Blog : Apes or Gorillas ?

Blogs > virtualcuzi > A Dirigible lost on the wind!

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1/27/2024 4:23 pm

Apes or Gorillas ?

It was disturbing to look around to work out what was going on.
I expected to slip through the system as just a number but I caught a teachers attention.
It was that my father wouldn't pay for me to go on any school excursions and she contacted him about that without asking for my permission.
Then a lot of prying questions but I held my silence, too terrorfied to use my voice.
If promoted enough I would at least make a sound but it sounded a lot like my fathers voice.
I was mortified so I had to invent a sound that was unlike his.
If I decided to speak.
The teacher viewed me like a lost ch&ld growing un in the forest under the care of a family of apes or gorillas.
She'd decided I was a normal but abused from a young age chastised and not permitted to speak.
The game was up for my father and he went through all my stuff gathering anything I'd written and could be used like a diary about the horrors I'd suffered.
I wrote my personal thoughts and drew images of me running rampart with weapons I'd invented to do him in.
My nights were spend awake looking out for his murderous attempt to be rid of me, for not being a girl.
I saw a story about a girl who was in the same boat and developed 30 or more "schizzo" versions of herself.
She was sexually molested and her father got locked away.
There really wasn't any difference to me.
My depression was bipolar and I just dropped into fully blown schizophrenia.
My father moved fast to cover the tracks and I didn't understand what was going on.
I got shuffled around and settled into a place far away where I couldn't cause any trouble.
I must say that schizophrenia was a real hoot in some ways.
A free ticket to "highs" that were amazing.
I'd go for long walks in the desolate place then stripping off the enjoy the sunshine listening to my headphones.
Of course there was a problematic one too and that affected about two percent where they did crazy stuff.
I watched that one where the dad cruelly threw his ch$ld from a bridge.
OMG, it could be a cruel master.
I imagined going to jury duty where the juror were discussing how culpable he was.
I had the insight of having the problem but could I answer the jurors question?
How would I answer it?
I told my doc not to ever be in a closed room with a schizzo patient. This scared her a lot.
The thing is it' all going in my book and in a lot more detail so it "ticks all the boxes" and can be believed.
But just one of many projects I'm working on.
My detective one involving a psychic is beckoning for some modification.
It's true what they say about schizzos having an insight into others thoughts.
I'd take advantage of that but recently after watching Molly's game I thought I'd spruce it up a little to get it to fly off the shelves.
Something Molly described her book as not doing that.
Yes I toyed with the idea of my heroine being a "T".
Some interaction with similarly troubled "T's" whom I'd befriended and planned to spend Christmas day with.
They'd excitedly take control of the workings in the kitchen, and it was delightful the way they bonded.
They liked my stories too, not sure if I was telling the truth.
Like about the prisoner of war who'd practically begged to be abused that way.
Good thing there was no one around, cos he really put up a performance.
So so sexy too.
But telling in that it wasn't just my fathers voice that I'd inherited.
He had friends who thought different things too.
I could touch the plot occasionally though the book to keep the reader interested.
It was easy to tell, as it really happened !