Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > Dave54321 > My Blog |
|
No Time to Spy... Or chat up the enemy. Blog in the comments to avoid the naughty word stealing Alt monkeys. |
||||
6/5/2022 12:25 pm |
Now what is Russia up too?
| |||
|
No Time to Spy… or chat up the enemy “Ah, morning Commander Bond,” said M. “Do sit down. A cup of camomile tea?” “Actually, Sir, I’ve had a hard morning ungluing climate change activists from my Aston Martin. Could I have something stronger?” “No can do, 007. Drinking during office hours is strictly verboten these days. I’d have HR down on me like a tonne of bricks. And are you still driving that Aston Martin? We’ll have to see about that. Gas guzzlers aren’t a good look for the Secret Service, we’ve got to set an example dontcha you know.” “Surely, Sir, you don’t expect me to drive a Tesla?” “I was think more about one of those electric scooter Johnnies. Easy to nip around on when Extreme Rebellion brings the city to a halt. Now, we’ve had a complaint. Says you’ve been chatting up one of their spokespeople when you were sent out to arrest her.” “I was only doing what I always do, Sir, seducing the enemy to get them to reveal their secrets. She was top totty, too.” “Sexist language, Commander, you’ve been warned about that before.” “Moneypenny never objected.” Yes, well Moneypenny recently decided she wanted to be a globe-trotting spy too and now she’s transitioning.” “She’s what, Sir?” “She, I mean he, is turning into a man.” “Remarkable, Sir. Now, what’s my next mission this time? Taking on the Russians? Chinese? SMERSH?” “Certainly not, 007, we don’t have the resources to do that sort of thing any more. No, I want you to infiltrate a Facebook group and route out hate speech.” “Hate what, Sir?” “Hate speech. You know, when one Johnnie doesn’t agree with what another Johnnie is saying. Or says that he can’t be a real Johnnie because he was born a Joannie. Or vice versa.” “I’m beginning to feel nostalgic for the Cold War, Sir. At least you knew who the enemy was back then.” “That’s the second time you’ve used the word ‘enemy,’ Bond. Please don’t do it again. These days we prefer ‘alternatively minded’.” “But what about the evil dictators with global domination in mind, Sir? What do we call them?” “Future allies, Bond. Have you learned nothing from Tony Blair? That man made a multi-million fortune from sucking up to future allies. That Cameron Johnnie tried it too, but not with as much success.” “Really, Sir, I’m not sure I’m cut out for this game any more. I became a spy because I wanted to travel the globe and make love to beautiful women while serving my country. Is that so very wrong?” “Serving your country, Bond? What an extraordinary idea! How very quaint. That’s almost as old-fashioned as you are.” Virginia Blackburn.
| |||
|
Dave LMAO !  This is priceless! Thanks for sharing  A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
| |||
|
love it lol
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
×
×