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Reposting For Enehren -Red Flags for a submissive to look for in a Dominant  |
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Red Flags for a submissive to look for in Dominants Insists that you address them as a specific title upon first meeting them. Avoids talking about personal details and/or gets mad when you ask, or quickly ends the conversation Avoids giving you their home/work phone number after an appropriate amount of time. Have no BDSM references or friends you can talk to while vetting Gets angry when you ask for references or ask around about them. Criticize the BDSM community and refuse to participate, especially if they never were part of it. Has nothing nice to say about previous partners. Does not take personal responsibility. Always put blame on others for things going wrong. Tells you inconsistent details about themselves. ONLY interacts in a kinky or sexual manner as if role-playing. Won’t have normal vanilla conversations. Only communicates with you at strange hours and gets mad if you try to contact them at other times. Disappears from communication for days or weeks at a time without explanation. Has multiple online identities for interacting within the same communities. Rushes you into a relationship too fast by manipulation, coercion or threat to end talking. Always finds excuses for not meeting real time. Swears undying love, even before meeting you. Questions your loyalty. Claims to have no hard or soft limits, and you should trust their judgement. Doesn’t ask about limits, insists you shouldn’t have limits, pushes you into kinks you have said no to Refuses to have conversations about consent/limits/desires. Tries to tell you what a real/true submissive is and does (usually what THEY want you to be like) Gets upset with you about wanting to make a safe call on a first meeting Insists on a scene on your first meeting Insists you do not need a safe word. Makes you feel guilty for using your safe word. Does not respect your safe word. Pressures you into playing in ways that violate your personal limits. Initiates play when you or your partner is intoxicated or plays when they are angry or upset. Does not provide aftercare. Treats you with disrespect outside of scenes. Is impolite with you and with the public in general Tries to separate you from your friends, family and/or BDSM community, so you have no support system Does not respect your limits, negotiations or contracts. Lies or withholds information; cheats on you or is overly jealous. Won’t discuss the future of the relationship. Tries to keep you in the dark about the future. Does not respect your feelings, rights, or opinions. Belittles your ideas. Makes you feel unwanted or ugly Blames you for your own hurt feelings. Abuses alcohol or other drugs. Constantly asks for large amounts of money from you or others. Tries to intimidate you outside of scene play to get you to agree with his point of view Threatens to leave or abandon you if you do not comply Tries to make you feel guilty for not being good enough; tells that you are not a "True" sub. Forces intimacy on you against your wishes. NO still means NO, even for a submissive. Ignores your needs, including medical treatment, clothing or food Consistently break promises themselves. Hides behind their BDSM authority and says that their authority should not be questioned. Loses control of their emotions in arguments and regress to yelling, name-calling and blame. Wants control of your money or finances and you are not living together. Gives you expensive gifts to gain compliance on something you do not wish to do © 9/7/22 Ronald Dirienzo
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hahaha hahaha
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I have seen everyone of those at one time or another from individuals that got picked by the wrong person. Some were lucky and figured it out quickly others it took a little longer. Horror story on top of others from ones that got taken in. Another good one to copy and have available at the xmas munch! Thank you!  
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😎
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12/5/2022 5:24 am |
Ha! Most of those should be "Red Flags" in ANY relationship. Not just a Dom/sub one.  Although number one would be acceptable to me. In fact, i usually ask a Man how He wishes me to address Him before we meet in person. --- Although, i DO tend to ask a LOT of questions before i agree to do so. If any of His answers fell in one of the above areas, i probably would just tell Him that i was no longer interested.  i may be a cheap and easy slut. But even i have my standards.  My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do. 
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I have seen everyone of those at one time or another from individuals that got picked by the wrong person. Some were lucky and figured it out quickly others it took a little longer. Horror story on top of others from ones that got taken in. Another good one to copy and have available at the xmas munch! Thank you!
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