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LilliTroy 59G
10 posts
1/28/2021 1:14 pm
A spot-on prediction.


SERIOUSLY... READ THE FIRST POST ON THE THREAD RATHER THAN THE MONKEYED GIBBERISH THIS BIT HAS BEEN ALT'ed !

I have been browsing site a bit during various lockdowns. Just killing time. It struck me that I had seen something that Troy wrote waaaay back and rooted it out. Here it and subjects touches are pretty much reason why community this site is now so neglected and why many of us have opted or are opting out.

SICK COMMUNITY SYNDROME
When people with a shared raft of interests gather together – either in person or online – they form a community. This can be deliberately so or it can evolve. When that raft of shared interests is comprised of a segregated part of their life which they don’t broadcast but keep to within a discreet circle, then the sea on which the raft floats is perilous and even the slightest agitation or sabotage can cause catastrophe which is way out of proportion to the act.

Take, for example, doxing. In many countries, this practice now falls under harassment, intimidation and/or stalking laws. Recently, it was asserted that ‘implied authority’ would be a defence. ‘Implied authority’ would be, for example, the owner of a website seeking to find out more about a member of the website from other sources in order to ‘protect their website’. It hasn’t been successful as a defence yet. But ‘Implied authority’ has to be the result of a reasonable belief. There has to be a material stake in the question. Chatting to someone in a chatroom or forum does not imply any consent to rummage around for details they have not offered. I have seen so many examples in recent of people proudly claiming have doxed someone who has offended them, rejected them or just ghosted. Most of the time, it is just a boastful claim. Sometimes, they have gathered a wad of incorrect or mostly incorrect data. Rarely, they have been accurate.

what end? threaten the object of their stalking. intimidate them into leaving the chatroom or forum or to act in a way the stalker wishes. This, of course, is blackmail. Interestingly, it has been held in several cases that hiding behind a username in a board as being anonymous target. Under many laws, that makes way more serious.

So if some buddy wants get you involved in doxing, just decline. You would be doing yourself a favour by being bigger person and shrugging other party off – and could well avoid a court case where your private life widely reported.

Of course, that’s not form of bullying or harassment online. most common trolling. We know basically what – but why a different matter. Trolling a perversion. Possibly even a kin We know mantra of ‘your kink not my kink’ and this is where applies hugely. Trolling based psychological sadism – troll becoming aroused or gratified by thought that they may have angered or caused discomfort another. For some, they will feel the rush of having ‘power’; the power irritate.

Whilst they may feel these things are acceptable, it’s worth pointing out both the majority circumstance and the majority consequence. The former that trolling routinely carried out as a substitute for their proclaimed kin No matter how wonderful they claim their life be, a tissue used in their frustration. Figuratively. I think I have met, since 1983, more than thousand dominants and sadists in person. Those having their sexual needs met – even in part – are generally well-balanced and sociable. They don’t form the core of trolls… that is made of fantasists and frustrated. majority consequence? That bit pretty obvious. People see through bluster easily enough and dawns them that the troll getting their kink rocks off involving a third party who has not consented.

Consent important. ’s also indicative of nature of troll. If they are going bypass consent get gratification online, then of course their standards allow them do in person. This is why trolls don’t have fantastic life with a harem that they project. Because their sociopathic power trips cannot sustain that life.

[ - I missed out the case studies. For brevity. Lilli]

Interacting within a community – particularly when aspects of it are predatory – can be a minefield. There is a huge amount of pressure newcomers don protective armour of ‘ of experience’ just so they aren’t constantly targeted by others seeking cow, intimidate or hoodwink them. That behaviour counter-productive as means everyone ends not actually bonding honestly, but banding together in a dungeon of delusion that feeds on itself and inaccuracy. The more that people seek to attack and deride others instead of relying on their own objective merits, the further they get from a balance and consensual satisfaction.
Remembering little bits of common sense is important. If you ask someone what they do in RL and they are vague or don’t answer… don’t press them or get annoyed that they don’t answer all your questions. Stop asking. You are creating the very problem.
As doms crowd the watering hole where the submissives seek to quench their first, be the hunter with skill and credit. Be the fastest and the best – but don’t pretend you have a machine gun.
The balanced dominant or sadist, masochist or submissive often has a far better understanding of themselves and others than they would take credit for. They enjoy the BDSM communes online and don’t seek to force their opinions about RL or another person on others.

That’s because they understand the notion of respect – which applies to all these groups. When you are in a minority of the population, where books such as the DSM-5 in the US are decades behind Europe and indicate you have a disorder, where your opportunity to share your thoughts and feelings with a like mind are preciously rare… you would need to be intensely sociopathic not to respect those opportunities.

Intense Sociopathy IS a disorder.

[Missed out the next pages too. I think this extract pretty much said it all, based on what I’ve seen here. Written by Troy in 2003. Not sure where it was originally published. Could have been usenet or something. Resides in the house manual which I was allowed to keep.
I don’t blog here. I used to. Under the name Exhibitibi. If I should ever return to active kink and blogging then it won’t be in a place suffering Sick Community Syndrome

Lilli
X ]

LilliTroy 59G
52 posts
1/28/2021 1:17 pm

Gratuitous first post repeat:

I have been browsing the site a bit during various lockdowns. Just killing time. It struck me that I had seen something that Troy wrote waaaay back and rooted it out. Here it is and the subjects it touches on are pretty much the reason why the community on this site is now so neglected and why many of us have opted or are opting out.
SICK COMMUNITY SYNDROME
When people with a shared raft of interests gather together – either in person or online – they form a community. This can be deliberately so or it can evolve. When that raft of shared interests is comprised of a segregated part of their life which they don’t broadcast but keep to within a discreet circle, then the sea on which the raft floats is perilous and even the slightest agitation or sabotage can cause catastrophe which is way out of proportion to the act.

Take, for example, doxing. In many countries, this practice now falls under harassment, intimidation and/or stalking laws. Recently, it was asserted that ‘implied authority’ would be a defence. ‘Implied authority’ would be, for example, the owner of a website seeking to find out more about a member of the website from other sources in order to ‘protect their website’. It hasn’t been successful as a defence yet. But ‘Implied authority’ has to be the result of a reasonable belief. There has to be a material stake in the question. Chatting to someone in a chatroom or forum does not imply any consent to rummage around for details they have not offered. I have seen so many examples in recent years of people proudly claiming to have doxed someone who has offended them, rejected them or just ghosted. Most of the time, it is just a boastful claim. Sometimes, they have gathered a wad of incorrect or mostly incorrect data. Rarely, they have been accurate.

To what end? To threaten the object of their stalking. To intimidate them into leaving the chatroom or forum or to act in a way the stalker wishes. This, of course, is blackmail. Interestingly, it has been held in several cases that hiding behind a username in a message board is the same as being anonymous to the target. Under many laws, that makes it way more serious.

So if some buddy wants to get you involved in doxing, just decline. You would be doing yourself a favour by being the bigger person and shrugging the other party off – and could well avoid a court case where your private life is widely reported.

Of course, that’s not the only form of bullying or harassment online. The most common is trolling. We all know basically what it is – but the why is a different matter. Trolling is a perversion. Possibly even a kink. We all know the mantra of ‘your kink is not my kink’ and this is where it applies hugely. Trolling is based on psychological sadism – the troll becoming aroused or gratified by the thought that they may have angered or caused discomfort to another. For some, they will feel the rush of having ‘power’; the power to irritate.

Whilst they may feel these things are acceptable, it’s worth pointing out both the majority circumstance and the majority consequence. The former is that trolling is routinely carried out as a substitute for their proclaimed kink. No matter how wonderful they claim their life to be, it is a tissue used in their frustration. Figuratively. I think I have met, since 1983, more than two thousand dominants and sadists in person. Those having their sexual needs met – even in part – are generally well-balanced and sociable. They don’t form the core of trolls… that is made up of the fantasists and frustrated. The majority consequence? That bit is pretty obvious. People see through the bluster easily enough and it dawns on them that the troll is getting their kink rocks off involving a third party who has not consented.

Consent is important. It’s also indicative of the nature of the troll. If they are going to bypass consent to get gratification online, then of course their standards allow them to do it in person. This is why trolls don’t have the fantastic life with a harem that they project. Because their sociopathic power trips cannot sustain that life.



Interacting within a community – particularly when aspects of it are predatory – can be a minefield. There is a huge amount of pressure on newcomers to don the protective armour of ‘years of experience’ just so they aren’t constantly targeted by others seeking to cow, intimidate or hoodwink them. That behaviour is counter-productive as it means everyone ends up not actually bonding honestly, but banding together in a dungeon of delusion that feeds on itself and inaccuracy. The more that people seek to attack and deride others instead of relying on their own objective merits, the further they get from a balance and consensual satisfaction.
Remembering little bits of common sense is important. If you ask someone what they do in RL and they are vague or don’t answer… don’t press them or get annoyed that they don’t answer all your questions. Stop asking. You are creating the very problem.
As doms crowd the watering hole where the submissives seek to quench their first, be the hunter with skill and credit. Be the fastest and the best – but don’t pretend you have a machine gun.
The balanced dominant or sadist, masochist or submissive often has a far better understanding of themselves and others than they would take credit for. They enjoy the BDSM communes online and don’t seek to force their opinions about RL or another person on others.

That’s because they understand the notion of respect – which applies to all these groups. When you are in a minority of the population, where books such as the DSM-5 in the US are decades behind Europe and indicate you have a disorder, where your opportunity to share your thoughts and feelings with a like mind are preciously rare… you would need to be intensely sociopathic not to respect those opportunities.

Intense Sociopathy IS a disorder.

[Missed out the next pages too. I think this extract pretty much said it all, based on what I’ve seen here. Written by Troy in 2003. Not sure where it was originally published. Could have been usenet or something. Resides in the house manual which I was allowed to keep.
I don’t blog here. I used to. Under the name Exhibitibi. If I should ever return to active kink and blogging then it won’t be in a place suffering Sick Community Syndrome

Lilli
X ]


DancingDom 74M
22592 posts
1/28/2021 1:50 pm

Great post. Thankfully, I happened to come on the site in mid afternoon and saw it listed on the front page.

These days, I find it hard to come with anything to post about all of this. Not a whole lot of membership on this site really give a darn about learning about anything. Certainly not about integrity, honesty or responsibility.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


LilliTroy replies on 1/28/2021 4:54 pm:
Those things you care about there? They are essential for BDSM to continue as a consensual choice rather than an imposed abuse.

I like to think that others care about them too. One day, such standards will be the aim once more.

daddy_2_fuck_u 64M

1/28/2021 2:49 pm

Interesting post, thanks


drmgirl622 68F  
26122 posts
1/28/2021 2:49 pm

So very interesting ! Good to see you, Lilli


LilliTroy replies on 1/28/2021 4:50 pm:
And to see you- albeit so briefly!

Nsa2tie 68M  
640 posts
1/28/2021 3:20 pm

I thought I recognised the writing style. It's good to see you not officially visiting again.

With respect to the DSM, Jon Ronson's book the 'Psychopath Test' is entertaining and instructive. There is a point where he writes that he reads DSM-IV, then:
"I closed the manual.
'I wonder if I've got any of the 374 mental disorders?' I thought
I opened the manual again.
And I instantly diagnosed myself with 12 different ones"


That kind of ambivalence illustrates the problems in a positive diagnosis quite nicely. He also comes up with a negative test "If you've ever worried that you may be a sociopath then the chances are that you are not".

Those that I 'worry' about most on BDSM sites show a comprehensive cross section of the classic extremely antisocial behaviour traits described in the DSM. Most of my worry would be for the people who seem to be in abusive relationships with the sociopath.

The abusers, on the other hand, have never worried that they maybe a sociopath.


LilliTroy replies on 1/28/2021 4:50 pm:
Unfortunately, Troy isn't around to wax lyrical about the DSM shortcomings. That stuff is a bit beyond me and most of the post is a paste of the thing he wrote years ago.

DrDoppler 67M
80 posts
1/29/2021 12:22 am

Eloquently analysed and presented. As more and more people died to leave this stagnant muddy pond to find fresh, clean waters, it seems the percentage of the types of people to whom Troy refers goes up.

But it's good to see you sidling in to dip a toe in the murky depths!


LilliTroy replies on 1/29/2021 1:03 am:
I think think 'stagnant, muddy pond' is a better description of this watering hole

Lilli
x

NoNonsense_Dom 70M  
1539 posts
2/12/2021 3:55 pm

Lilli I vaguely remember reading a lot of this from Troy about 8 years ago, and your further discussion about it under Exhibitibi. It was way back before your rather informative phase of blogging, about such things Sadism. It was your very sexy photos that got me to your blog, and I am so pleased it did, because I have valued all of your posts on various subjects. I even got to follow you at that other place where you posted photos and videos. which I loved visiting.

Yours, and Troy's posts have always been interesting and thought provoking, and for most part, I have agreed with everything that was posted. Something that I miss, because it was from like minded people who shared an interest in this kink community. These posts often caused me to reflect upon my own circumstances and situations, which is a way of continual improvement and development, and very enlightening.


LilliTroy replies on 2/13/2021 1:33 pm:
Thank you, High-speed NND.

I am glad you enjoyed my previous work and that you felt benefit from it (and my all-too-often quotes from Troy)

When he founded the house that bears his name, it was with the intention of learning and allowing others to learn, discover and be better able to follow their chosen kink path. I believe it has always successfully done so and I miss being part of it.

Online forums where ideas can be shared and dissected, discoveries laid open for others to explore, and valuable insights explained so that all could examine and apply them are invaluable to all iterations of BDSM. Whilst I wish I could do more, it is no longer possible.

But enjoy your ongoing enlightenment - and share where you can.

Lilli
x

DancingDom 74M
22592 posts
11/4/2021 5:05 am

Just thought I would say hello. I miss postings by either of you.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


DancingDom 74M
22592 posts
5/10/2023 11:59 am

Pretty sure you are not active on alt or on that ot6her place. I have not been so active myself. But I sure miss your writing. Actually I just miss you.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


LilliTroy replies on 2/3/2024 5:51 pm:
Well, I still exist. I may make an appearance in the summer. You never know

NoNonsense_Dom 70M  
1539 posts
3/9/2024 1:28 pm

Lilli I really hope you come back to blog, even in this sick space. Talking with real people who use intelligence and rational thought about this lifestyle is good and always creates the desire for one to have a good hard look at things, both internal and external.

I would love to find out what you have been up to since the last time we chatted.



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