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| Blogs > pac369 > Pulling your own strings... |
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When a loved one gives up! Have you thought about how you would handle this? Our family didn't want t o. But we had no choice... My aunts husband died this morning because he just gave up. Refused all treatments even though Doctors gave him five extra years if he accepted treatments... Of course this is a adults right t o choose. pac told her Mom it reminded her of a older Nicholas Cage movie called "Leaving Las Vegas". Where Cages character, who has suffered tremendous lose, decides t o drink himself t o death. Even when he finds a relationship with a woman who understands and loves him. Nothing would change his mind about how he would die... These last couple of weeks would have been a time for a person t o take a "cocktail", have their family next t o them, where they say goodbye on their terms. Which unfortunately does not happen in our country... When pac was in Wisconsin this summer. He joked about how he was going t o "go out" his way. A 60 year smoker diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. He never entertained the thought of quitting smoking. His body finally saying enough. As he died in the middle of the night. While his wife and were taking short naps from the exhaustion of caring for him the last few weeks... In his agitated state yesterday he kept on saying he was dying! The guilt of not accepting or believing how sick he was is going t o haunt my aunt for a while. As she has numerous medical problems herself. Which naturally have been put on hold. Just another side effect of honoring someone's choice! Regardless, pac is sad for her family today. She's not even sure if she will be able t o attend the funeral. Since she still has stiches in her stomach... If you don't take anything else from this blog. (Yeah... it sucks when life gets in the way of our kinks!) Please remember your choices do effect others in your life. Whether you accept it or not... RIP Jim!  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~ |
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Acceptance of one's choices can be sooo sad!  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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3/30/2022 8:42 am |
So sad please take care my thoughts are with you and your family at such a sad moment xxx
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I had a close friend that went through round after round of chemo over a 7 year period. I wouldn't say that he lived much of a live over that time, he just lived longer. His wife said she wasn't sure if it was cancer that killed him or the treatments. Neither is a good way to go. And I just lost my younger brother 2 yrs ago to that terrible disease. My condolences to you and the family.
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So sorry to hear.
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I'm so sorry for your loss, pac. Every decision we make has an effect on someone. Thoughts and prayers coming your way.
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sorry to hear this news. thinking of you and your family.
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I want to go out on my terms ,too, Pac. It's no disrespect to others. It's my values. That's why we appreciate who & what we have. And live life to the fullest every day. I cherish reading your blog, and do consider you a freind Pac. Dave
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Oh, pac, i am so sorry for your loss. It stinks to lose the ones we love. Recently friends of mine have lost loved ones suddenly and with no reason. I will be thinking of you today and your uncle.
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3/30/2022 9:40 am |
we start dieing the day we are born.
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sad to hear of your loss.. but, what you just may have to understand and realize is that sometimes people ithat have been sick and quite ill for long time just get tired of fighting. and feeling bad and just want peace. IT DOESN'T MAKE IT EASY FOR THE PEOPLE LEFT BEHIND>HAVE BEENTHERE PERSONALLY MYSELF WITH ,Y BELOVED WIFE
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Very sad to hear that. My best wishes to your and your family.
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That is so hard. He did what he thought he needed to do for himself, but in the big picture, life doesn't occur in a vacuum. As you witnessed, personal decisions can have an impact on many other people. I'm so sorry for your family's loss, and it's a shame that there isn't a better solution available for a situation like this.
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My condolences pac. Whether it's accepting death and refusing treatment or suicide, I always found it hard to accept. Then again, I have special reason to feel that way. My son was 3 months premature, but he fought to live and made it. At 18 months, he had his neck broken in 2 places in a car accident. Even confined to a wheelchair with a lot of physical limitations, he has persevered. Graduated from High School in the mainstream of students, learned to drives, made Eagle scout. He never gives up. As difficult as things can get for me, How could I ever give up. How could I leave that message for my son. You are so right, pac. People need to think of other's in their lives when making that kind of choice.
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When someone makes this decision, in their lifes..... It is hard on every one, It involves every one, connected to that person...  I wish you strenght, and peace and patience.
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Condolences for you and the remainder of the family at this sad time Pac. Loss of a close friend or relative does hit hard and stays with us for longer than we wish, but at least in this situation, all those that wanted to say a personal farewell message, had the chance. There are so many who never get this opportunity.
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Sorry to hear about your loss Pac. If there is anything the last two years have shown us it's the diverse and sometimes irrational spectrum of choices and decisions that people will make when presented with the same set of facts and conditions. I hope your aunt doesn't take responsibility for her husbands choices .. but I also know that's exactly how the minds of those left behind work. Breathe in .. Breathe out .. life and the world continues on it's course regardless of our actions.
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Sorry to hear of your loss pac. Hope your aunt can come to terms with it before too long.
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sorry for your loss Pac my deepest condolences & sympathy are w you! it’s hard to question somebody’s decision for we don’t know what their going thru how much pain they suffer or the quality of their life stage 3 is pretty much a death sentence the quality of life for 5 more yrs maybe wasn’t what he wanted to endure?! we all gotta die but we don’t die we live on in another form another dimension another realm...he’s not in pain anymore looks healthy & young again! God only promises us 70yrs so anything over that is bonus time remember the good times spent together my mom always said live & be your best today for tomorrow isn’t promised!
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Never easy, but best wishes to you and your family.
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pac I am sorry for your loss.. As you say, everyone should have the choice whether to have treatment but, all our actions have consequences for others! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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We didn't choose to be born, but we should choose when we leave if we can. Living is hard, but to know you are going to die and face it takes great courage. Be a blessing.
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3/30/2022 7:36 pm |
So sad. pac, I am very sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts.
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I'm sorry for your loss. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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I am sorry to hear of your loss. When my mother died FL law forced my father to go into assisted living. He gave up treatment and died 4 months later.I was the only family member who could take off from work We lived 1,250 miles apart and I had scheduled a week's visit with him. He got sick and went into a coma before I had a chance to say a final goodbye.
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pac369 replies on 3/31/2022 9:57 am: What a tragic story that is mstraesop! Hard to believe there is a actual law that your father had to follow! It was not a bad law. It is similar to child protective laws where if the mother/father cannot take care of the child. My father could not take care of himself. My mother was physically ill but had had all her mental faculties. Until a year before his death my father was physically fit but had onset Altzhiieimers They were barely able to take care of themselves without aides coming in to help.
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