we both enjoyed so much rather than just my own pleasure. It also involves whether it's for pleasure, or just for sex too. Seems that some older women either like having the younger eye candy or are looking for that fountain of youth. I learned a long time ago, that most men, can't hold a candle to what a woman can do sexually, but toys used properly do usually level the field or even give us the advantage.
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3/27/2021 8:54 am |
In order to mentor someone they have to have the desire and capacity to learn. I'd suggest reading first. When someone reads they are learning from the memoirs of someones personal experiences. I think everything you said was spot on. When someone young says they like older women. It's code for "I need some easy pussy". I'm a man and I was once young so they can't bullshit me. Everything they are experiencing or want to experience. I've already gone through and more. One day they will be right where I am now and looking back to think how stupid they were at that age and how they should've done things differently....That's if they've matured mentally and emotionally.
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From a lesbian sub point of view women dominants can be the same at times. It takes time to connect and understand what each party needs and is willing to give. In my experience age really has no affect on those interactions.
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Answer - Mutual pleasure. But then even when I was young, I was always more interested in building a realationship. Of course that was before the lifestyle, but I think the same thing still applies. You can "have sex" with any woman that appeals to you, (if she'll let you), but you can only "make love" to a woman you've built a relationship with. Having sex is good, but making Love is much better. Vanilla or lifestyle you still have to build a realationship. A lot of these younger Doms, (& some of the older ones), aren't really Doms. I think they are just after some kinky sex & they think if they claim to be Dom they can demand what they want, They are hoping it's an easy path to self gratification. Reading & learning would be good, but have they the self discipline, I doubt it. As for the Dommes guilty of the same thing, I feel fairly sure you'll find those are just scammers using a scatter gun approach. Those that send messages to Dom men & women who have no bi/lesbian interest, & as scammers, that probably means that they are mostly men & young men at that. You are so right about the brain being the most powerful sex organ. But the inputs are different for men & women. Men tend to be more visual & turned on through the eye, women I believe less so, unless it's the written word. Women tend more toward oral, no sorry, that may come later, I mean aural stimulation. Stimulated through the ear. Theres a reason why they talk of, "he's" wispering sweet nothing in "her" ear. Oh, & "do you like anal," as pac said in her post, isn't an appropriate place to start! Where ever you want to end up, you are going to have to start much further back on the road map than that. Well that my thoughts on it anyway.
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Nothing else need be said you said it so well.
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4/9/2021 11:35 pm |
I am all about serving a dominant woman's pleasure. That excites and turns me on. I don't care if I cum. I just do absolutely anything she orders me to sexually for her. Hopefully that involves her torturing me: CBT, electric shock, sounding, anal violation...
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Well said and agree many just want the wham bam without putting in the effort in trying to get to know the other person first
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4/21/2021 7:23 am |
Manners, manners, manners. If one conducts themself with the respect and human dignity we wish was inherent, we know that -- at least -- they can control themself whether they are Dominant or submissive. Such behavior demonstrates a certain amount of trustworthiness. On the other hand, people associate "passion" with being out of control, so it's a bit of a dichotomy what people really want, the old whore-madonna syndrome. There is a curious expectation of human behavior that is socially "right" and even the most base "slut" still deserves and expects to be treated with dignity and respect and yes even "care". They are and should be concerned with how another person treats them even if they feel they want and/or deserve debasement (not the same as abuse). The human psyche may be warped and twisted from the "norm" but everyone deserves some respect and concern for human dignity. Faux doms/dommes act as if this social contract is tossed to the winds in the alternative lifestyles. Real people with kinks don't act that way and show self control and manners in dealing with other people. Nuff said. Be well and prosper.
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Well said! You get right to the heart of the matter: relationships (BDSM or not) are all about negotiation. And it is far easier to hold power over people through respect than ruthlessness. What's more, you've proven that Doms can learn as much from Subs as vice versa. Thanks for sharing!
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