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rondiri 65M
7307 posts
11/3/2022 9:04 pm

Last Read:
11/4/2022 9:30 am

Words I do not allow my slave to use.

Article in comments


rondiri 65M
11178 posts
11/3/2022 9:05 pm

There are certain words I do not allow my slave to use because of the negativity they represent.
NO, CAN’T/CAN NOT, WON’T/WILL NOT, DON’T/DO NOT and TRY/TRIED
Are forbidden when answering me. Of course, during negotiation, she had every right to object to this protocol or ask to amend all or part of it. Some will say, that “No” should be allowed, because a slave has a right to say “NO” to anything they are uncomfortable with. But “NO” can be voiced more positively.
Me: “Can you handle this 8 inch anal plug?” My slave: “That would be beyond my capability Sir.” Is much better than just a “NO, Sir”. Or “I can’t Sir.” Or “I won’t Sir”.
Rather than saying “I can ‘TRY’ Sir.” My Slave answers, “We can attempt that Sir.”
Rather than explaining why she was unable to do something with “I ‘TRIED’ Sir.” Or “I ‘COULDN’T’ do this/that.” I prefer, “I did my best Sir.” Or “I’ll do better, next time Sir.” Or even “It was too much for me Sir.”
If in a discussion about something that is beyond the slave’s limits or abilities. I would rather hear her explain WHY the discussed thing was beyond her limits and abilities, rather than just her saying, “I Can’t/Won’t do that.”
I feel that negative words, like those I forbid, tend to close off discussion and produce negativity in the relationship. By not being able to use these words, my slave is encouraged to communicate the thoughts on the subject rather than using an easy negative word. And we all know how important open communication is in a relationship. The forbidding of the words, DOESN”T change safe words or limits, especially since these forbidden words are horrible safe words in the first place.
What are your thoughts on this protocol?


Will35 61M
394 posts
11/3/2022 9:08 pm

This seems like a very good idea to me ... and the dominant should avoid similar 'easy negative' words as well, of course, for the same reason - to encourage open communication and discussion.


rondiri replies on 11/4/2022 9:27 am:
absolutely

meltwill2 72M  
3803 posts
11/3/2022 10:05 pm

    Quoting rondiri:
    There are certain words I do not allow my slave to use because of the negativity they represent.
    NO, CAN’T/CAN NOT, WON’T/WILL NOT, DON’T/DO NOT and TRY/TRIED
    Are forbidden when answering me. Of course, during negotiation, she had every right to object to this protocol or ask to amend all or part of it. Some will say, that “No” should be allowed, because a slave has a right to say “NO” to anything they are uncomfortable with. But “NO” can be voiced more positively.
    Me: “Can you handle this 8 inch anal plug?” My slave: “That would be beyond my capability Sir.” Is much better than just a “NO, Sir”. Or “I can’t Sir.” Or “I won’t Sir”.
    Rather than saying “I can ‘TRY’ Sir.” My Slave answers, “We can attempt that Sir.”
    Rather than explaining why she was unable to do something with “I ‘TRIED’ Sir.” Or “I ‘COULDN’T’ do this/that.” I prefer, “I did my best Sir.” Or “I’ll do better, next time Sir.” Or even “It was too much for me Sir.”
    If in a discussion about something that is beyond the slave’s limits or abilities. I would rather hear her explain WHY the discussed thing was beyond her limits and abilities, rather than just her saying, “I Can’t/Won’t do that.”
    I feel that negative words, like those I forbid, tend to close off discussion and produce negativity in the relationship. By not being able to use these words, my slave is encouraged to communicate the thoughts on the subject rather than using an easy negative word. And we all know how important open communication is in a relationship. The forbidding of the words, DOESN”T change safe words or limits, especially since these forbidden words are horrible safe words in the first place.
    What are your thoughts on this protocol?
Fair enough.......


rondiri replies on 11/4/2022 9:28 am:

0410blossom 52F
708 posts
11/4/2022 12:04 am

Very interesting Rondiri, this really has me thinking about where you’re leading your slave. Nicely done.


rondiri replies on 11/4/2022 9:28 am:
thank you

manni_pr 52T
2609 posts
11/4/2022 3:35 am

Pretty good topic. I actually consider myself oriented (avoiding the term trained, although as simple as reading this was, could very well be) and will look into putting this into practice in the future. And if I may, you also bought up a good point on the futility of using Safety Words similar to the negative words you just described as they may be confusing during play and I'm thinking that that coould also be a discussion for you in the future... if you haven't yet, of course. Just an idea...
Thank you for the wisdom


rondiri replies on 11/4/2022 9:29 am:
a pleasure.

brandygirasol 55T
9433 posts
11/4/2022 4:29 am

After negotiations are settled DOMs don't want to hear NO and I accept that along with punishment. Also DOMs don't want to see a frown on his slaves face so I always keep smiling or at least a beautiful expression... Also I love a DOM who establishes the rules and is very strict and sadistic enforcing the rules... ❤️❤️❤️


rondiri replies on 11/4/2022 9:29 am:

drmgirl622 68F  
26107 posts
11/4/2022 4:53 am

I know that using the word "no" with Mistress is absolutely forbidden.


rondiri replies on 11/4/2022 9:29 am:

hardtop4you 65M

11/4/2022 5:40 am

This is the essence of trust training.
I give a safe word before complete
trust is established. It will be removed
later. They are not allowed to decline
trying to complete a task or session. If
they cannot complete it they simply use
their safe word.
Understand that trust is fluid you are
learning to trust each other and your own
judgments.


rondiri replies on 11/4/2022 9:30 am:

rydermantel 69M
25364 posts
11/4/2022 6:56 am

    Quoting brandygirasol:
    After negotiations are settled DOMs don't want to hear NO and I accept that along with punishment. Also DOMs don't want to see a frown on his slaves face so I always keep smiling or at least a beautiful expression... Also I love a DOM who establishes the rules and is very strict and sadistic enforcing the rules... ❤️❤️❤️
Is this the "happy place" I hear so much about?



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