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Topping from the bottom?? While pac realizes this is a funny comic... Does this actually happen? And how would you deal with it?  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~ |
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 ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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I think I would liken this to the use of a safe word. I always use three .... Green, Yellow and RED. I'm probably like a gazillion others in the peanut gallery. This would seem to be a 'yellow' ..... It would mean "Don't stop, but the intensity/pain is a little much". A submissive needs safe words and using them is not a form of 'topping' ..... Or so it would seem to me.  Make Women Female Again
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11/17/2021 6:59 am |
No big deal I'm hard of hearing so what was that you said?
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Funny. Yes, sometimes people think the reality and the imagination always match, but not always the case. Thus safe words. With a submissive like that, I would have to keep her gagged most of the time. Until I had the desire to use that mouth.
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You can't always get what you want, but sometimes you do with regrets.
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I've experienced one sub who tried to top from the bottom. Either she didn't know what she wanted, or hadn't clearly let me know beforehand. Regardless, we simply didn't meet again.
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Oh pac, this is more common than one would like to admit. I call them "Passive Dominants" (but that's just me; there's probably a term for them already). I absolutely understand that every one have desires and expectations. but it really irks me when a some one comes as a sub for me to dominate, but then the individual pretty much end up dictating and demanding what they want to be done to them like they truly do not grasp the conceptual definition of the roles.
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It's the three C's again. Communication, Communication, Communication.
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I know a Mistress that might listen but it's all done when she chooses and if she chooses.
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11/17/2021 10:05 am |
He's using a cane. She mentions hard spanking. There are safe words that can be used. In the last frame she tells him "...not that hard." I think the message comes across. Prearranged guidelines who be a help for next time.
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I'm with Plzrmiester on this, I don't think she is topping from the bottom. She's communicating! She's effectively communicating three of the four comunication items in your 'What is BDSM?' post. Our needs, wants & desires - "I want/need/desire to be punished hard today." Our limits - "Actually, that's a bit too much." Wanting something different - She's infering she'd like him to modifiy his punishment Talking about limits can only take you so far, one persons hard punishment might be different to anothers. They need to be tested, hence the need for safe words. I do wonder about the people who claim they have no limits. Have they thought that through? Do they lack imagination? In most cases I doubt it's true. In the days when these sort of arrangements where done through 'contact magazines.' I saw a profile that said they had no limits - they then proceeded to list two or three things they wouldn't do! Which is of course fair enough - but it makes the 'No limits' a bit redundant! Hall & Oates - 'I can't go for that'
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So much to say about this event, comic. First, punishment is for what i know, not something that is been negotiated. It is not for fun! youknow! Second, if this was a regular scene, the d type should start slowly and build it up starting with a cane is not building things up. Canes are mostly very heavy to handle as a sub, the wack is pretty, or can be, pretty intens. I really dont know if this is toppin from the bottom... I think, they did not negotiate the scene very well. There is also this thing, called: funishment, that is for having fun, playacting to be "punished" but only with what the s type loves!! No limits is the dumest thing to say, doms have limits. every one has limits. I always react with; alright, no limits? Good, chop off your left arm! Or drink a bottle bleach. An other thing, a dominant does not want someone who has no limits, because that is very dangerous, for the dominant, too And gives of the idea about having very low selfworth... "i will do anything, as long as you stay with me" kind or horror I know of a lot of male subs, who act like this, or give a written list with all the things they dont want to have done to them. but call themself; no limits sub....
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It's a great comic, because it's funny and true at the same time. I personally would pause long enough to remind my partner there are certain words and phrases for asserting ones limits .. everything else is within play, and if I didn't hear the right phrase she'd get extra for interrupting.
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pac LOL It is interesting as it raises the issue of "soft limits" A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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It's happened a few times, but then I started using gags prior to the spanking.
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