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BDSM Contracts - What are they REALLY? Article in comments  |
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What they are NOT is legally binding. Whether verbal or written, whether signed and witnessed, they are not recognized by the legal system and a Notary will not stamp and sign them. If any Dominant tell you they are legally binding, WALK AWAY, better yet RUN. They either are uninformed about the history of sub/slavery being abolished around the world, or are trying to trap you into a life as a sub/slave by lying to you. What a BDSM contract is, REALLY is, is a consensual agreement between 2 people to engage in a relationship consisting of a Dominant and a sub/slave and including whatever sexual, domestic responsibilities and kinks agreed to. The "Contract" can be any length from a simple agreement such as "I accept so-and-so as my sub/slave / I consent to so-and-so being my Dominant" To a multipage document containing clauses and sub clauses detailing every facet, limit, safe word, and impact toy allowed and not allowed, Scene play days, disciplines, rewards and everything else under the sun that can be thought of. The KEY word is consensual. And consent can be withdrawn at any time and for any reason. If you withdraw consent and are prevented from leaving or forced to submit, it is call Illegal Detainment and/or Kidnapping, along with assault and sexual assault if it applies. Submission is by consent only, not by law. No matter how long, or short the contract, no matter if there are specified end dates to the contract, or agreed to reasons for terminating the contract written into it. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, the contract ended by either partner at any time. The only things that make the BDSM Contract at all binding, are the loyalties of the partners to one another and the 4 pillars of a BDSM relationship. Some partners forgo the contract and instead keep written protocols and rules posted or in a binder for easy reference. A list of limits kept handy and many times adjusted over the span of the relationship. The thing to remember is that no written paper keeps the relationship alive and continuing. That is done by the 2 partners being emotional committed to each other and willing to work to make the relationship successful for them both. Just like any other type of relationship
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Contracts can be a very good vehicle for making it understood what is expected from both parties...😎
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I AGREE / HOW EVER IF SOME ONE GETS HURT BY ACCIDENT IT WOULD PROVE THEY WERE PLAYING BD SM GAMES !!
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Bondiri, Good from you to mention behavior + other Bdsm issues, to refresh things that are worth learning and instructive. Although I've never had the chance to make such a contract, it is just a moral document that helps in the evaluation of sex sessions whenever disagreement should arise while performing. It stands as a symbolic bond that helps to keep the relationship on track and regulates the interactions, that can be adapted + modified at all time, whitout having legal binding powers. I don't know if it will make much impressions on the sub to honor her (his) commitments and if it helps to encourage the sub to stay loyal, loose from the quality 'Dom' service given to the sub. Greetz, Julius
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All contracts are an agreement to what the work entails and who one is doing it with. They get broken all the time...
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This is very good info. Ron, I think you have put a lot of very useful bdsm educational material in blog to create your own book or guide. We're fortunate you share it with us... but I'm thinking there's a lot of people and beginners out there who may not have the access to this. Just a though..thought... just sayin'...
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This is very good info. Ron, I think you have put a lot of very useful bdsm educational material in blog to create your own book or guide. We're fortunate you share it with us... but I'm thinking there's a lot of people and beginners out there who may not have the access to this. Just a though..thought... just sayin'...
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All of the above, meaning no contract is set in stone
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