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Honesty Article in the comments  |
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One of the four pillars of BDSM is Honesty. After Communication, it is the second pillar to come into play in BDSM. If Honesty isn’t flowing when you begin to Communicate, there will never be Trust and respect. But Honesty in BDSM comes in more than one form. First and foremost, you have to be Honest with yourself. You have to Honestly believe in what you are doing, what you want, and how you feel about going about it. You can’t lie to yourself and say, “I’m a Dominant” or “I’m a submissive.” Neither is something you can lie to yourself about and get away with. The cracks and doubts will show. Members of the Community and potential partners will notice. You have to know… Honestly… to what degree you are what you are, or want to be, or you will fail at it. Secondly, you have to be Honest about whatever you talk about to a potential partner AND others in the Community. If you are lying to a potential partner or others in the Community, you are either a fake, hiding behind a wall of lies about your past and the words you have heard or read from respectable people in the Community, or a predator, lying to attain what you want with disregard of another. Again, the members of the Community will find you out, because neither is acceptable. And third, you have to be Honest at all times with the partner you finally match with. There can be no lies told to avoid confrontation. There can be no silence when you have an issue that you want to ignore for the sake of peace in the relationship. The lies and the silences will only grow and multiply while the problems and issues ferment until they explode like a shaken beer to drench the relationship is turmoil. Being Honest with your partner isn’t always easy. Discussing issues never is, but with Honesty, and caring and the willingness to Listen and adapt, you are more likely to have Trust and Respect from your partner, and these, along with Communication and Honesty, will carry the relationship so much further than lies and silences. © 1/15/23 Ronald Dirienzo
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so often we are a mix of the two.
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well written and so important in this type of relationship. thanks ron
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Honesty and trust go hand in hand and grow together. Good stuff Ron. Thank you foe sharing
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