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| Blogs > pac369 > Pulling your own strings... |
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There is a difference... See below...  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~ |
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Between assertive and aggressive behavior... It was so prevalent to me this morning. I used my phone and logged in to Alt today to check messages and respond to blog comments... Within minutes I have several IM messages... "you want to fuck" I say "How about fucking off" he says "would love to" Huh? WTF is wrong with you? "Are you new to BDSM"? I say "No". "He goes, do you have Hangouts"? I go "Fuck no, goodbye"... Or just the "hello" from the 32 year old couple... "Really"? "How about giving me a break"? I have no interest in people 30 years younger than me.. Then on my message page the assault ( for lack of a better word) continues... "I think your adorable, can we text or chat offsite"? I say "No thanks" Or the messages, yes plural, from the 31 year old who is convinced I should be his sexy, cougar, fuck toy, because I am obviously just missing out on how he could dick me! Are you kidding me?? Or the message that says "I am a beautiful person" Mmmm I doubt that.. I know I don't have to answer these communications. My hope is when I say no they will stop bothering me.. These aggressive communications are just that; aggressive.. They are making demands ( even if done nicely) without listening to me.. They usually don't even say "hello" or "how are you today"... It's like a "bully" type of approach. And I imagine if they do it enough, some sub will eventually be drawn in by this type of approach. The thing to focus on is this... Aggressive behavior or communication doesn't respect others needs, it usually hurts your feelings and does damage to relationships.. Instead of a assertive approach that shows respect for others needs. It is respectful, clear, and firm instructions and communication. Which includes listening to the other person and showing interest or concern. A assertive person or Dom will speak in a calm, direct way, and inform you of a problem or rule. And not insult and belittle you ( unless play is involved and you both want that)... Just remember the differences... If a potential Dom is coming on to strong it's highly likely he's using the aggressive approach. And I don't know about you? But I am done with that bullshit! ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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The aggressive behavior just puts me off. I usually just say the WTF and now you're blocked. As a lesbian I get some very interesting ones. If anything, they do serve to amuse me.
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Such a shame that these type of arseholes are forcing you away from this site. I disagree with one comment tho... If a potential Dom is coming on to strong it's highly likely he's using the aggressive approach. I disagree... If a potential Dom is coming on to strong it's highly likely he's a fuckwit!
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Just toss them some Tide pops, and ask them if their mom's and dadss know what they are doing. Society sure can be challenging for some.
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"Between assertive and aggressive behavior..." What a pity so few so called doms on here understand this.
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7/18/2021 12:21 pm |
this information is just priceless
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Believe it or not, the same can be expected of many dommes too. What is it with foot photos and statuses that call all men subs or sissies? If any of these women ever meet me in person and treat me with such disrespect they'll get those feet caned then spend considerable time over my knee getting the attitude smacked out of them. You go girl, put them in their place. Remember, they're not a dom without a sub, just desperate and lonely.
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7/18/2021 1:27 pm |
There are too many differences to mention but the biggest issue is the absolutely lack of human decency or basic respect. People assume since this is, in their opinion, the flawed and strayed dept. of dating sites that no normal protocols apply. They fail to understand or care that the meaningful people here are actually seeking relationships. Like everyone else, a relationship based on trust and honesty with a slight or not so slight twist mixed in. Here's the biggest surprise for them Dominance isn't an entitlement to be a jerk or asshole and submission is certainly not weakness. There are plenty of demure ladies here that will light you on fire and not offer to piss on you to put it out.
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7/18/2021 2:44 pm |
Thank you, thank you,... THANK YOU!.. for this post. My favorite thoghts from your fans: The term fuckewit. I burst out laughing when I read this. The description about the lack of human decency. EXACTLY! Too many, really way too many, confuse submission and the desire to submit with the idea that submissive means doormat, object of abuse, worthless. In all honesty, at least for me, it means to have the freedom to trust in another HUMAN BEING to guide and encourage me through experiences I may be curious or naive about. I am NOT here for verbal, mental, or physical abuse. I am here for pleasure, understanding, and guidance. Now we get those that think their role as a Dominant is to exact that punishment, to exercise cruelty. Perhaps they were, as my husband says to his students, dropped too much as a child. They have some sort of deficiency in emotional and intellectual development. For me, Dominance means strength, means protection, and wisdom. I will and do freely submit to others. But only to others I know I can trust. I may feel pain but THEY know the proper way to deliver such discipline. Perhaps I'm way off base to what people are here for. I have had some great interactions with people from different parts of the world that I never would have had otherwise. I have also experienced some "asshats" as well. Block member function is a wonderful tool. Please be well, please be happy, and most of all, please be kind (in the right measure... sorry I like to song speak at times). Liz Then there are the ones
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Hi, hon. My IM's is turned off for a reason. That being so. It's just less of a hassle to me that way. Problem solved. Easy peasy  "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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pac I cannot think of a thing to add to the above comments!  Like Ali, I don't use IM but I rarely get the shit you and so many other Ladies do! I agree with drm - don't bother responding, just block them! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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My only defense for some of these walking penises is... They honestly think if they dont act aggressive then they will be quickly dismissed by the submissive woman. They will not be viewed as Dominant. I had that happen to me numerous times but in reverse..the domme blasted me as not being submissive because i responded as a real person instead of a tired doormat. Within a paragraph i was blown off. ??? But yes i get the same approach from men on gay dating sites...replies with just on sentence like..are you free tonight? Er i dont even know you... After they repeat this behavior i simply block them..which is a shame...they might be nice guys but were overtly aggressive on their approach. And yeah i get messages from alot of younger guys too...not that i want younger..but i assume most are onlyfan guys or looking for ,money
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Thanks...
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