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tales from the newbie sub files: do you like HIM, or do you just like his toys? Blog to follow in first comment. Thanks for reading! |
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Several years ago, when i was much more of a "newbie sub" and figuring out what i wanted out of BDSM (well, i guess i still am figuring that out)... i was dating and playing with a local Dominant who REALLY liked me. i liked him too, but he liked me a lot more and wanted a lot more from me. The first time we spent the whole night together (at his insistence) was also the first time that a large wooden paddle was used on me. He had made it by hand...it was a traditional kind like you see in old school or fraternity movies. Large, long, thick and drilled with holes. He used it so well on me that night and i LOVED IT!!! i was in love...with the paddle. That night as we slept side by side, i cuddled the shit out of that paddle, but not him. Lesson Learned: if i like his toys more than i like him, it's time to move on.
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1/12/2024 12:47 pm |
Sometimes we can love the toys and learn to love the person other times we can love the person and learn to love the toys 
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Just because you like the paddle doesn't mean you should like the guy using it. You might meet a guy who owns a similar paddle, and he just doesn't use it the same way. With this in mind, are you in love with the paddle, or are you in love with the paddle in this guys hands? Its nice that a Dominant guy has toys to begin with. I regularly get approached by so called Doms who are like "I thought you'd let me use your toys and restraints"..... instant turn off for me. The way I see that, I am prepared to do self bondage, what do I need a guy with no toys for ? The amount of Doms who talk about what they want to do but don't have the gear to do it is overwhelming. Usual excuses, I'm married and she might find them or the favorite one I get a lot, My toys were stolen out of my car..... This guy has a paddle that you like, a paddle he's made himself, maybe he might make other impact play toys you like, if you give him the encoutagement to make them.
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Have you considered that you like both his toys and the expert way he uses them on you?
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I had a paddle gifted to me and I slept with it every night for 6 mos......just something that had to be done.
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Even worse scenario...staying with someone just to keep on playing.. Which might not happen to a woman.. But might happen to a male slave.. Your not staying for the toys so much as Your staying cause it's hard to find a Woman that Wants to Dom.. Or you stay cause that Dom has connections,can get you into private parties,dungeons,
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Or worse..you stay with that person because they are into things you like.. Say strap on.. But your not crazy about them as a person
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