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Traits Narcissists Look for in Their Victims This post is only viewable by Alternative Lifestyle Singles members. Join Alternative Lifestyle Singles now! |
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The thing is, you can have this kind of a relationship with anyone… your parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, boss, even with your kids… it doesn’t have to be only a romantic relationship, though they say it is the most devastating… and that is why I keep posting about it and will do as long as I feel the need to. It is my way of journaling my own progress, my own way out of that cycle, being a daughter of an abusive toxic mother, sister of the same kind of brother, and married for 20 years with the same kind of now ex-husband. So, I am posting this for me, and because of me, to keep myself in the present time, and focused on what’s important for me at this point in time. In all posts, there is a bit of me. I am recognizing what I have been doing, and how I kept myself trapped in that ill cycle. I won’t tell anyone how this can be in a D/s dynamic. We are all grown-ups, and we all need to use our own brains to think. And conclude. And recognize if there are patterns of certain kinds of behavior. It is the job everyone should do on their own, without me or anyone telling you how it should be in your relationship. Because only you know that. If only one person finds these articles valuable, the way I found them for me, they have their full purpose. If not, they still mean a lot to me, as they are helping me to understand, accept, to learn, and move on. We don’t have to debate, we don’t have to make some kind of philosophy of this, and we don’t even have to comment… it is here for those who need to read it, as many simply don’t know how to find things to read and psychotherapy is not available for everyone. Take care and stay safe. Your Ex
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These types of relationships take all forms.
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The thing is, you can have this kind of a relationship with anyone… your parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, boss, even with your kids… it doesn’t have to be only a romantic relationship, though they say it is the most devastating… and that is why I keep posting about it and will do as long as I feel the need to. It is my way of journaling my own progress, my own way out of that cycle, being a daughter of an abusive toxic mother, sister of the same kind of brother, and married for 20 years with the same kind of now ex-husband. So, I am posting this for me, and because of me, to keep myself in the present time, and focused on what’s important for me at this point in time. In all posts, there is a bit of me. I am recognizing what I have been doing, and how I kept myself trapped in that ill cycle. I won’t tell anyone how this can be in a D/s dynamic. We are all grown-ups, and we all need to use our own brains to think. And conclude. And recognize if there are patterns of certain kinds of behavior. It is the job everyone should do on their own, without me or anyone telling you how it should be in your relationship. Because only you know that. If only one person finds these articles valuable, the way I found them for me, they have their full purpose. If not, they still mean a lot to me, as they are helping me to understand, accept, to learn, and move on. We don’t have to debate, we don’t have to make some kind of philosophy of this, and we don’t even have to comment… it is here for those who need to read it, as many simply don’t know how to find things to read and psychotherapy is not available for everyone. Take care and stay safe. Your Ex
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ExName, A Great post again! It remeinded my of a girlfriend of mine, who was, for a very long - too long - time in a relation with a narcistic person. It brings tears to my eyes, to read, exactly this, what she told me about. It fits like a glove! Their character traits and the traits of their victims, too It is like reading her story, all over again. He did break her , in the end, but that was also the moment that she had (finally) the power to get out of that destructive relation. It took her years to get over all the mental abuse and pysical abuse Later on, i heard, her mother is someone with these character traits too... .Toxic family. She does not want to confron that part of her past.... so is alway mentally sick, after visiting her mother..... Soo sad....
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1 post 5/15/2023 12:23 pm |
My ex wife was like this. It took me a long time to get out but I couldn't leave our children with her. The last ten years I grey rocked her & rarely showed any emotion when dealing with her. If you want to find the nicest long term partners you can do a lot worse than visit a narcissist victim support group, though you might also find a narcissist or two there posing as victims and trolling for their next source of supply.
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Oh, and the mother of that Chinese family has this traits too. Totally deaf to the needs and wants of her children, most problably, her husband too. it is always, all about her, When she is in the middle of the attention, she acts real nice and agreeable. Uses emotions to get her way, manipulate everyone... Or at least tries to.... Nasty piece of .....
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Hello ENFU, Very interesting contribution ... and you know first hand what you are talking about, given your own painful experience in an environment from which you could not escape, as if it were destined for you, dear. I feel sorry for you and am sorry you had to endure this Calvary. Well, at last you have been able to get rid of these shackles and you can now contribute to help and warn others. And indeed if you can free 1 person with it under such a yoke, then your mission has already been successful. In your personal text you are extremely modest and almost apologetic to the reader, as if asking for approval to help others with your contributions. Know that you are not attacking anyone, but helping and therefore have no accountability for your contributions, in which you invest your time helping others. Bravo Lady and...Stay true to yourself! Sincerely and best of luck with your contributions, Dom J PS: Especially now we live in an age of EGO-TRIPPERS + NARCISTS + arrogant KIT-IN-KNOWS.
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Hm...all good points & info Ex you heal your way on your own terms & time frame it takes time to rethink reprogram retrain rethink yourself from then abuse you are not the problem they were you are good person & you deserve good things & happiness! but being a DOMinate is narcissitic in nature some are more severe then others but the sociopathic pediphiles serial molesters murders all work under those same guidelines as well!
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I think your talking about extreme cases... Someone can be a narcissistic without coming off as a preditor or worse..Ted bundy...
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Exname i too, did cut all contact with that person, others call mother. She is al gone now, for some years... I always needed at least two or three days to get myself together again after i visited her. Depending on how long i stayed in her company Crazy! To friends of mine, she was always ever soo nice and charming, nobody ever believed my stories about how she really was.
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Dear ENFU, Thanks for your personal time in giving everyone a private comment. You are 1 of those amazing bloggers who take interest and pride in the comments you receive from all of us who read your contributions. I could never bring myself to do this and for that reason, I admire you as well as for the fact that you came out stronger after your ordeal: I don't pitty you now, but for the time you had to endure such a poisoned environment. And this is indeed more common than one thinks. Rotten apples can be found everywhere in abundance! I remember when my ex came from visiting her mother, I had to endure and to listen during a whole week the repercussions of that visit from her to her mom, recharged with the toxic load of venom and accusations and frustrations of me being no good partner material, me too little ambition, a too low degree, to lazy...etc.....And this game repeated it self by every visit over +over again. Anyway, like you, and like Rosaenaluin, mothers or mother-in-law from hell, arrogant, and feeling superior and wanting to sabotage her daughter's + my relationship by every visit that took place: a real toxic egocentric bitch with indeed 2 faces when it comes too her hypocritical character of 2 measures, 2 weights behavior (“double standards“). My ex admitted the toxic nature of her mom since early childhood as a 5 year old toddler and the constant bullying of her own daughter, while her son could never do anything wrong and was in her head an angel and a holy gift of God himself. This lovely son is indeed a civil engineer, but weighs almost 200kg for 1m70cm length. Anyway those rotten apples do a lot of damages to others to be or to become the center of attention and to impose their ego persona to get all their way for the self-kicks. And you, ENFU, are an intelligent and balanced female ...an asset for ALT and its members. But feel free if you have an other opinon, dear! Greetz
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ENFU, If I see what you produce here and the workload that is required and getting in your Blog, then you deserve every word of credit, encouragement and praise. You are just too modest, but it suits you. Hahaha...I had to laugh with your remark about your mom from hell, running after you with those menacing scissors.....but I believe you .....and that her intentions were not to cut your hair for sure, like going to your hairdresser for 10 years to relax and have a party. She seems to be a real psychopate if I have to go on your stories. Cut all ties was the best you could do to have some peace of mind. Are this your legs on your profile pic? Greetz and have a nice Saturday too.....and a nice party .....don't let the hairdresser cut too much hair......I adore females with thick long hair....and also bushy hair between the legs....just telling you,...and not trying to insult or degrade your efforts here. Dom J.
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ENFU, Did I touch a sensitive cord? Thanks for the feedback. I can understand that putting your own good advice into practice is not always easy and realizable when we are hypersensitive. Much acclaim and continuity with your Blog, regards
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