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Age Gaps? (mostly) Can anything good come from a relationship at my age. I understand growth comes from mistakes and learning and that will come from relationships at my age. But I kindof wonder about the people who are intrested in me. To start it is only ever online, idk I guess in person I have a really good invisblity cloak. And they are usually older then me. I am not someone who is by any means against age gaps in fact all of my "relationships" have been age gaps. But I also look really young like people have thought I'm 12 or 10 in person though usually its something like 16. I also don't come off that stable and healthy though I guess that can be considerded heart on my sleeve honestly. And going back to growth coming from being in relationships then I'm basically a 5 year old in a relationship when it comes to in person stuff and a 9 year old when it comes to the amount of time I've done online relationships. I guess its weird when I was younger I knew anyone older then 18 who liked me was a bad person now I still feel like I'm the same age but things arent as black and white. The majority of my immediate family finds age gaps in relationships to be immoral, creepy, and abusive. My therapist (who looks at it through a research perspective) believes age gaps are okay between older people but detrimental to younger people such as myself. I don't know what the truth is. It is entirely possible that I am only so pro age gaps because I'm defense since I've been in them for the past 4 years and don't want to have to look at myself as a victim. I know this is a biased place to ask but what is your open on age gaps? And what age do they become ok at, do you look at legality and if so if you visited a country where the age of consent was 14 (which is many countries western ones included) would you follow that or do you follow personal morality (for instance 25 or older because the brain on average becomes fully developed at 24 for girls and 25 for guys)? |
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Sunny you are young, irrespective of what relationships you have been in. You are at an age where you are exploring your sexuality and experiencing what is out there. The thing is that IF you are making informed decisions then that is great, but if you are being lead into situations without knowing about those situations and consequences in ADVANCE, then you are in the wrong place for this phase of your life. You need to look around and find someone who is willing to help educate you on both life in general, and this kinky life in particular. Situations you find yourself in should be as a result of what YOU want, not what someone else wants. You talked about age gaps. Well if you are with the right person who connects with you, and who only wants the best for you, then age doesn't matter that much if that is what you BOTH want. As a 68 year old guy, would I want to have a relationship with you? Possibly, IF there was a connection, but it would need to be a strong connection. You asked about older having a relationship with someone aged 14, if that was the legal age in the relevant country, the answer would have to be NO. As I said before, whatever relationship you go into has to be as a result of an informed decision, and at 14, even if that was the legal age, the 14 year old has absolutely no idea of what to expect, has no idea of what consequences are to follow. You/they should be learning about life in a safe way, not being a wife or mother at such a young age, and THAT is the difference between our current societies and the societies of other countries. You/they should be learning about life, possibly working towards having a career where they can guide their own lives, where they can make a future for themselves. Some of those other countries/societies discard non-virgins after a relationship breaks down. I have seen some guys and girls in their mid 20s make woeful decisions and end up in bad places, just as I have seen others in their 30s end up in shit lives, all because they didn't make informed decisions, so age has no real determining factor, BUT information about life does. So go and explore, BUT learn about life along the way BEFORE you decide to make something or someone PERMANENT in your life.
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1/23/2023 4:49 pm |
I am a believer in age gaps, but there does need to be a connection between the people. I tend to be primarily physically attracted to the young side of the age spectrum, and would follow the age of consent laws wherever I was located, whether that age was 14, 16, 18 or something else in terms of physical interactions. That said for a relationship there must be a connection of some sort, shared interests, common goals, to form the basis of a relationship. When an older individual gets into a relationship with someone substantially younger, at least part of the older persons responsibility is to help guide the younger person towards safe choices, while helping the younger person explore the things they want to experience. As the younger person grows in knowledge and certainty of what they want that dynamic can change over time so that the two individuals can support one another in a relationship, as even partners with age no longer a stumbling block.
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if it feels good...do iT if they treat you good...go w iT if you like iT...explore iT if you want it...don’t deny iT be you be true to yourself always don’t let others ever tell you how to be you or what’s right for you!
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Good advice from both NoNonsense and pervert. Young and naive as you are, you are setting yourself out on a dangerous path. Everything you have said so far has painted a large target for predators. DO NOT EXCHANGE ANY SORT OF IDENTIFYING INFORMATION. Do NOT follow any requests or orders to communicate one on one elsewhere. What they are doing is cutting you out of the herd - Isolating you from any and everyone who might sound the alarm. LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED! What you learn under those circumstances will be FEAR for life and limb. Use the chatrooms. There are many long time members who can offer you a plethora of good advice.
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The gap will be immoral and creepy when someone your age puts themselves on an alternative adult dating site. A better question might be to ask yourself why you are seeking a creepy, immoral, taboo dating dynamic instead of dating within your own age group? This is not a group that answers questions about morality, appropriate, socially acceptable . . We are the people your mother warned you about. The age gap is the least of your worries!
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Many young women find safety with an older man. They find the Daddy/daughter relationship one that helps them grow. Many older men have the patients to slowly bring a young slave along. I, for one, am a sadist. But I would never use a novice slave anything close to leaving a mark on her. By taking it slow will giver her the knowing just how far she really wants to go. Some stop at the "friends with benefits" stage. Some will go on to the TPE stage and some will make the relationship even closer with a marriage license. Then you could also add in the racial difference with your Master/Dom. Being able to go out into public hanging onto a white man's are will be a confidence builder for you,. TAKE YOUR TIME! You still have a lot of growing up to do. Best wishes on your search. Write to me if you need further explanations.
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Age gaps are an intensely personal choice. They've worked well for me and for a few young women I know who tried them, but they're certainly not for everybody and I'd advise against them for most women your age. There's a blog here written by Shona, a very exceptional Scottish girl roughly your age, parts of which deals with her very successful relationship with a considerably older man. You'll find it at this link UR_Fantazee . I think Alan (NoNonsense_Dom) who posted above, would recommend Shona's blog to you as well. Shona's take on age gaps would probably give you a better perspective on what you're asking about than anyone else might.
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Age gaps are an intensely personal choice. They've worked well for me and for a few young women I know who tried them, but they're certainly not for everybody and I'd advise against them for most women your age. There's a blog here written by Shona, a very exceptional Scottish girl roughly your age, parts of which deals with her very successful relationship with a considerably older man. You'll find it at this link UR_Fantazee . I think Alan (NoNonsense_Dom) who posted above, would recommend Shona's blog to you as well. Shona's take on age gaps would probably give you a better perspective on what you're asking about than anyone else might. This is what I was getting at in my first comment on your topic.
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. Dreamcatcher / Alan - Wow - I'm seriously blushing now! Sunny - I saw your comment and replied there... Just get in touch again in the same place and we can get a conversation going  Shona xx  "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
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. Dreamcatcher / Alan - Wow - I'm seriously blushing now! Sunny - I saw your comment and replied there... Just get in touch again in the same place and we can get a conversation going Shona xx There's nothing more I can think of to say to you But all you have to do is look at me to know That every word is true Apologies to Andrew and Tim
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