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Feeling Like A Queen  I have taken to shooting pool again quite frequently. It quiets the chaos that is my brain activity. Living inside there could be a dangerous place, especially at this time of year. It has only been three years since Tim passed, and holidays can still be my dreaded time. I shoot in a bar that a lot of black guys play and wager. Well, one of them has charmed me enough to go out with him. He is quite a beautiful soul, The first vanilla person I have dated in 26 years. He claims I have a sensuality that drew him in. I usually don't pay too much attention to flattery, but for the first time in a long time, I feel empowered and confident again. I have always been in awe of the black culture and exalting their women to "Queen" status. It is an amazing feeling to be treated like gold and every inch of me loved. My imperfections are accepted instead of never being good enough. Black women are statistically known to have a more healthy view of their bodies than white women. My c-section scar and baby fat that never left is as loved as my face. He diminishes any of my self inflicted criticisms and makes me feel beautiful. He is helping me heal from the narcissistic fuckwit who tore me apart. On a side note the narcissistic fuckwit is a racist and said to me he'd never date a woman who dated a black man. It gives me a little warmth in my heart that he is probably seething over my choices. Get over it fuckwit!  If you are reading this and feel like you are not ideal because some damaged Dom has made you feel not good enough, too fat, not perfect....You are beautiful because you are you. If you have guaged your beauty based on the white establishment of magazine models and porn stars...You are perfectly imperfect and someone will appreciate it. Sometimes we need a healer to help us out. It may not be a forever, but more of a right now. Be here now. And I am back! Loudly Audacious and Confidently Lost  Song for this post Confidently Lost - Sabrina Claudio |
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I'm alone but I'm not lonely Comfortably indulging And tryna get to know me I'm just an outline of what I used to be Constantly evolving Steadily revolving I am confidently lost I don't need you to find me You don't define me I am confidently lost I don't need you to find me 'Cause I'm not hiding Anything Anything Made up of hope and meditation Love, imagination Water my creations Baby, it's amazing All the days I'm facing Nothing seems to phase me 'Cause I am confidently lost I don't need you to find me 'Cause I'm not hiding Anything Anything Anything Anything Thinking about where I've gone Where I'm going And I wouldn't change it for the world Thinking about where I'm from If I belong there But I wouldn't change it for anything (I wouldn't change it for anything) Anything Anything Anything
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You are most welcome
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Good luck with your new adventure (or maybe more) If someone wants to make you feel not good enough for them, accept it that you probably are not good for them. But that is not your problem! At most it is theirs, and otherwise it simply is a fact of life that we can't be right for everyone or in fact most. What counts is if they are good for you and if they are, that means they will and want to accept you the way you are.
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A narcissistic and a racist? Such noble qualities. NOT. I like the writing.
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I missed reading your posts! Sometimes it just takes that one person to lift the spirit and let the inner soul fly 
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I'm happy for you, good luck and congratulations! I imagine that you must already be preparing all those delicious things for the holidays!!!
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Good luck with your new adventure (or maybe more) If someone wants to make you feel not good enough for them, accept it that you probably are not good for them. But that is not your problem! At most it is theirs, and otherwise it simply is a fact of life that we can't be right for everyone or in fact most. What counts is if they are good for you and if they are, that means they will and want to accept you the way you are.
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A narcissistic and a racist? Such noble qualities. NOT. I like the writing.
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Superbe histoire 
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Written by a beautiful woman happy and delighted for you ....your beauty shines like a beacon never ever let anyone say otherwise xxxx
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Written by a beautiful woman happy and delighted for you ....your beauty shines like a beacon never ever let anyone say otherwise xxxx
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It's sad when a man mistreats a woman. I try to worship and please a woman who would find time to spend with me. I appreciate her, & there is no ugliness when we are together. I'm glad you found someone who cherishes you !!!
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Every curve on a female's body is a curve of a masterpiece that should be cherished with grace. I am happy for you and that you happen to meet someone to remind you of that...
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There is no such thing as "being perfect", and that makes us, wimmin all perfect... For someone......  i am happy for you, that you found a great guy, who wants to spend time with you, and make you heal from that narcistic bastard! Makes you feel good about yourself again!
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Yes! never believe a man when he says you are not beautiful! You are! Well, not only you, but everybody is. And anyone who wants to make us feel otherwise is to be ignored and forgotten. Stay as you are, and get better at it!  When you come to a fork in the road, take it. __Yogi Berra
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Awesome, enjoy the moments and be open to vanilla as your new kink! 😄
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I missed reading your posts! Sometimes it just takes that one person to lift the spirit and let the inner soul fly Missed you too
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I'm happy for you, good luck and congratulations! I imagine that you must already be preparing all those delicious things for the holidays!!!
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Superbe histoire
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It's sad when a man mistreats a woman. I try to worship and please a woman who would find time to spend with me. I appreciate her, & there is no ugliness when we are together. I'm glad you found someone who cherishes you !!!
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Every curve on a female's body is a curve of a masterpiece that should be cherished with grace. I am happy for you and that you happen to meet someone to remind you of that...
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There is no such thing as "being perfect", and that makes us, wimmin all perfect... For someone...... i am happy for you, that you found a great guy, who wants to spend time with you, and make you heal from that narcistic bastard! Makes you feel good about yourself again! 
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The holiday season can be very depressing for some, as we reflect upon times with those who are here only in spirit. I myself was going through a family photo album this past weekend when it struck me that only myself and two others in all of those photos were still alive. The best thing you can do for yourself is to (A) exclude the toxic people from your life; ( resume an activity that you are good at, as success is empowering; and (C) enjoy being with someone new who appreciates you and who makes you happy.
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You have to be satisfied with yourself, before you can be fully satisfied when you are with another person. Leave self-doubts about body image at the door and trust what your partner sees in you.
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Awesome, enjoy the moments and be open to vanilla as your new kink! 😄
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