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Changes This went on for over a week and before long the intensity of the experience began to fade. I soon found myself once again looking for something new, something that would allow me those intense sensations I felt when this all started. Then late one night, I'd almost given up on my search, I hit play on a new video and the first thing it showed was an erect cock spewing gobs of thick yummy cum. I sat mesmerized as the slick sticky cum flowed from the beautiful cock, down over the shaft. There were new scenes as well but this one kept showing up periodically and each time I'd feel that familiar twinge of pleasure rising inside me. There was the regular music and colors, it was the video shorts that had changed, as well as something else. I barely noticed it the first few sessions, but I soon realized it was the talking in the background, too soft to really make out but it was there. I repeated this video several times over the next few weeks, then one night after my first orgasm, I was running the video again, I began to make out the voices in the background. "You want it", "Taste it", "Love it", was all I could really make out. As I watched, I caught myself licking my lips each time the clip would show up. It was then that I realized the voices were right, I did want it, I did want to taste it, and I did love it the idea of seeing cum spew from a hard cock. The feeling became so strong that I began searching for videos of cumming cocks. The very first site depicted guys stroking their wonderful cocks to climax. I clicked on the first one and was fascinated as the video switched to slow motion just at the moment of climax. These videos were strangely exciting and I watched several more before I had to relieve my built up sexual tensions. The orgasm I had was powerful and the waves of pleasure coursed through me for several long minutes, leaving me panting in order to catch my breath. As I sat there, I began considering the changes I had undergone over the last several months, my first experience with my ex.'s panties, the videos, purchasing my own new thong panties, discarding all of my little boy underwear, now this strange feelings of sexual arousal when viewing male orgasms. I had to think about where this was leading and the thoughts that were going through my head were unsettling. It all felt so strange but somehow it was comforting as well. It was like trying a new food, one that you had avoided but were suddenly forced to try, and finding that you actually liked it. I had never thought about dressing in women's clothes before, never considered a man's orgasm to be something I find interesting much less sexually arousing, yet here I was. I was confused by my bodies responses to everything now, yet somehow it felt right. I decided to give the whole thing a rest for a bit. Give myself time to consider what was happening or least time to try and understand it. For the next week, I fought the urges my body threw at me, which made sleep difficult because it was at night the feelings were strongest. I persevered and purposely avoided the computer. When I started feeling those desires rising up, I'd find something to take my satisfying myself. This worked for the first week, but as I started a new week, my plans began to unravel. It started on Monday afternoon, just before I finished up for the day. I had an overwhelming desire to touch my small cock, not just touch but to fondle myself. Just thinking about it had my little cock on the rise, pressing against the thin material of my pink panties. The sensations were maddening. Though I resisted the impulses, my 3" cock began oozing precum, soaking my thong panties making concentration even more difficult. I considered a quick bathroom break to ease the stress, but managed to make it until quitting time and hurried to my Prius to head home. The drive home was miserable and by the time I reached the house, I had a raging tiny hard on. No sooner than I had gotten in the door, then headed to the computer room to seeking some relief for myself. I navigated to the new video and almost as soon as I saw the first huge cock exploding with a massive load of cum, I was myself spouting small globs of cum. I sat panting, staring down at the mess I had made. Cum had shot out over the key board, onto my chair and desk, even some on the floor. Before I quite realized it I was greedily sucking and licking everything clean. After a few minutes, I sat back sucking the last of my delicious cum from my fingers. The taste of it was amazing, it's yummy goodness fed the desire I felt rising inside me. I wanted more, but knew that wasn't going to happen at least until my thin body recovered some. Later, after I had cleaned up, my brain began working again. I was out of control again, allowing my desires for cock to control me. What had happened to me? Where was this leading me? These thoughts flashed through my now clearing mind. I was worried that if I continued it might get completely out of hand and cost me my job. I had to do something, what I wasn't sure. Still, there was a nagging feeling deep inside, a feeling that could only be soothed by cum. Just thinking of it had my clitty rising again, ready to provide my next sweet delicious liquid fix. The next few days seemed to get better. The feelings were still there, but they had been satisfied for now. I knew they were still there, I could feel them waiting, ready to rise and take over giving the right stimulation. For now though, I was managing to keep things in check. I understood I had become a slave to my sexual desires and the limits of those desires were expanding, demanding more as things progressed. . I understood I had become a slave to my sexual desire for cock and cum and the limits of those desires were expanding, demanding more as things progressed. Where this would lead I wasn't sure nor was I sure I cared. More days past, all ending much the same, until just as it had before the feelings began to lessen. Nothing drastic, but each session seemed a little less satisfying. I knew where this was leading, I'd soon have to seek something new to quell the inner demon. I wondered just where this journey would take me, how far was I willing to go. I knew I couldn't keep going this way without some drastic changes, so I fought the urge and tried to maintain where I was for now. I wasn't sure just how long I could hold out but I had to try. Little did I understand that I really no longer had any choices. The changes were subtle, so much so that I never realized what was happening at first. I continued my sessions as usual, but found I needed my release more often than my planned schedule allowed, so the first change was a gradual increase until I would find myself at my computer every night after work. I resisted the urge to look for something new and kept to the videos I had already seen. I'd get home from work, spend time to dress up and make myself feminine, then sit at my computer until I was exhausted and spent. This was my routine until I began to subconsciously change something. Nothing drastic, just a little something here and there, the first was what I wore to work. I had been wearing pink thong panties for a while now, but I soon added thigh high stockings, pink of course, or pantyhose to the mix. One morning as I dress, I had put on a shirt made of a thin material and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I noticed that my hard nipples showed as they pressed against the thin material. After work, the thought returned about my sensitive nipples and the memory of the sight strangely excited me. As I dressed for my session, I absently pinched my nipples. They were soon erect and pulling with them produced sensations in my small clitty. I hadn't expected that, put they must be wired directly. Lightly tweaking them between my fingers sent little waves of pleasure through my hard clitty. My nipples were very big and I hadn't ever noticed the before now, suddenly the thought of teasing them was sexual pleasing. I began playing with them during my sessions, so much so that only after a few nights, they became tender and a little sore. I needed to find out how to fix this because now that I had discovered how much pleasure they brought I was reluctant to stop. Then I tried making my thumb and index finger very cold with an ice cube ....... OMG, this was heavenly! I knew women often derived pleasure from nipple play but hadn't known that boys could as well. I did some research online and was surprise by how much information was available on the subject. Nipples were an erogenous zone for some bois like me or could become one for most men with a little effort. I discovered that my nipples were pretty normal for a man, but sissy bois who did experience pleasure usually had larger more pronounced nipples. This brought about more research in how to make my nipples even larger. My research told me that the nipples could be enlarged with consistent pinching, pulling, and twisting, seems this was very popular among the gay community, but the results were mixed and usually didn't produce much of a change. If I really wanted larger more sensitive nipples I would have to start some sort of daily exercise. No problem, even on my drive to the office! Again the internet provided everything I needed, there were suction devices that could help, different types of manual exercises that would also aid in making my nipples larger. With credit card in hand and the internet as a guide, I soon had several different devices ordered. Amazon is wonderful, and printed out instructions on some ways to coax growth from my aiready big nipples. I began the exercises right away, while the devices came in the mail over the next week or so. It was exciting, almost like Christmas for a sissy boi. Each night when I got home, I'd check the mail to see if something new had come in. When I did receive something a new play session was the order of the night. Though I didn't really notice much of a change at first, after several weeks I began noticing that my nipples stood even farther out against my shirts and each night during my sessions, I got a little more pleasure from manipulating them. Now I find shirts that show off my big nipples and watch for men staring at my chest, pink polo shirts are great and send 2 messages to the real studs out there looking a submissive and obedient sissy boi like me. Do they just assume I have a tiny clitty also, maybe! |
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