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What are the first signs that a female is sub? I'm curious, can you as a man know if a woman is sub at first sight? 
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Yes sometimes you can by their demeanor.
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I think it is very hard to look at someone and decide that are sub - or dom - at first sight. I suppose if you had exceptionally acute powers of observation and intuition - maybe.
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The darkest minds tend to be hidden behind the most unlikely faces.
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It is clear after just a few minutes. It is how they respond to the first few minutes of a conversation. That is how I found my two little girls.
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In my opinion, at first it must be very difficult, but perhaps there are certain gestures or behavior you can notice
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A certain deference; eyes often cast downward; a reluctance to speak or act without at some assent (You look like you want to say something - please go ahead). Even then. it is more a sense than a fact.
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In my opinion, at first it must be very difficult, but perhaps there are certain gestures or behavior you can notice
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No, I would never presume that a woman is a sub based on a first meeting. A bdsm relationship has to be based on trust, honesty. and a history of true communication. Call me old school but I'm fine with that.
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often times, I think people who are aware can pick up on it.
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9/11/2023 9:56 pm |
As soon I notice a woman I can tell. That conclusion is solidified as soon as we speak. I can't say exactly what observational clues I perceive. If it's a check list. It's done completely subconsciously. I'm never wrong. Maybe it's similar to the way a dog can tell friend or foe. Sometime's at a store I'll help a woman lift something heavy that she wants to put in her cart, and we'll talk briefly, and I'll sense the contact and I know she feels it too. Sometimes we'll exchange email addresses and sometimes not, but regardless the connection is felt. Sometimes she'll tell me her whole life's story. I don't have a problem striking up a conversation with a woman in a store because im not on the prowl for pussy. Women know when you're just trying to get into their panties. I met a submissive woman in Costco's parking lot. I saw that she was a lone and had a 40 pound bag of dog food. I walked up beside her with my cart an asked if I could lift that bag for her. walking to her car I said look over there it's a Maserati GranTurismo with a 4.7 liter v8. You don't see those too often, I said probably with a 6 speed manual. She said no its an automatic...Thats my car. I loaded up her dog food and we talked a bit and she said we don't we go get some coffee and maybe you can it for a spin. I really thought hard about that but declined saying I was in a hurry to to get home and run some errands, She gave me her number and I never did call her. Sorry I couldn't answer your question. I think a sub knows a dominant man when she sees one just as I know a submissive woman when I meet one. I think a man who calls himself dominant but can't tell a sub when he talking to her should reevaluate himself. Maybe he not what he thinks he is. I hope you have a great night.
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9/11/2023 11:07 pm |
Very interesting profile. tu hablas espanol? It's been a long time since I've been exposed to espanol. estar segura.
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Hello sub sumisa, Interesting question. I think experience comes into handy of course. The more interaction you have to with the opposite sex, the more you will be able to finetune your senses for detecting a sub or a dominate. For me personally, it is difficult to tell if a female is sub or not. Besides, it takes time to get to know someone because a first impression is just that...a first...! Even chemistry takes time to develop if the will is present. Due to my upbringing, I grew up with boys separated from the girls....boarding school....the army...And my few friends where always only males. Approaching females is not my strongest point, especially with the appearance of the LBGT...Me2 + BLmatter....All these Social changes don't make it any easier....at least speaking for myself. I've read all comments and everyone gives credible answers, which I completely agree with. P.S.: good luck with your new Blog and your present lactation training, sub!
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So first things first, I am not a man. However, the question is interesting in that is presumes that there is a physical presentation to ones sexuality and specifically BDSM role. I see this a being a question in two parts. * Can you identify a woman who already knows she is submissive on sight alone. * Can you identify a woman who may not know she is submissive on sight alone. For anyone who claims the latter I believe that you are projecting your desire and not necessarily being honest (with yourself or with her). Socially women are still "encouraged" to be demure and to defer to men; that does not necessarily make them submissive but may well her just de-risking encounters. The more important question is the first; can you tell if a woman who knows she is submissive is sub by sight alone. For this I would suggest considering the context of that interaction, in a club / dungeon / munsch then yes you can often tell by dress and behaviour. But what about other circumstances? The demure secretary in a boardroom can be the wild Dominatrix in her own environment (I know several and it is like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis whenever they decide to play, but they feel safe in that cocoon so return to it). Or it could be the strong business leader who needs to be bound, degraded and humiliated in her home life. For me the idea that you can tell someones role based on appearance alone is false; We can all dress in ways that give an impression; whether that is "looking hot" for a first date; or dressing down because we want a low interaction day as a woman I know I can change how others see me; every now and then I will even get out the "war paint" for a night on the town! If the question is then extended to "how do you know if someone is sub"; then that becomes a much more enjoyable conversation. But it starts there, with a conversation; some flirting, some double entendre's and then some "single entendre's and damn proud of it" (for anyone who has read Terry Pratchett). There is something beautifully enjoyable about a shared filthy thought, in a public and vanilla setting. Where you can talk around and explore each other intimately whilst remaining fully clothed and under the eyes of others. Thanks for bringing up an interesting conversation started. MBD
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I would never try to label someone just from looks alone. Within 5 minutes of starting a conversation I would have a much better chance of picking them. I have 45 or so years of kink and a whole lot longer of dating, and there are so many tell tale signs, but to try and pick just from looking, I wouldn't even try. That is why conversation is so important in this lifestyle.
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Hm...l can tell sometimes by what l see in their eyes as well how they talk interact w others & mannerisms sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised to find out somebody l thought was vanilla is a total experienced freak sometimes l think someone’s into kink & they’re totally vanilla as l become exposed the quiet shy ones tend to be the freakiest!
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I agree with many of the above comments; looks alone are not enough (unless it's at a BDSM event when there's a kind of code to how they're dressed/behaving). You need to talk and discuss to find out, ad sometimes even then, it's a hidden longing they can't put a name too, same as men. Sometimes you don't know what you need, just that it isn't what you're getting
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1 post 9/16/2023 10:41 am |
First meeting is no a proof OF KNOWING,and to me a sub chooses their DOM, ALWAYS REMEMBER THE SUB IS IN CONTROL Psychologically.they are the one who wants to be domanated by you
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Hi, I am not a man but I have a thought. She gets naked n keels with her plams up lol.
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I may pick up some clues in mannerisms and speech. But that could be misleading, specifically f younger folks who pick up language which is popular with their generation. Same would apply to those who seem to be dominant (and in the lifestyle) but are just like that becasue of career or familial situations. Best to you. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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10/2/2023 3:33 am |
It would depend is they are a sub in all aspects of their lives, or if being asub sexually is their release from the control they have in the rest of their lives.
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I would say no, you can not tell in every situation. Sure there are glaring examples that anyone would be able to identify. But then there are people like me who in a lot of scenarios don't really care how something happens or if it happens at all. I'll defer that decision to someone who does care and leave it at that. Many would view that as being somewhat submissive, but I'm not. I just don't care one way or the other. The last girl I was with that wanted an alpha male thought of me as something different because I don't demand everyone's attention and bark orders to people. I told her what she wanted was someone who wants to be perceived as an alpha male but isn't sure of themselves enough to believe it, thus the need to constantly reassure themselves. Being bossy doesn't make you an alpha in and of itself. Me personally, I don't follow anyone unless I choose to and I do whatever I want to, regardless of what anyone else thinks or does about it. I consider myself an alpha because I follow no one and I make my own decisions. I don't care if anyone follows along because they're not an important part of what I have going on. I told her it gets no more alpha than that and I still believe that. So, my point is that at first someone might see me as being submissive when I'm just being compliant, and there is a huge difference. I know this because of the reactions I get when it's something that I do care about and someone is tripping why I'm not bending on my position. So I imagine that can go with anyone else as well. So to the question again, not always but sometimes absolutely
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