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rondiri 65M
11180 posts
2/23/2022 8:57 pm

Well said infinite. Everyone has demons to be exorcized, and need to admit when we need help and if we make errors. A Master that can't admit mistakes, can't expect the trust of his submissive.
Fire and Rain is an all-time favorite, too. Nice selection.


Toy_Master_54 69M  
605 posts
2/23/2022 9:04 pm

To have a great D/s relationship, both need to connect, and that can't happen while carrying baggage. I don't know anyone can quickly go from one relationship to another. Perhaps I just connect deeper or tighter.

It takes me time to heal and recover from a broken relationship. I feel I need to be able to give that partner the best I have to offer.


rosaenaluin 65F
11008 posts
2/24/2022 1:09 am

Beatiful post.

On Fet they say; you can not expect your D or M, to be your therapist, he/s he is not trained for that.
I agree with that.
You have to take care of your own trauma, first.

Sure, we all are damaged in one way or an other.
I see that as just a fact of life.

Even when you are not abused physical, or mentally, we all get bruises, i believe it is in the way, you handle it, lays your strength, or not...

I believe, Those bruises can give you triggers, it is important for the D, or M, to know those triggers, so he /she can anticipate those, or handle with more care....
It is also important that the s type knows her triggers, to be able to explain, tell about them...

Own your shit! so to say.


mistress_black_d 60F
184 posts
2/24/2022 1:51 am

    Quoting Toy_Master_54:
    To have a great D/s relationship, both need to connect, and that can't happen while carrying baggage. I don't know anyone can quickly go from one relationship to another. Perhaps I just connect deeper or tighter.

    It takes me time to heal and recover from a broken relationship. I feel I need to be able to give that partner the best I have to offer.
Interesting thought, I agree that bouncing from relationships is not healthy (to me).

However, do we ever lose the baggage of our life?
My scars, warts and ageing skin tell of who I am ; I have no fear in that.

My previous relationships (successful and failed) have also left their mark, they moulded me to be who I am. My baggage comes with me, and I reach into it at times, quite often I come out with an interesting toy to play with....


mistress_black_d 60F
184 posts
2/24/2022 1:59 am

    Quoting  :

I would go further and say if your Dom(me) cannot be open with you then they are not able to communicate in a way that will allow RACK/SSC to truly exist.

To me there is a difference between playing a scene, where both parties are "actors" against an agreed "script" and a fully established BDSM relationship.

In a relationship (BDSM or vanilla) I would want there to be sufficient openness that both parties can be familiar with each others vulnerabilities there are times when you avoid the wound and there are times to heal it.


DancingDom 74M
22590 posts
2/24/2022 4:25 am

The first day, that I convince myself I did not make a mistake, is the day I know I am delusional.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


drmgirl622 68F  
26111 posts
2/24/2022 6:57 am

"Then comes the fact that Doms, by their very nature, tend to have a larger ego....."
I find this to be so very true and actually a little sad. I always try to allow my dominant the space to express their vulnerability and just listen to their struggle. It makes me feel even closer to them when they do share with me.


Mrpaulux1 55M
227 posts
2/24/2022 7:32 am

I love this creation splendid post my friend


JohnnyLightning 65M  
9672 posts
2/24/2022 11:59 pm

Nice post. I'm sorry that you went through that with your last dom. I for one have childhood traumas that I've worked through. Part of my interview process is to ask if my new submissive or slave9 if she has any traumas that I should know about. I'm not a psychologist however I would hate to say something that triggers a new submissive or slave. It's better to know of someone's issues before they problems.

Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.


rosaenaluin 65F
11008 posts
2/25/2022 2:55 am

infinite,
Hmm, if those triggers are not known, or not recognised as being related to yought / childhood trauma...?

That actions, words, even smells, can trigger that.....

Then you have a whole other, new problem!
Scary shit situation on your hands.


robotdog 20M
19 posts
3/11/2022 4:29 pm

every woman has a dirty kinky mind that like to try new things



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