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My struggle I have been struggling for a while now trying to find a balance between this life and vanilla. For me this life and this site has often fallen into escapism, a way to close my eyes and become someone else. Perhaps it is because my own life is lacking, and perhaps it has been something more a deeper need that I don’t fully understand. For the longest time I have been ok with it. I was able to bend it to fit me and the needs at the time, but it has slowly diminished and have left me feeling unfulfilled. I spoke with someone over the weekend where I had mentioned that my submissive nature is hard to talk about, hard to articulate what I want and he agreed. So I am stuck with the why. Why is it so hard? Why should it be a struggle? It is something that I really want for myself, so why not reach out and take it? Somehow I made a connection on here, one that was unexpected and surprising, for it pinched me from the imaginative world to reality. For the first time I could see this person fitting into both my worlds and it has thrown me. Everything seems messy where before it was tucked away into neat boxes, and I’m missing those boxes. Perhaps if the connection ran both ways I would be more courageous....maybe. So my fucked up struggle is real, and if you have read this to the end then perhaps you have made some kind of connection to my words. I am in awe of most of you. I love reading about and seeing the connection you have made. I love that you have embraced what ever role you are and have ran with it. I think you for letting me live vicariously through you. As always, take care of one another, be kind, show compassion, find the love around you. Lisa Mac Xoxo |
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very well writen i would love to chat with you more on this subject carguy6966 on kik if u like to
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Young lady, just be who you are in whatever situation you are in socially. You don't have to reveal your kinky elements ( a generic classification) to just anyone. And, you don't have to reveal all those elements to anyone in this so called lifestyle. I always maintain, a potential partner for a submissive reveals him/her self to the submissive.. who selects him or her partner. Remember, submission is a active verb. Of course the feeling have to be mutual for it to work. You select now days for just plain safely and practical reasons to avoid the asshats. Relationships evolve. You can feel more or less submissive toward anyone in the first place . That can change over time. You are not the first person to struggle with who you are. It is not uncommon for gay.lesbian to admit to themselves. The same applies to ones submissive or dominant elements. Part of that is just natural as we grow and age and develop our personality and we gain life experience in relationships. What was satisfying to a degree in vanilla, become boring and similar can happen in a /s relationship. You may or may not enjoy a given activity or the way you interact with your partner(s). I myself have struggled in my early years. And, I still don't blab to everyone what I am into and the kind of relationships I would engage in. When you find a potential partner who interests you and it brings out what you may sometimes fear. remember what Roosevelt once said when running for office. I paraphrase, the only thing we Have to fear is fear Itself. Never worry about having to accommodate people who you are not going to have an intimate relationship with. don't fear who you are as a submissive. But to be practical in pursuing a relationship; make sure you are safe in what you do and who you interact with. Best to you. You are and will be fine. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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❤️❤️❤️
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lisamac DD gave an excellent answer! Many her are in the closet (me too) but this place allows us to express our true desires.... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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I believe even if we are "out" as in on this website there is another side to us. Human beings have so many facets and that's what makes all of us unique.
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2/16/2021 11:30 am |
I fully embrace and accept who I am, but I also have to interact in the vanilla world and be discreet about this one. Everyone doesn't have to know. When you have the right man. You'll have everything that you desire.
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I totally understand what you mean and your emotions are familiar to me, albeit from the other end of the perspective. We really should chat...
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I think DancingDom gives good advice. While you mention being in awe of many people on here, I think there is also a lot of people like yourself searching for what they need. All the best in your search.
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We all have fucked up struggles my dear. One should be glad that one can come here and find solace with other like minded people. For it is harder than one thinks to find those whose thoughts travel the same paths. You my sweet have it all with your beauty and perverse thought. Never underestimate how unique or exciting you are.
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