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25 june 0821hrs change of places for nilla date same times just at Billy Hundreds Fish n Tapas, and not olivers. seems ilivers has double boked out table ? so now going to Billy's. still not sure if i should go, it still feels like 'cheating' even though im not<b> cheating </font></b>on anyone as im not with anyone anymore. again im wondering do other people ever feel like this or is it just me ? strange, when i had some one i could tell anything to about how i was feeling i didnt, becuase i didnt know how to, now i dont have anyone, and i know how to not bottle things up and express myself, its all i want to do is let out how im feeling and thinking. maybe i should have talked more before but that might have just bored the shit out of them, Id beg for some forgiveness but begings not my business. Funny how song lines keep jumping into my head, even from music i wouldnt have activley listened to before. I just dont know about so many things anymore. I have this mental image in my head , of a teddy bear, with a big split in iys side with the stuffing falling out, as fast as the teddy tries to put it back in, it comes out some where else, thats me, a split teddy bear GOT my disabled ticket to The darkness, they atre the suporting band i have no idea who the main feature is, its the darkness im going to see £96.85, strange price ? at wembly. in the new year , THOUGH THE ONE DAY IM DREADING IS 2 JAN, my birthday when everything bad started, i have no idea how im going to make it through that day !!!! AND IL BE 63, one year nearer the dreaded will you still love me when im 64 day, |
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