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still learning still making mistakes Sometimes I really wonder if I am stupid or not. Been in the BDSM lifestyle on and off over 27 years. A lot of real time a lot of munches, chats, meetings, munches and talking on line about real life. Have even been a mentor to a fellow submissive. Kind of look at myself as someone that has been around and knows a thing or two. But once again I get caught up on a chat with someone miles and miles away. Being led on as to yes we will meet, yes I want to be your dom and after 5 months I finally realize it's all cyber. Heck even a few that are local to me it seems like a led on. I am old enough to know better but have to look back at me and say am I that wanting and needing to live in fanstasy. Well going by my actions I would say yes I am. Well a breath of fresh air on Wed when I got to meet a Dom in real time at Star Bucks. No pressure no demands and a chance to meet him again. Looking forward to it and \have a strong feeling it will be a regular thing (I hope only time will tell) Have meet a couple of Doms locally and taught all was good but seems like I have been blacklisted by them and I don't know why. Wish some would say hey you are not want I want. I could be very understanding of that. Just because I am submissive doesn't mean I am what a Dom is looking for. Well just on my pity pot right now but looking hard at myself. Need to stop thinking anyone that is more than 50 miles away from me will ever see and bind me. Ashame just wish to know when someone is not interested and when one says I am being considered and then cut loose. Would like to know why-- not a good fit? my breath stinks, I am to old, to ugly, to young, to whatever. Well those who have seen me and talk with me this does not apply. But hope maybe those who just cut loose a sub will think maybe he/she would be a better person/sub if they were told why it was not a match. I know what some will say-- a Dom doesn't owe a sub anything. True and not true remember it is supposed to be a community or is that old school thinking. Strange I seem to write a little bit and a few read it but then no comments. Feedback is needed for a sub and a dom. Positive or negative. I know I might get a lot of flake for this but that is ok feedback is always needed. My old Mistress told me she wants a submissive with a mind and that I am sub but not stupid. No sub should be a doormat UNLESS that is what a sub wants or needs. Yes getting off track some but had to say that. Hopefully some have made it this far in my writing and I will say Thank You Sir, Ma'am. boy, or girl. Please have a great day V/r sissy rikki |
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