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Mental aspects of BDSM Article in comments  |
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There is more to BDSM than just the physical aspects. It seems in today’s BDSM that people want the instant gratification of the physical aspects of BDSM and ignore the mental aspects of BDSM. Sure, the impact play, sex, all the nifty toys, like nipple clips, cock rings, chastity belts and cages, etc, all are enjoyable to different segments of the Community. They make scene play fun and exciting. But that is not all BDSM is about. The mental aspects of Dominance and submission are so often overlooked, but they are the basis of a solid dynamic. The Dominant that gets into the head of the submissive, doesn’t have to rely on toys, implements and sex to satisfy needs of a submissive. When a Dominant can use the mental aspects of BDSM, a look, a tone of voice, the right touch, or select words can bring a submissive to their knees, make them feel like the most treasured possession on earth, yearn to please the Dominant in any way the submissive can. Now, I’m not saying this is some kind of mind control or hypnosis to force the submissive to do things they wouldn’t normally do. I’m talking about the aspects of learning the submissives reactions to words, touches and looks. Building a trust that goes beyond the knowledge of safety during scene play. Creating a feeling of deep comfort and safe environment that the submissive is drawn to like a security blanket. There’s nothing really magical about it. But none of it is something you can snap your fingers and attain. The mental aspects of Dominance take time and patience to achieve. They take caring about, and the will to learn about, the submissive far beyond the physical abilities and limitations the submissive might have. It requires the time, outside of scene play and sex, to learn everything about the thought process, loves, hates and fears of the submissive. It requires listening intently to everything the submissives says to learn these things and remember them, in order to understand the submissive’s mindset. It has little to do with sexuality or kink and everything to do with creating a link with the submissive of understanding, the deepest of trust and devotion. © 12/9/22 Ronald Dirienzo
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This is interesting. Thank you for sharing it. kajira belongs fully to Master Adomis4u2
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True the DOMs I've encountered always want to fuck with my mind as well as my body LOVE IT❤️❤️❤️
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True the DOMs I've encountered always want to fuck with my mind as well as my body LOVE IT❤️❤️❤️
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I love the mental aspect......it grounds me.
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This isn't about roles, fetishes, pain or even a lifestyle . . There is a bond created in the chemistry between a Dominant will and a submissive will. It is more than just the physicality of the marks, bruises, the torture or pain . . it's in your subspace when you realize you have gone further than your mind imagined and you understand that I am teaching you the balance of yielding control but not yielding strength. When you hear the words, "good girl" . . your pride swells and you understand that surrender is much more a spiritual, {mental} dimension of who you are than a physical dimension . . It's in the aftercare . . I hold you til the trembling stops, you curl up in my hold, no words are spoken, two hearts, two souls and spirits meld into a single focus . . you have seen your demons dancing in my eyes and realize that your submission is not a gift or a weakness and my Dominance is not a strength or entitlement . . They are our calling . . and we simply fulfill each other . . Like two halves of a circle complete the circle an make it whole. BDSM is only one dimension of a deep, trusting, honest relationship. 
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Who is this Ronald Dirienzo? And that is what is missing by a lot of those socalled dominants in the Dutch scene! When i try to talk about this part FIRST, they look at me, as if i am speaking Russia or something like that. Also, there are guys who really say, right in my face, that thát is "TO MUCH WORK"  I always feel the need to hit them with a vey hard object, right over their heads! "Thanks for this deep insight in your mind, and thanks for this very sincere "compliment"!  amp;Such a shame, calling themself dominant? Again, a great article, rondiri! Most Dutch ds amp; want to jump right into the physical act, without even knowing the basics of the other persons past, medical, mental, or other wise.
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I like this comment/response 
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Who is this Ronald Dirienzo? And that is what is missing by a lot of those socalled dominants in the Dutch scene! When i try to talk about this part FIRST, they look at me, as if i am speaking Russia or something like that. Also, there are guys who really say, right in my face, that thát is "TO MUCH WORK" I always feel the need to hit them with a vey hard object, right over their heads! "Thanks for this deep insight in your mind, and thanks for this very sincere "compliment"! amp;Such a shame, calling themself dominant? Again, a great article, rondiri! Most Dutch ds amp; want to jump right into the physical act, without even knowing the basics of the other persons past, medical, mental, or other wise.
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