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infinitepoetess 54F
6333 posts
9/19/2021 12:57 pm
Out At Sea But Standing on the Beach



He sat there looking into the night sky with her. The big almost full moon gleamed over the water and sunbaked beach.

“I took off work the 14th and 15th of October. I think I just want to go somewhere and hide. I know I should take his ashes and do something with them, but that has been on hold during this pandemic. It’s almost like my grief has been on hold too. “The last words caught in her throat.

He saw the tears well up in the irises of her eyes against the light flickering off in the distance from dissipating fireworks. Their trails twinkled into the horizon of ocean waves, diminishing into the sky like her tears as one slipped down her cheek.

“You need to make a decision about what to do before Babygirl. Its time don’t you think?” He looked at her earnestly. Her shoulders started to shake and she buried her face for a second and then rose trying to compose herself but it was no use. Her lip was trembling, and the tears streamed in two perfect rivulets down her soft cheeks.

“I carry the 30 quid he had in his wallet when he died in my wallet always, I have the man’s jeans and shirt he died in laundered and in my drawer...It’s absolutely pathetic I know.” She sobbed and he encircled her in a hug. It had been two long years of running and she found herself overcome with the angst still clawing at her inside sometimes. She had kept telling herself that one day she would let it all go.

He took her shaky hand in his. “No, it is not pathetic. You loved him and gave Tim every ounce of everything you had to give. To be honest, I can’t imagine being a slave and being the sole bread winner for the length of time that you did it. That had to be so fucking hard. I can’t even imagine. But that is all past. You never have to do that again. That alone should be celebrated because it is my guess Tim wished that for you all along...And you deserve it, if anybody does.”

He smiled and caressed her cheek wiping the tears away as a smile began to form on her lips. In her head she knew he was right and then a song would play or a memory would come to her like the smell of his flat or his skin...the sound of his laugh or his voice...however faint they came, they left her in the wake and she would shake it off and hold strong.

Song for this post
Let Her Go - Passenger


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
9/19/2021 12:58 pm

Well, you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow, and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day, you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow, and it goes so fast

Well, you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much, and you dived too deep

Well, you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go
Oh, oh, mm, oh
And you let her go
Oh, oh, uh, uh
Well, you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go


drmgirl622 68F  
26053 posts
9/19/2021 2:22 pm

This just tugs at my heart and I feel the depth of the pain.


aliljaded 53F
8914 posts
9/19/2021 7:54 pm

I found this today ...I hope it helps.
Grief & Death
Death from a thousand paper cuts. Those nagging, seemingly inconsequential stresses that slowly gnaw at you every day. Not quite big enough to cripple you, but just painful enough to linger. To build up and unexpectedly consume you when we least expect it. Grief is death from a thousand paper cuts. It trickles into your day-to-day, dulls the shine, and though it isn’t a monumental crushing heartbreak, it still pangs; it still aches, and the sad truth is, it may always. Your invisible wound that seeps into the quiet moments. The uninvited guest. The good news is that time has a way of softening the sharpness; a balm for the sting. And then one day, you’ll run your fingers over those 999 scars and take pride in the fact that you survived, realize your strength. Breathe.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


infinitepoetess replies on 9/21/2021 3:19 pm:
I love this so much

Newstrange 49M  
21 posts
9/20/2021 2:44 am

Lovely prose


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
9/21/2021 3:18 pm

    Quoting drmgirl622:
    This just tugs at my heart and I feel the depth of the pain.
Thank you


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
9/21/2021 3:19 pm

Thank you


Mrpaulux1 55M
227 posts
10/8/2021 9:04 am

Lovely text



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