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| Blogs > pac369 > Pulling your own strings... |
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A sub, with a brain, is a terrible thing to waste! See below..  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~ |
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I found out some shit about myself yesterday... First and foremost I am not a traditional sub... I am not just a follower or worshipper to a Dom...Can I be that?? Of course.... with time and trust I can be as loyal as any sub.... But I will not start any relationship just blindly following a Dom. His Dominance and my submission has to be earned.... I also realize I am not a brat... Do I like to push a Dom to see what he's about at the beginning? Well... probably. To see what I can get away with more than anything else. But what I know about myself is this... It's my nature to do this... I do not go out of my way to disrupt or cause mischief for a Dom. Being treated like or acting like a cow or pig absolutely will not work for me.. I do not thrive on humiliation, degradation, and abuse from my Dominant. Nor would I choose to reside in a cage or eat my meals from a bowl on the floor... To constantly feel less than human, but have a Dom who wants to fuck me or pass his critter around.. A domestic sub doesn't work either. I am so much more than just cleaning a house, making dinner, and doing yard work. I did all that with my 4 bedroom house because it was mine! Not because a Dom is ordering me to... What about a kajira or slave girl? Doubtful... To technically give up all my rights... Or not own any property... Mmmmm.. How about "no"... Where I would be expected to render absolute obedience to a Master.. How I could be sold, given away, or loaned out for sexual favors, and never say a word about it... No, no, and just no!! So.... What about a little or baby girl? While aspects of this relationship could be appealing. As a 24/7 dynamic though I could not act like a young girl all the time. And I absolutely do realize these relationships are not pedophilic in nature. Since the public doesn't really get it, Daddy Dom's and littles can suppress their true orientations. Which makes finding others, with similar desires, difficult at best.... And no matter what I will never be a pain slut... Of course I value discipline and appreciate punishment. But I don't get off on pain for pains sake.. Nor do I fit the profile of being sexually promiscuous or desiring extremely masochistic activities is not my style either. So... where do I fit? Out of these examples or the many other types of subs? I honestly don't know? But I know I can still be strong and be a sub. I know I can still call out wrong behavior and be a sub. And I will always know, I can still use my brain and be a sub!! ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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pac it seems you are trying to re-evaluate yourself,a bit like me at the moment. Maybe you can just be content that you can use your brain too well to fit into any drawer..... When you come to a fork in the road, take it. __Yogi Berra
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I know I can still be strong and be a sub. I know I can still call out wrong behavior and be a sub. And I will always know, I can still use my brain and be a sub!! I don't understand the Dominant who'd desire anything less. I don't either, but they're out there. Falls into the "To each their own" category. Make Women Female Again
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4/30/2021 4:09 pm |
It is nice to hear that someone else, besides me, feels this way. All the blogging about "ideal" subs leaves me feeling like there is no niche for me. I want to be involved with a Dom/Domme who understands that I am not a 24/7 submissive/slave, who desires to be owned, humiliated, used, and abused every minute of every day. I do have a life outside of this arena and prefer to keep it that way. Good luck with your search for someone who fits your needs.
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4/30/2021 4:11 pm |
I agree 100% nobody should ever let themselves become an actual slave with no say in anything. Its almost like a cult and people letting themselves lose their freedom is okay. If it goes on long enough there has gotta be permanent damage on their concept of values.
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4/30/2021 4:22 pm |
I agree 100% nobody should ever let themselves become an actual slave with no say in anything. Its almost like a cult and people letting themselves lose their freedom is okay. If it goes on long enough there has gotta be permanent damage on their concept of values. Its awful. Picture your daughter with metal leash around her neck. You would feel sick to your stomach bc nobody can have full control. Even with illusion they are living a real life. They would be losing all confidence in themselves. Its just flat out obvious it shouldnt be happening. Its a toxic way to live
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 Love this, I feel you and agree/can relate to literally every point you just made. Right down to the 4 bedroom house ... although I'm working towards selling that because it's excessive for just a girl and her dog... do I really need 3 bathrooms? LOL I'm not sure what your experiences have been, but because of one or more of those points, I've been told by many "doms" (they don't deserve a capital D) that I'm not a sub, or at the very least less of one. Which is bullshit. We're subs, human beings with brains/needs/dreams and aspirations, not doormats 
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beauty brains & submissive is very good BUT all subs have the quality traits of everything you mentioned in some way another...sub = a sassy ass lil brat bitch fuk slut lil girl back door whore BUT to her DOM not anybody or everybody! every DOM has their own ways kinks soo it’s hard finding the right 24/7 sub into what that DOM is about as well vice versa too...once you do find them NEVER let them go it’s soo hard to replace that bond connection w another! the sub in the beginning has control power BUT after they submit commit to a DOM they relinquish that & have no real power anymore unless hard limits or boundrys are crossed! D/s love connection bond is VERY powerful passionate intense strong more so then any conventional vanilla couple love could ever be!
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4/30/2021 5:39 pm |
Maybe the top/bottom dynamic is a better fit for you and others.
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A submissive is a terrible this to waste. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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4/30/2021 6:19 pm |
When life whispers in your ear, you'll never withstand the storm . . Tell life, you are the storm!
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A sub finds their way when they can relate to a dominant that can hold their attention and not just in a sexual way. I'm a proud woman, such as yourself, and I've come to realize that the relationship between the dominant and submissive is always a work in progress.
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4/30/2021 7:43 pm |
Well here is the deal no matter a Top or a bottom, we are all human with emotions and needs along with desires. One can truly not fulfill their needs and desires with out emotions to guide them. That is where the truest sense of what happens between people is created or left alone. If it is good you will understand it, if it is real you will feel it.
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4/30/2021 10:20 pm |
"I certainly hope I understand and will feel it if it is real!" You will feel it for sure, problem is in order to feel we have to have the ability to hurt and fail. That is the tricky part is knowing when someone is truly worthy of who and what you are. Choose wisely and carefully, those whom you gift your greatest treasure of all to, yourself. If I new just exactly what that looked like or how to see the future, well I would not be here. lol
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Pac, this is so very similar to my post of a week ago... The different factors that go into how we identify ourselves, and the limitations of these labels!
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4/30/2021 11:29 pm |
hot
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4/30/2021 11:29 pm |
kiss
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Wonderful, thought-provoking post, pac. I also question, where do I fit in? I know I'm a strong-willed submissive that has a brain. Most dominants will shy away from strong submissives. But I still believe the is someone for everyone out there. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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I believe we all try to find where we fit in and the person with whom this can work well. And yes many dominants will shy away from a strong sub, but that makes me wonder what their dominance is about. Life is about finding meaning for yourself. And doing that with someone else together is both a challenge and a promise at the same time. We need the interaction with others to learn in life. Doing self reflection can be helpful, but won't be able to show us all there is about ourselves.
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