4244 posts 12/22/2022 4:07 am
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Selfish Actually
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5764 posts 12/22/2022 4:12 am |
Codependency - the habit of gaining your self-worth from pleasing others, in a nutshell.
Now, I choose to be selfless for all the right reasons, and selfish, for all the right reasons too.
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3125 posts 12/22/2022 4:15 am |
  
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4163 posts 12/22/2022 4:25 am |
we are very selfish beings...some more then others!
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26111 posts 12/22/2022 6:46 am |
I suppose I never thought of it in that manner.......
ExNameForUse replies on 12/23/2022 7:44 am:
It is not a rule, of course. It is not always about us, as it is not always about others.
When I tried to distinguish those, it came to a feeling about what I have been doing... and now I know that whenever it has been done for selfish reasons, I didn't feel happy completely doing so... cause my motives were ultimately wrong... though when I did something nice, good, kind or loving and the feeling was exactly the same, I know now I did it for that exact reason which is the only valid. |
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90348 posts 12/22/2022 10:18 am |
Ex
This is a very thoughtful statement and true! We do help othera because it gives us pleasure too!
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw
Jenny
ExNameForUse replies on 12/23/2022 7:47 am:
Yes, we do, Jenny. I love doing nice kind things for those I love. Yet, I used to do things for many just for the reason of being accepted and valued, not because I really wanted. And those are not the right reasons. I think it is about knowing your own worth and not having the need for people pleasing as a tool for gaining a kind of acceptance. |
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4163 posts 12/22/2022 7:18 pm |
& it’s ok to be lil selfish!
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722 posts 12/22/2022 8:00 pm |
I feel seen.
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
__Yogi Berra
ExNameForUse replies on 12/23/2022 7:48 am:
Something to think about, then.... |
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380 posts 12/22/2022 10:40 pm |
That’s interesting 🤔
Learning to say no to others, can be healthy.
Learning to say yes for yourself, also healthy.
Just gotta find that proper mix.
I really like that accompanying art piece!
ExNameForUse replies on 12/23/2022 7:50 am:
It is most of the time about finding the right balance in what we do compared to why we do it and what our real motives are. Being true to ourselves first.
That pic is just gorgeous, glad you like it  |
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12/23/2022 7:43 am
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Clear boundaries and expectations are essential
ExNameForUse replies on 12/23/2022 7:54 am:
Yes, they are. Though some of us do have a problem with setting genuine boundaries and defining true expectations. Or at least clearly expressing those. |
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134 posts 1/2/2023 5:19 am |
Life is continuous learning. It's easy for women to fall in the trap of wanting to please to be respected, loved and sometime even accepted to even exist. Our society still promotes that image strongly.
Every human has an ego and as long as we let it run our life it will turn everything we do into a self serving activity, even if the outside image seems the opposite. Awareness helps us to recognize these things and to change the intention behind it. And then very beautiful things can happen.
I'm very happy for your discovery and your new found self love. You deserve it.
ExNameForUse replies on 1/3/2023 6:20 am:
I still have a lot to learn. Every day I am finding out how little I know about others, especially those I considered my closest ones.
I am still far from what and where I sholud be.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, sletje 😊 |
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134 posts 1/2/2023 5:26 am |
I would add that there is being selfish and being loving to ourself. They are not the same thing at all, although often getting mixed up. Our language has unfortunately made love into a commodity that is used for many things interchangeably. In its true meaning it is one of the highest goods humans are able to experience.
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