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Closure and Letting Go This post is only viewable by Alternative Lifestyle Singles members. Join Alternative Lifestyle Singles now! |
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I was lucky that I got mine, and I am forever grateful to the person who gave it to me. It has set me free.
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closure is needed in order to move on as well can help you learn things about yourself to improve on for the next person & relationship unfortunately most don’t ever get personal closure from the other why it’s important to forgive & let go try to reason it out internally in order to move on! hope your weekend was pleasant girl?!
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Nicely put, Ex...really quite eloquent...and unmistakably heartfelt. You seem to have indented the requisite five spaces and to have begun to "write" the next--the best and most rewarding--chapter of your life. Below is a poem by Linda Pastan that I think, for some reason, you might enjoy: “In Back Of” “I’m looking for things back of remarks that are said . . . ” –William Stafford In back of “I love you” stands “goodbye.” In back of “goodbye” stands “it was lovely there in the grass, drenched in so much green together.” Words that wait are dark as shadows in the back rooms of mirrors: when you raise your right hand in greeting, they raise their left in farewell.
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"Life is a train, not a train station." That is so true.
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I use to need closure conversations -- I "needed" to understand why. I've since learned it really doesn't matter. There's a stage of personal growth and maturity where we come to realize that some things just aren't meant to be. The real lesson is in discerning when they actually occur and then having the courage to accept and choose to move on (yes, there's an element of choice). Today I find it so much easier just to say "thank you" and move on. While I occasionally need to be reminded of the lesson of acceptance (of what is) -- I find it gets easier the more it is practiced. Thank you for your post and its gentle reminder. "shaped by life, experiences, choices and one day by He who she will come to know as her Master"
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The best way to get closure is to leave the station and get back on the train. As the train starts to move find a comfortable seat by the window and breathe.
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I've yearned for that closure once upon a time. Yes, it sounds like a fairy tale and turns out it really is that elusive dream that keeps one awake at night. Until I awoke to the reality of life I couldn't move forward.
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About 35 years ago, I had two dates with a young lady, who, on the second date, was very hostile to me. Now, I'd had bad dates before, but generally don't elicit open hostility. Moreover, if she had hated me on the first date, why accept a second one? Anyway, I was puzzled by it, but just wrote it off to one of life's mysteries. Twenty years later, a gay lady friend of mine was at a Caribbean resort and went to a meet-up for gay visitors. She starts a conversation with another woman, and, to make a long story short, was this girl I'd dated. The girl tells my friend that she'd always felt guilty about treating me badly, but she had been in the process of "coming out" and had no use for men at that time. Not that it was a big deal, but it closed that little mystery of the past.
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The key to success in this world is to be able to continue to move forward no matter what it throws at you, helping others along the way
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“I had. You only get confirmation that you don't really matter.” Good point Ex. As some above, there was a time when I thought I needed "closure" and to know why... sadly, as I read in a meme once, why may just be that you made a bad decision. I have learned that frankly, I don't care the *why* anymore and no longer need any type of closure. I turn the page and move one, sometimes quicker than others, but in the end, I accept that I cannot hold others to my standards, and not everyone deserves to be in my orbit.  Ars longa, vita brevis - Art is long, life is short  
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Ex This is another terrific wise post! Closure can be hard to get , and sadly, reminders of the Past can re- appear! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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This is one of my very favorite quotes on "Closure" "Closure" is a joke. The only apology you need is the one you owe yourself for being foolish enough to stay as long as you did. The only conversation you need to have is the one with yourself on how to be stronger and leave sooner. The only person you really need to see again is yourself. Before you get all weak, look at yourself in the mirror and say "You know what, I fucked up." That's your closure. And all that can be done by yourself. You can't keep dancing with the devil and wondering why you're still in Hell… "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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glad you are free! as you say, life is short and a journey. and you have us all here as friends to help you as you go!
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@aliljaded -- your comment is bang on. Thank you "shaped by life, experiences, choices and one day by He who she will come to know as her Master"
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