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How do YOU try a new toy/pain implement Article in Comments  |
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How do YOU try a new toy/pain implement So you bought a new cane, flogger, paddle, electro stim toy, wax candles, etc. Who gets the first strike, zap drip, etc? In my opinion, if the Dominant is responsible, they try the new toy on themselves FIRST. A submissive isn’t a Guinea pig. Their safety, health and wellbeing is in the Dominant’s hands, the Dominant’s responsibility. I don’t expect my submissive to be able to handle anything I cannot. And I will not experiment on my submissive. Might she be able to handle more than I can? Absolutely. And after discussion, if she wants to try the new item, I will carefully introduce the item. But I won’t just drop it into a scene by surprise. A rattan cane is not the same as a cane made of Delrin Floggers can be of different materials and could be braided, knotted, barbed, etc. Electro prods, are all different and give different jolts. I have no doubt that there will be different opinions on testing implements on yourself as a Dominant. I have no doubt there will be submissives that say, “BY ALL MEANS, SURPRISE ME!” There will be those that say, “That’s what the safe word is for.” That’s why we have negotiations and vetting before consent is given. We all do things different. But all it takes is ONE time with the wrong surprise, to traumatize someone. To send someone into shock or panic when a new item is tried… even if it’s expected. Personally, I’d rather try something on myself, before a test run on my submissive. I WANT to know what my submissive feels by my actions. It gives me a better idea how to use the implement and how to control the scene while using the implement to my submissives advantage and her safety. If you don’t know how it feels, you are just guessing how to use the item and how it affects your partner. © 1/14/23 Ronald Dirienzo
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Simple answer. I will not inflict anything pn a sub that I have not tried on myself. The obvious exception has to be anything inserted vaginally. I am not equipped for that, so I just have to proceed cautiously and progressively until i understand. Putting needles through my own nipples was an interesting experience, but I understand what I am asking the sub to endure.
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100%, Take Your time with everything. If You know Your partner, then they trust You. Trust is a beautiful thing and it is earned. Try things out. Surprise them as You may but it is at Your own peril. Hope
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Right on
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What about the possibility of permitting the sub to test it out first on the Dom? Said Dom would not be asking the sub to consider her/himself a switch on a permanent basis. He would simply be allowing the submissive (for one brief finite activity) to test out an implement or sex "toy"on Himself, the Dom, as the guinea pig. It would not only demonstrate His magnanimity and His concern for safety, but would also reassure the sub of the Dom's own bona fides, committment, and truthfulness/trustworthiness (in the immediate preliminary to an actual, real-time session context , wherein the sub could bear witness to the test's evidential outcome and to the Dom's conspicuous reactions). If, howerver, the sub was disinclined/reluctant to partake of this--the Dom's-- generously comferred instance of personal privilege and "freedom"upon her or him to affect or artificially assume (howsoever demonstrably) a temporary display or attitude of precautionary "dominance," then I guess the only options open to the sub would have to be either to trust the Dom's avowal or affirmation of having tested the implement upon Himself, or else simply to take her/his chances with the always unpredictable element of an unrehearsed surprise; more specifically, with an untested implement, which has the potential to cause unbearable distress and pain, even a more lasting physical injury, to the unwitting sub.
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Great topic. Like you mentioned, this may be a matter of opinions. It'd be admirable that Dominant would test new toys. But toys may cause problems as new as the same as used. And like you said, a Dominant using it on her/himself may not be accurate since tolerances may be significantly different. I think the Dominant should focuse more on inspecting periodically for quality and maintenance of the gear to make sure is appropriate and safe for use on the sub.
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