Blog : The Ranch Hand

Blogs > rondiri > My thought's, fun and fiction

7307 posts
8/4/2023 2:07 pm

Last Read:
8/5/2023 3:57 am

The Ranch Hand

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11184 posts
8/4/2023 2:08 pm

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand...
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching..
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock and no hired hand.
Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.. "Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired

Armstrong2 78M

226 posts
8/4/2023 2:51 pm

A MAN GOES INTO A BAR

A man goes into a bar. On the stool next to him is a second man with a box. "What's in the box? The second man opens the box , and there is a small, perfectly detailed piano with a miniature man to play it. "That's great. Where did you get it?

The second man says "I met a genie. He said I could have one wish, and this is what I got. " The first man asks "do you think I could have a wish?"

So they go to where the genie is and the man asks for one wish. "I wish I had a million bucks." Suddenly the air is filled with quacks, feathers all over. "No no, I said a million Bucks not Ducks." The other man says "What do you think i asked for, a 10 inch pianist?"

rondiri replies on 8/5/2023 3:55 am:

UR_Fantazee 27F

7057 posts
8/4/2023 2:56 pm

.
There's an old Billy Connolly joke about two wee Glasgow guys in the pub.
One turns to the other and says.
"See when I get home tonight, the first thing I'm going to do is rip the wife's knickers off!"
"You're feeling that horny then?"
"Naw. The elastic's really hurting my legs....."