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Humiliation or just a Kink If you enjoy , is truly humiliation? This is the question that I have asked myself for years. Why do I like if its truly humiliating? When the definition of humiliation it's self is "an unpleasant emotion brought about by feeling that one's social, personal or even sexual status or public image has decreased or shamed" can derive sexual pleasures or stimulation from being put in such situations? Yet, for nearly a year while in college I kept returning over and over again a powerful Domme friend used and humiliated me physically and sexually. Each time made me want her even the more. That was one of the most confusing relationships that I had every experienced. Her use and control over me seemed become stronger, when she used me more intensely or in ways that I can't even discuss here. Is the act or is the person that we are drawn . Indulging that person's desires, even when performing for them is deemed "humiliating" but arousing me because I sense that I am pleasing them. Everyone has had or do have fantasies of pleasing someone such levels. Or have gotten aroused at being used in unspeakable ways. If you haven't experienced such levels of uninhibited use, live more !! If I had my way, I would replace the word humiliation with something new because every time within the lifestyle, when I have been used or put in sexual or lifestyle situation, I've been very stimulated and ended up wanting or coming back for more. |
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6/29/2021 5:09 pm |
Is there really such a paradox? It seems to me humiliation is contextual. That is to say in the context of your private session with your Domme there is nothing humiliating about the voluntary power exchange which allows each of you to fulfill your desires without shame or regret. There is no malice in her use of you. It is simply an intimate sharing of base desires between two human beings in a safe setting. That is why we compartmentalize this lifestyle. Keeping it safe and private among loving friends. But change the context to a setting outside of this compartment among people we respect and care for in our professional lives. To be forced to submit to such use in front of them would be very humiliating to your social standing in that group. I agree humiliation is not a good word to describe what you truly enjoy. Rather than humiliate you, she liberates you to fulfill your own deep rooted and powerful desires. So replace the word with liberation and let your inner slut run wild and free!
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Words, over time have different meanings. Context is a qualifier of course. Perhaps a new word is in order. Maybe words like uncomfortable, compromising with an adjective too more define a word would be in order. Humiliation, dehumanization, denigration may be truly deleterious to one person and mesmerizing to another. What can be humiliating and such at one point can then be liberation at a later point. Many submissiveness at first uncomfortable and ashamed or humiliated with being exposed naked, even at a dungeon when they first come to this. Then later the come to feel exhilarated by nakedness. The only thing for you, is to find partners not so concerned with a definition but fit your needs and desires. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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Extreme sexual objectification might work.
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I do not think everyone understands it but humiliation is what I desire and what turns me on... andy
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