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Hiya! Mty name is KiTTy and i have a random iquiry hello, i have a random inquiry for you... i am seeking a femdom guide or trainer and teacher type person so i may take on an understanding of the styles that my husband so dearly desires and even has valued so dearly to stay in his life that we've had issues, but a long while ago now. either way, i am seeking someone who knows what they are doing to teach me how to do what he really wants. we have watched videos and i have gone through the toys and motions that hes looking for but no matter how much i think is going well he is not happy or feeling good about it or taking it the way all of the appreciatives do when they are told to... however i find myself remembering that i am a woman who loves it in every hole and the feelings behind the getting to that good point, i cant feel through the tip of my strap ons so i do what in see and it doesnt feel good to him... i am looking for someone who is willing to take me on as her in person apprentice for a few sessions with thier own subs so i may ask questions and really absorb the concept finally. i just want to get a couple very informative sessions so i can goi back home to and the bed and house i have made and blow his freaking top off.   |
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Welcome to the blogs. Best to you in your search for info. But I have to say, from what you have written, my suspicion is no matter what you do, he is looking for someone to dominate him, who he is not so intimate or involved with. That is quite often the case with submissives .Simply, they desire to be dominated by someone they don't live with day to day. This may or may not be the case, but don't be surprised if it is. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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Not sure I understood your post, but if I did, I think he is quite a bit of a lazy boy. He seems to think that it is all up to you to provide him with the ultimate sexual satisfaction that he is dreaming about, but not really able to even fully describe to you. It's at least as much his responsibility to make this work and to help you to help him live this out. If he just sits back and expects things to happen and then complains that it was not in the right way, he really should go into himself and find out what he actually wants.
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Well written post, sletje1999, and I fully agree with your observations.
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I can help you with your problem it may take more than a couple of sessions depending on your skills and what you have to learn to excite him again, with just you are liking it in all your holes. Maybe he needs to be controlled and you make him preform for your needs.
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Hm...well sounds like you may be a natural submissive & no matter how hard you try you can’t be what you aren't...Hubby might not ever be able to see or accept you in that role why he’s not satisfied or he wants something someone entirely different then you?! good-luck
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Great questions ... answers will flow like water
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5/8/2023 3:43 pm |
Not sure I understood your post, but if I did, I think he is quite a bit of a lazy boy. He seems to think that it is all up to you to provide him with the ultimate sexual satisfaction that he is dreaming about, but not really able to even fully describe to you. It's at least as much his responsibility to make this work and to help you to help him live this out. If he just sits back and expects things to happen and then complains that it was not in the right way, he really should go into himself and find out what he actually wants.
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Kitty...first off...it's always great to reach out to the community for advice. But hopefully you live near a city/ a larger bdsm community and can get some hands on training in this matter. Second..never be shy with this desire..strap on is very common and Dommes are more than happy to talk about it. Third..his pleasure? I don't think there is a magic button one can just push. You either naturally enjoy anal penetration like myself ( I've been fucked by dick and strap on) Don't like it..or Channel it as humilation, submission...and just sorta do it. My advice? And this is coming from a gay bottom dude...most men don't like anal penetration because there is a lack of prep work. There is pain involved With m2m the top just doesn't slam it home. He works the hole,stretches it out with his fingers. He let's the bottoms hole adjust to the girth in him... So there is very little pain when he enters with his cock. Second I'd suggest the best way to literally get a dick into him,get him past the fear/ pain...is to have him ride the strap on cowboy up..him riding it. This allows the male time to adjust to the initial pain of penetration,allows him to control the speed and depth..and quickly he will open up now clear to plow him normally...without any discomfort/ pain Third..ALOT of people think bigger is better..when it comes to strap ons...but the normal cock is less than 6 inches..and is quite pleasurable in ones ass/ works well. And your basically hitting the sweet spots..the prostate..only like 2 inches in...and all the nerve endings at the holes opening.. So you don't need a honking huge dildo..if anything a smaller one is easier to control and thrust.. Finally anal fun isn't so much about length...it's thickness..most of the sensation comes from stretching his hole with a thick dildo.. And one can progress to thicker and thicker dildos or even fist...with really any harm or damage. My last advice...let him know strap on isn't a kink or part of your sexual routine...it is now sex for him. So every time you get busy..I'd suggest playing in his hole,working his prostate, require him to wear a butt plug when he gets in bed,tell him to buy a vibrator one etc.. I'd try to seperate the concept of this being kink.. This is now your regular routine in the bedroom.. He's getting fucked
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Kitty, as a dominant, I find it imperative that I get into the head of my sub. I need to know them as well or even better than they know themselves. Now having said that, I think that your hubby is not being totally honest with you, and that deep down, he is hiding something from you. YOU need to get into his head and work out what his secret is. Think back through your years in the relationship and see if you can remember things that seemed a bit strange at the time, but did nothing about. There will be tell tale signs. Once you have worked out what those signs were, then get him drunk, don't play, just drunk to the point where he becomes chatty and lets his facade down, and take notice of everything that comes out of his mouth, or how he reacts when you mention various things. There will be indicators here too. What type of porn does he watch and what seems to get him extra horny. Once you have done that, then search for a Domme who may guide you into dominating him. There is no point in getting any guidance from anyone until you have looked inside his head. If you want to chat more about this process, you can message me through the private mail section in my blog.
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