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| Blogs > pac369 > Pulling your own strings... |
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Some of a Submissives Needs... See Below...  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~ |
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I need to feel safe.... I need to know You accept me for all I am..... I need to have clearly defined limits..... I need You to be consistent.... I need to expand my limits..... I need You to teach me.... I need goals..... I need to be corrected..... I need You to be my role-model..... I need Your approval and reassurance.... I need to be able to express myself..... I need to learn from my mistakes..... I need forgiveness when I fail You..... I need to feel I contribute..... I need to enjoy successes..... I need to share with You..... I need to feel loved, respected, and protected in Your ownership/relationship.... ~Unknown~ If a Dom doesn't do this at a minimum I think it's clear what his intentions are?? There is a huge difference between hooking up, kink, and a relationship... If your not sure as a Dom what you seek?? Maybe read the list again... It tells you all you need to know as far as I am concerned... ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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yes to all of the above in any good relationship and especially between a Dom and sub
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Only one mistress I seen could complete this list. I thought it was me
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5/30/2021 11:28 am |
I would only make two changes for clarification purposes. I need clearly defined HARD limits I need to expand my SOFT limits Once agreed to I personally would never challenge a hard limit that was agreed to
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Great post. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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Thankyou pac. It gives me something to ponder
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That is an excellent list and all very important. I have often wondered if I am offering all that when I indulge into a play session as it was given and taught to me. What a lovely post really as you keep my brain circulating with lofty memories 
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What a lovely post! Summed up all I ever needed... thank you for sharing.
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5/30/2021 1:57 pm |
A very comprehensive list, pac369. One thing I would add, as I believe it to be a serious omission (for me, at least)...is the element of SURPRISE. Both Dom and sub must be able to surprise each other. Not incessantly of course. But without surprise, we all grow stale, and resentment follows over time. Regrettably, I accept that I have failed in this respect in the past. In other ways too, no doubt! Physician, heal thyself....
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"If a Dom doesn't do this at a minimum I think it's clear what his intentions are?? There is a huge difference between hooking up, kink, and a relationship... If your not sure as a Dom what you seek?? Maybe read the list again... It tells you all you need to know as far as I am concerned..." Here Here!
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Completely get this and can only agree.
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Where in WI?
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Each of these are so critical to relationship success.
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pac I hope this is widely read by both dom/mes and subs! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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"And I imagine it would be hard to have this list work for just play sessions?" Your question is on point really and I can say, I have spent months with those I have played with (before playing) so it's never a random type person coming to my home. But yes, your list still applies and I feel it should apply as I am their care giver as well while they are at my home. And at first I thought too, why should I care but I have a masochist that travels to visit me every three months and finally I have realize his trust in me has indeed grown and the sight of him I found utterly beautiful because of his trust. So yes, your list is excellent
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Pac a very good post and I agree, but a couple of things to clarify, for the others. HARD Limits are just that, and they are NOT set by You the dominant. They are set by the submissive. If you don't like them, then that submissive is NOT for you. There are 2 things that I would add to that list, and they are total honesty, and the encouragement to grow and develop, to be nurtured. And that growth is to include you as the dominant. If you the dominant, are not part of that growth, don't be surprised if the submissive out-grows you and starts to look for future circumstances in which to live her/his kinky life. Now coming back to those limits, it is my suggestion that submissives participate in nearly everything at least twice, so that they get a chance to experience what this life has to offer. But I would not expect them to do that, until after they have built a trusting relationship with their dominants, and that plenty of discussion has happened first. Submissives that have had bad experiences in the past, need to talk about this with the dominant, e.g. sweet pain against that of domestic violence. Something we can all relate to. Any dominants that do not want to follow this list art NOT true dominants but predators or pretenders.
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