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rondiri 65M
7306 posts
10/2/2022 8:59 pm

Last Read:
10/6/2022 10:16 am

BDSM Contracts - What are they REALLY?

Article in comments


rondiri 65M
11185 posts
10/2/2022 9:00 pm

What they are NOT is legally binding. Whether verbal or written, whether signed and witnessed, they are not recognized by the legal system and a Notary will not stamp and sign them.
If any Dominant tell you they are legally binding, WALK AWAY, better yet RUN. They either are uninformed about the history of sub/slavery being abolished around the world, or are trying to trap you into a life as a sub/slave by lying to you.
What a BDSM contract is, REALLY is, is a consensual agreement between 2 people to engage in a relationship consisting of a Dominant and a sub/slave and including whatever sexual, domestic responsibilities and kinks agreed to.
The "Contract" can be any length from a simple agreement such as "I accept so-and-so as my sub/slave / I consent to so-and-so being my Dominant"
To a multipage document containing clauses and sub clauses detailing every facet, limit, safe word, and impact toy allowed and not allowed, Scene play days, disciplines, rewards and everything else under the sun that can be thought of.
The KEY word is consensual. And consent can be withdrawn at any time and for any reason. If you withdraw consent and are prevented from leaving or forced to submit, it is call Illegal Detainment and/or Kidnapping, along with assault and sexual assault if it applies. Submission is by consent only, not by law.
No matter how long, or short the contract, no matter if there are specified end dates to the contract, or agreed to reasons for terminating the contract written into it. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, the contract ended by either partner at any time.
The only things that make the BDSM Contract at all binding, are the loyalties of the partners to one another and the 4 pillars of a BDSM relationship.
Some partners forgo the contract and instead keep written protocols and rules posted or in a binder for easy reference. A list of limits kept handy and many times adjusted over the span of the relationship.
The thing to remember is that no written paper keeps the relationship alive and continuing. That is done by the 2 partners being emotional committed to each other and willing to work to make the relationship successful for them both.
Just like any other type of relationship


brandygirasol 55T
9435 posts
10/2/2022 9:12 pm

Contracts can be a very good vehicle for making it understood what is expected from both parties...😎


rondiri replies on 10/3/2022 10:50 am:
yup.

bnc124312 71M/65F  
88 posts
10/2/2022 9:32 pm

I AGREE / HOW EVER IF SOME ONE GETS HURT BY ACCIDENT IT WOULD PROVE THEY WERE PLAYING BD SM GAMES !!


rondiri replies on 10/3/2022 10:51 am:
yes, but if someone gets hurt outside of the contracts outline, it proves no consent.

bmw318is61 52M
96 posts
10/3/2022 2:20 am

Bondiri,
Good from you to mention behavior + other Bdsm issues, to refresh things that are worth learning and instructive.
Although I've never had the chance to make such a contract, it is just a moral document that helps in the evaluation of sex sessions whenever disagreement should arise while performing. It stands as a symbolic bond that helps to keep the relationship on track and regulates the interactions, that can be adapted + modified at all time, whitout having legal binding powers.
I don't know if it will make much impressions on the sub to honor her (his) commitments and if it helps to encourage the sub to stay loyal, loose from the quality 'Dom' service given to the sub.

Greetz,
Julius


rondiri replies on 10/3/2022 10:53 am:
I've found the contracts are more symbol than anything in a good relationship. When someone crosses the lines agreed to in the contract, it can show abuse and non consent.

likeithot19 62M
6085 posts
10/3/2022 4:49 am

All contracts are an agreement to what the work entails and who one is doing it with. They get broken all the time...


rondiri replies on 10/3/2022 10:54 am:
By broken, do you mean reworked> or the agreements ignored? When ignored, that can show what was consented to and that abuse occurred. When reworked, that is a natural evolution of the relationship and is a good thing.

manni_pr 52T
2609 posts
10/3/2022 8:31 am

This is very good info. Ron, I think you have put a lot of very useful bdsm educational material in blog to create your own book or guide. We're fortunate you share it with us... but I'm thinking there's a lot of people and beginners out there who may not have the access to this.
Just a though..thought... just sayin'...


rondiri replies on 10/3/2022 10:56 am:
That is why I also post to BDSM Facebook groups. I try to help as many people as I can. Many of the Facebook crowd are new to the lifestyle. A group I moderate has roughly 4000 active members and I've recently joined 3 more groups, just to try and share what I can to novices and help them stay safe.

manni_pr 52T
2609 posts
10/3/2022 12:06 pm

    Quoting manni_pr:
    This is very good info. Ron, I think you have put a lot of very useful bdsm educational material in blog to create your own book or guide. We're fortunate you share it with us... but I'm thinking there's a lot of people and beginners out there who may not have the access to this.
    Just a though..thought... just sayin'...
That is very nice and needed. Keep it up. Topics are spot on.


likeithot19 62M
6085 posts
10/3/2022 12:43 pm

All of the above, meaning no contract is set in stone


rondiri replies on 10/3/2022 5:39 pm:
Nope, as the partners evolve, the contract has to evolve with them.


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