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25 june 1818hrs this afternoon went into town in my luv scooter as parking would have been zero and it was, most of FDsgenham, Romford Tilbury and Grays was in southend,. found my vetrans badge and pibbed it to my shirt and watched the young men in camo walk along what i call the high street in a upright military fashion. Soldiers Sallos Airmen and RMCmds 2 bands pumping out military marches then the cadet forces then the boy scouts and boys brigade ?, In the RAF detachment either side at the front where 2 handlers, one with an attack GS the other a springer spanel FX , nearly everyone had the same medals i had once, that collectivly every one in my section sold so Cpl Luke i cant remember his SURNAME name, isnt that terible ? could take his 7 YEAR OLD to Disney World in Orlando in the USA, before he died of cancer of almost everything you can hove cancer of, who said guarding nukes was safe ? Some how british airways got hold of the storey and refunded his family tickets and upgraded them to EXEC SUPER CLUB CLASS, ? DISNEY CORP, bless them, refunded the resort hotel and resort fees, and also moved them into THE BEST HOTEL THEY HAD IN A SUIT, AND MADE IT ALL EXPENSES PAID WITH FREE ENTRY TO THE PARK AND NO QUEING FOR THE RIDES, they also laid on a car and driver and VIP entrance to sea world and epcot centre and no car ride back to the airport, a helecopyer took them, why ???? Because he had been attached to the USMC in the gulf 1 , as the corp didnt have any FX , bomd / explosive detection dogs, at that time !!! Give em their dues the Spams look after their own ! He wanted to give us back the medal money, but collectivly we agreed to donate it in ways, one to the RAF BEN FUND, 2 to British legion and 3 to cancer reaserch . Medals dont mean much , they ae only badges to say you where their at a cettain time and place and you where to stupid to get a proper job and the military was the only thing left open to you, They dont make you a hero, the REAL HEROS are the ones who didnt come back, or came back leaving bits of thenselfs 'THERE' limbs, body parts or their minds. Those THAT where 'there' all know what collectivly we did and was done and thats enough. Thats one of the reasons i wont have a bad word said about P Harry, we may not have been in the shit at the same time but we all shared the same crap and the same que at the burger bat at camp Bastion !!! the fight for a double whooper could be wicked.! Anyway, in southend today, pressent a valid service ID card or vetrans badge at burger king, macy dees KFC pizze exprees or dominos today and you got a free meal . NICE to get something back. I met some good ol boys, mstly fucking paras, why do they go round in packs ? in burger king. They where taking the piss out of me a bit for being former RAF Police.. Oh deployed to a 3 star hotel , oh no room service is 'roughing it' that sort of thig till i told them i was former, i will never say ex again, former QPD FX, Qualified Handler Expolsive detection dog. After that it was all pats on back and big THANK YOUS all round, but the NEW CHRIS pointed out WE WHERE ALL IN THE SAME TEAM, and thats what mattered.! On a wed these old boys and a few others meet for a breakfast club ay 0800hrs at the big Rossi ice cream place on the sea front. where they get everything HALF PRICE, why ? seems the CEO of Rossi's is an ex, no former Major in Duke and Boots Reg, part of the Queens Div. and I WILL BE GOING ! Tonight,,,,reconciled to the fact im not else where, doing what i used to do care , i thought cherish, support and provide for, offer transport , but thats the way things have panned out. choices where made, decissions arrived at, hearts shattered and left broken in a london street. I should have kept my mouth shut, i should have let some one cool down, i should have just left them alone for a while i shouldnt have asked pointed questions that only had a yes or no answer. BUT NO OLD CHRIS COULDNT LEAVE IT ALONE COULD HE ? maybe its for the best for some and bad for me, only time will tell. but AT LEAST some ones happy, which strangley is all i ever wanted to do was make them.happy, Big date tomorrow , but im in two minds, having commited so much emotional umph into the last relationship, am i prepaired to do that again, i dont ever want to feel so broken again as i did/ do now. is it fair on any one else to commit to a full blown live affair when really my heart is partly some where else. ? That teddys stuffing just had more spilled out or do i just keep on trying to move forward even though i still dnt want to if it wasnt for Jamie, i think id just cut my phone off, and mive to a tent in some dark corner of dartmoor and wait to see how long it takes. I feel like as john mellncamp put it , life goes on, long after the thril of living is gone,,,NOW WHERE DID I DRAG THE 'DITTY OF MELL AND DIAN from ? correct me if i got the sing tite wrong |
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