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rondiri 65M
7307 posts
1/11/2024 11:20 am

Last Read:
1/12/2024 5:16 am

Obey/Obedience


article in comments

rondiri 65M
11180 posts
1/11/2024 11:20 am

This is really a cornerstone of submission. If you can obey your Dominant, you are not submissive at all, or you have the wrong Dominant.
But I see different types of obedience.
Blind Obedience
SSC Obedience
Brat Obedience (though many do not include brats in the submissive category)
Blind Obedience can be the most dangerous of all. Many novices have it through being naïve about it and the basic concepts of BDSM. Blind Obedience cannot be attained and should not be given at the drop of a hat, after a few online chats, after a few in person meets, after a few play sessions, sometimes even after years in a dynamic together.
To give Blind Obedience you should have 1000% trust in your partner. Not 100%, ONE THOUSAND percent. You should have immense trust in not only their moral and ethical values, but their knowledge of the concepts of the BDSM lifestyle AND their abilities and skills with the kinks they enjoy. You have to have explicit trust that you will not be harmed. Hurt? In many cases, definitely. But NOT harmed, physically, emotionally or mentally. That kind of trust takes a lot of time, patience and experience.
SSC Obedience (Safe, Sane & Consensual) is obeying when you are sure the command is safe, sane & consensual. Obeying AFTER you have thought and decided it is not out of bounds, one of your limits or dangerous. I know, I know, the memes say the best/only answer is always “Yes Sir/Ma’am”. But that isn’t always true. You should never obey a command that goes against your consent, limits, capabilities or the law. This is real life, not a fantasy. Everything doesn’t always work out perfectly. Trust for a blanket “yes Sir/Ma’am” is earned over a great deal of time. As much as a submissive is supposed to rely on the Dominant to protect them, this is the real world. You have to protect yourself as the last line of defense. Just in case you made a mistake giving your trust. It happens all too often.
Brat Obedience is like a game. The brat will feign disobedience to get a desired reaction from the Dominant. It really isn’t much different than “SAMs”. Smart Assed Masochists. The big difference is brats take it further and more often. But in the end, they SHOULD obey, whether they get the desired reaction from the Dominant or not. A brat should always be prepared to pay the price for their actions, even if it isn’t what they were looking for. If a “brat” can’t accept that, or goes too far, too often they ARE NOT brats, they are just either disobedient or poor submissives. Maybe because they just aren’t truly submissive in nature or the Dominant can’t handle a brat or maybe is a poor Dominant. While brats can be fun, they can also be aggravating and annoying to some Dominants.
But when it comes down to it, any submissive should be careful to whom they obey in any manner.
This isn’t “we’re married if I find I can’t trust them, I’ll get a divorce”.
This is, “This person could put me in a helpless position and do ANYTHING to me, and I won’t be able to stop it”.
The intensity of BDSM puts an emphasis on trusting and obeying only those you can TRULY rely on to keep you safe.
© 1/11/24 Ronald Dirienzo


msfunfor 63M
10771 posts
1/11/2024 11:34 am

is there a typo in the second sentence ?
can === as opposed to can not


rondiri replies on 1/12/2024 5:16 am:
oops

bikerforslut 64M
329 posts
1/11/2024 11:46 am

Very good advice for the green horns and newbies. My current sub and I met on here and spent a month or so getting to know each other, before she moved from California to here. It payed off I guess, we have been together about 8 years now.


msfunfor 63M
10771 posts
1/11/2024 12:43 pm

    Quoting bikerforslut:
    Very good advice for the green horns and newbies. My current sub and I met on here and spent a month or so getting to know each other, before she moved from California to here. It payed off I guess, we have been together about 8 years now.
Nice !
a positive story


brandygirasol 55T
9433 posts
1/12/2024 2:57 am

😎


rondiri replies on 1/12/2024 5:16 am:


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