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Safewords Do safe words take away from the experience and should I let someone know I am meeting for BDSM play? |
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you should always be given safe words by the Dom/me and yes if its the first meeting with someone new you should always set up a safe call where you can ring a friend during any meeting/play and if needed have a certain word or phrase that you say that lets your safe call know you are in trouble as a precaution . PSUK " Its better to burn out than fade away "
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Yes, and always put safety first. The point is to have fun and experience what you want but you don't want to end up on the evening news. Feel free to get ahold of me if you want to talk.
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This may be one of the most debated questions in kink... almost like the debate over "SSC" and "RACK". One benefit of meeting potential playmates in the "public" scene as opposed to a site like this is that one may observe either a top's or bottom's "style" prior to entertaining playing with them as well as assess their "standing" amongst their peers. From the bottom/sub perspective I've seen those who take on a "no limits" persona as well as those who have a long list of "do's and don'ts" as a precondition. As a general rule in my role as a "top" or "dominant" I would politely decline an invitation to play with either. Most of the "no limits" variety I met in the scene were either deeply disturbed people with a virtual death wish or "SAMS" - Smart-Ass Masochists - who invariably wanted to top from the bottom. On the flip side those with a ton of rules, safewords and signals were so engrossed with maintaining control of the scene they forgot to enjoy the ride. Satisfying "play" ultimately depends on a level mutual trust and complimentary expectations. So the bottom line is: Your Mileage May Vary. Of course... there is one "safeword" that will stop almost any scene - especially in a dungeon: a loudly screamed "What the FUCK are you doing!!!???"
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Yes, safe word, safe sign (in case gagged), and a safe call like a hour into the meeting. to someone who knows where you will be. You have no idea on a first meet what or who you will be running into. After the first meeting, you can take is as you feel it. If anyone objects to a safe word/sign/call, run, especially if they try and convince you otherwise by claiming you are not really submissive then or some such nonsense. Have fun.
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Yes use a safe word so the true limits can be tested.
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no safe words keep you safe & stretch your limits honesty is always best policy
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If you are a submissive, a safe word is mandatory. If you are a slave, then no safeword but a contract defining the owners boundaries and the slave's boundaries is mandatory. We are very interested in you visiting us. Leave a comment on our blog at Ds_seek_sub_slav. There are ways there to talk.....
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Blonde you have been given reasonable advice from varying aspects, and mine will fit in there somewhere as well. I am a dominant with over 40 years experience and have used safewords in the past, and I encourage that safe call to a trusted friend. The thing is, that you should NOT meet anyone until there is a level of trust built between you, and there should be several public meets before play is considered with them. During these public meets, reconfirm in various questions and ways what has been told to you during the pre-meet phase to ensure that what they have told you is actually what you are getting. Once you feel comfortable with them, then you can message them with the offer of play, but NOT until you feel comfortable in their presence. Remember, until you make a commitment, it is casual play and that basic activities should be explored. This is where you get to physically assess if they will keep to their word. As a dominant, the sub/slave's safety is paramount and MY responsibility. It is also MY responsibility to ensure YOU get what you crave from that play, within any specified limits. After we have a level of experience together those limits will be explored and ways will be found to push them without breaking them. You and the dominant should meet and reflect on those first few sessions so you can discuss whether you want more, the same or less for the next few sessions. You say you are more slave than sub, and that's fine, but if you have very little experience, then start out in the sub fashion where you can explore the various kinks that both you and your partner want to include more of. Also remember, YOU are the one that sets the limits as the sub, NOT the dominant. Once you have gained knowledge and experience, if the dominant is someone you want to continue seeing, then you can discuss changing your role to that of a slave. At least you will then have experience with the dominant and know with more certainty of whether you will be happy and safe within the dynamic. Remember, a true dominant will work with you on getting to this point. As a dominant, I need to get inside the head of my sub so that I know her as well or even better than she knows herself. Once this happens the need for safe words tends to be less critical, because I will know what she is craving and how to get her there, as well as what I want. Anyone that does not work with you on getting to this point is potentially dangerous.
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NO there so important to have and USE when you feel a need to
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12/16/2023 9:47 pm |
I'm sexually aroused by Shrek.
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Safewords should always be used. The only time they might not is between two trusted individuals who know each other well enough to see the signs of when limits are being pushed, and how far to push them. Even then, this carries much increased risk.
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Absolutely yes to both. I usually recommend having a prearranged time with a friend when you call to say things are going great and another when you are done. Trust is everything. There is really no such thing as a sane, 'No Limits' person. All have limits. A responsible Dom/me will find those in advance and stick to them like glue! They will also respect the use of any safe words/signals every time they are used.
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I do not use a safe word with a slave. I encourage for a trusted friend to be aware of a first meeting, including the time and place.
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Not that far away, lets see what we can work out
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