Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

rondiri 65M
7311 posts
4/8/2023 6:10 pm

Last Read:
4/9/2023 6:50 pm

Balance


Article in comments

rondiri 65M
11202 posts
4/8/2023 6:11 pm

We all have to have a balance in life.
Even in BDSM, there should be a balance in what we do.
And to be clear, balance doesn’t always mean 50/50.
The first thing to balance when starting a dynamic is BDSM and daily life. There are so many things in life that have to be accounted for and balanced against the kinks and protocols of a dynamic. Vanilla likes and dislikes should be accounted for when picking a partner. And how much BDSM will take up the daily life during the dynamic. Work, education, family and friends, among other things all need to be accounted for in a dynamic.
When in a dynamic, The Dominant needs to balance tenderness with authoritarianism. Each submissive’s needs of one or the other will be different and the right balance should be maintained for a harmonious dynamic.
For a submissive, a balance must be maintained between their submission, and other parts of their life outside the dynamic, if any. Especially submissives with jobs that require them to take the lead and manage others.
The submissive brat should balance acting out against behaving, so their Dominant doesn’t decide it’s not worth it in the long run to deal with the brat
Partners must find a balance for scene play, so that things do not get boring or fall into a rut that leaves them wanting. The same can be true for discipline. Using a variety of ways to discipline keeps things interesting and can save wear and tear on the body of a submissive.
BDSM dynamics and the lifestyle add so many more things that need to have some kind of equilibrium so nothing feels like it’s all one sided and at a tipping point. There is no set percentage for the balance of anything. That must be decided by the partners since it has to fit their dynamic, and their lives in general.
But without some kind of balance, the dynamic, the way of living, will topple for any of dozens reasons.
© 4/8/23 Ronald Dirienzo


brandygirasol 55T
9437 posts
4/8/2023 6:40 pm

Sir Ron this is a very good article😎..... Mmmm a couple of thoughts... the balance in my relationship with my boyfriend is about HIM at 92& and ME at 08& ...Ha☺️ .... Plus HE is too strict for me to ever get bratty NO WAY😵.. but once in a great while I might forget myself and get bitchy then I may get slapped around or maybe not...🤪


rondiri replies on 4/8/2023 11:29 pm:

boh99 68M
3172 posts
4/8/2023 10:47 pm

sometimes it's that 10% that adds spice to life


manni_pr 52T
2610 posts
4/9/2023 1:57 pm

Balance sometimes is underrated, and often misunderstood, as it may come in different ways us all, as we are different from each other. But we all needed it. For some, it may come in way of being a switch. Just like some people find balance in being mostly or absolutely Dominant or submissive, some will only find it by being on both sides of the handle at times. Some may lean towards one side more than the other, but like you said, it doesn't have to be 50-50. It's about find and delve into what we enjoy and make us whole.


rondiri replies on 4/9/2023 6:50 pm:


Become a member to comment on this blog