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The Dreaded Switch...And My Secret Formula To Life And Love! I've been in and out of the lifestyle for nearly 20 years. And I've seen peoples faces when you tell them you are a switch. I've heard the remarks like "Player" and "Swinger" and so on. It seems most people who are strictly Dominant or Submissive have a hard time understanding the mindset of the Switch. But I have seen a shift in attitudes and acceptance for the better concerning others who chose to live and play differently. 20 years ago, BDSMers and Swingers did not mix. Now we have local dungeons right next door to swinger clubs. Personally, My kink has been pulled from both<b> lifestyles. </font></b>But this post is intended to provide insight into the mind of a switch... based on my experiences and opinions. My intent is not to insult, but enlighten. You be you, and let me be me. I believe many of us started off in the lifestyle as a submissive. That seems to be the logical way to learn from experience. It's often been my belief that someone who has played the submissive role, makes for a better Dom. Logic might say that the more one submits, the better Dom they become. Yes, I have had several discussions about this with people who disagree... and that's ok. Now let me discuss the power exchange. When two switches come together, the chase adds to the excitement. Who's going to Dominate who tonight? Should I take what I what, or do I feel like providing the gift of my submission? I guess it depends on how my day went. Domination is a lot of work! As you know it requires a lot of forethought, some planning, and attentiveness during the scene and after. The submissive often just hangs there and enjoys what you are giving them. It often makes me wonder just who is Dominating who? LOL. I have found that the best relationships I have had in life is with two equal partners that have a mutual respect for each other. I don't want to dominate someone's every step in life. I'm attracted to women who have succeeded in life. So there is no need to dominate someones every step. Therefore, I chose to keep my BDSM play to the bedroom... and not really to the outside life (probably because I'm a player... lol). What better way to enforce equality than to switch it up in the bedroom? What better way to build TRUST than to operate by the motto: Do unto other's as you would have them do unto you? A good philosophy to follow... no matter what you think of the bible. I've experienced this kind of relationship, and it was magical, epic, and the kind of relationship most people dream about, and never achieve. That's my secret formula for the perfect relationship. I'm sure you have your own. And that's ok! If we all felt the same, life would be incredibly boring! So you might be asking yourself, "What happened to this beautiful relationship"? Well, she passed away, and now watches over me from a different place, hoping I'll find peace, love, and happiness again. We live our lives in episodes. As for me, I look forward to this new episode in my life, and all the opportunities it may provide. Now that I know exactly what I want, I won't settle for less! Ask yourself, do you know exactly what you want? What are you willing to do to get it? Should you change your mindset? We should all be always evolving. I guess we are all trying to figure it out on one level or another. As for me, I plan to have a lot of fun searching for my special switch. Special Thanks to Empress Mysti who has helped me put all the pieces together and understand exactly who I want to be, and who I want to be with in this crazy world. She's become a good friend in a short amount of time. The true love and compassion she has for the betterment of others is truly amazing. |
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