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Bittersweet Surrender So I'm going to try posting my actual blog in the comments. I really hate this format, and I wish the Alt monkey's would just let me post my blog without removing random words. They seem to have a visceral dislike for contractions as well. |
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In my opinion (and yours may vary) there is a difference between submission and surrender. Submission is like a pool; you can dip a toe in, or wade into the shallow end, you can splash about in the middle, or one can cannonball into the deep end. I can see the D/s dynamic being a constant in a relationship, whether watching tv, cuddling on the couch, out with friends or night on the town. Surrender is like a tsunami that threatens to drown you. For me, I am concerned, if I surrender myself completely to another, how do I ever find my way back to “me”? I am rayne. A fully formed human being. If I give that someone else, and keep giving and keep giving until I’m all gone, what is left? A new rayne? A better rayne? The rayne I’m supposed to be? No rayne? Are autonomy and surrender mutually exclusive? Is surrender a constant? If I give myself fully to Him, and He gives Himself fully to me, does that make us “equal”? Neither one empty, but both full? That deep a submission frightens me, and intrigues me at the same time. Is that level even possible for me? I don’t know. It would take quite a bit of time in a relationship before I ever got to that point I think. Does one run to surrender, or does it creep up on you on little cat feet? Musings for a cold, clear Sunday.
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"Does one run to surrender, or does it creep up on you on little cat feet?"......I think that's the key. We have to approach it with caution and let that pool surround us with warm water.
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From my point of view submission has so many forms and can be non sexual....To surrender is what I consider the ultimate form of submission. Truly a beautiful thing to behold, no not every sub is capable and not every Dom can guide you there. It very much depends on the two minds and how entwined they are. I think you are so worried about what happens to YOU...........You fail to see what changes are possible within yourself. Did you not evolve many times as you matured? I am not the same Man I was at 18 or 25. With the mindset you have I do not think surrender is an option for you. You have always held part of yourself back for that very reason......Fear is a very powerful emotion that I wish I understood much better. I will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth
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Never every give up your sense of you. Surrender, your personality and sense of well being at the request of another or on your own. Just don't do that. I suppose there is an interpretation of surrender here, to me surrender in the context of your writing here may be not having control of yourself. But to me, surrender means total trust and unlimited love for the other party. That can happen and i have experienced one in my life. I would like to find that again. But it does not mean I have lost control of myself. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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3/7/2021 2:49 pm |
Yes, loved what Dancing Dom wrote: " But to me, surrender means total trust and unlimited love for the other party." when you are in that space it is a joy.
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The good Dom guides so you do not get lost. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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I liked DD's answer very much. I have never once asked a sub to change themselves for me. I was attracted to her for exactly who she is. The sheer time and effort it takes to get to that level of trust and understanding only makes the surrender taste so much sweeter. I have certainly learned and changed as I have grown older. I value the right things now for the very best reasons. I have never feared a chance worth taking....But few here would ever move move 8,000 miles to be with a submissive they fell in love with. I mean as my friends said " Who the fuck just up and moves to Finland" I did and my reason was very simple. The way she looked at only me EVER.......The chances you take and the ones you do not, can change you. Only you will ever know if it was worth it.............. I will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth
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rayne I think it is like submission versus slave! The former retains the right to say "No" .... I agree with feel re you asking GREAT questions  A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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I agree with DD, as well. Total trust and unlimited love for the other party, without losing yourself in the process. The last that happened to me I was in a fifteen-year relationship with a Dominant. The lines were so blurry at the end, it was hard to see where surrender started and submission ended. Great piece (as always) Hope you are well. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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One of the best things about my last Domme was that we were friends through here and on the phone for years before she approached me about entering into a D/s relationship. She treated me like a human being. Imagine that. I never had to worry about changing or surrendering my personality because that's what she liked about me that led her to want to be with me. "In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act." ---George Orwell
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Agrees with feelmeglow
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