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Submissive vs slave terminology. Article in comments And back to bed I think. |
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I was asked to define the difference between a submissive and a slave. First of all, submissive is a catch all term to describe anyone in the BDSM Community with submissive tendencies, whether: Submissive Slave Brat Little/middle Smart ass masochist pet Princess or any other term or combination of terms. Yes, many submissive’s in the modern BDSM world relate themselves to multiple terms as a submissive. Don’t get all irate Traditionalist readers, I’ll get to THAT definition. As time has passed and learning and knowledge has eroded, as well as times changing, so dynamics had to keep up. The terms have become blurred. Many modern day Community members just pick the term that they believe they relate to or like the best. (slave is a lot easier to say than submissive? Or it has a more serious connotation?) So, the Traditional definitions of a submissive and a slave. A submissive retains rights to make their own decisions. They negotiate or set their limits. They use safe words. They live their life as they see fit within the dynamic that they negotiated with a Dominant. The dynamic is much less rigid and fluid. The submissive closely resembles the 1950s housewife in America. A slave in the traditional thinking is a submissive who choses and owner, and over time builds the trust and dynamic that allows them to give up, voluntarily, all rights and freedoms to their Master. They make no choices in the dynamic, they do not have limits, trusting in the Master to keep the submissives health, safety and wellbeing as a paramount concern. The slave lives to serve their Master. They make themselves the property of their Master. Ok, I can hear the buts, and complaints coming. I didn’t create these definitions. They have been around for decades, maybe centuries. There are those in the Community that stick to the traditional definitions and there are those that chose to pick what term will be used in the dynamic. I’m not going to say which is right and wrong. Because like everything BDSM. It’s what works for YOU.If you like to join groups, fair warning. Many traditional groups WILL NOT accept brats, littles/middles, or anything but traditional value submissives and Dominants. And more modern groups will remove you if you talk about the traditional value. Acceptance, though it SHOULD be, in the Community, Doesn’t always happen. © 12/30/22 Ronald Dirienzo
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You take yourself entirely too serious!!
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1 post 12/31/2022 12:56 pm |
A very good summary of the 2 definitions - arguably the extremes between each everyone in the community finds their own place
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I disagree with your definition of Submissive vs. Slave. Might I offer a shorter clearer version. A submissive has a choice. A slave doesn't. Period. A submissive can either 'Stop' or leave at anytime. A slave cannot.
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1/1/2023 3:19 am |
Good article, Ron. And i am glad to see you back. (i was more than a little worried when i didn't see a new Blogs here.) i hope You recover quickly. As to the sub/slave "controversy," the definitions of words do change over time. (Is that called language drift?) The most dramatic change (for me anyway) lately has been "friend." When i was young (and up until a couple decades ago) a friend was an emotionally close associate that one had frequent contact with and with whom one shared many interests. Now, "friend" is a social media contact that one may NEVER actually see in person and with whom one may have very little in common. If a word like that can change SO dramatically in such a short time, is there any wonder that words within our special interest niche drift also? My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do. 
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You take yourself entirely too serious!! 
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Well explained. I had a previous Dominant to explain this to me a while ago. He could have taken advantage of me but he was clear on it. The slave term seems pretty sexy and romantic from a certain aspect and perspective but it sure carries a lot of responsibility on both sides. This the importance of being with a person you can trust and not just anyone. Thank you again for sharing and Happy New Year!
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