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Flipping the Switch *woundtotightrayne* |
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How do you do it? How do you go from strong, confident woman in charge, to strong, confident submissive? What flips your switch? Is it the placing of the collar? The order to disrobe? Something else? I can see how any, and all of those can work for a submissive already in a D/s relationship. What about those of us that are not however? I can only speak to my own experiences here, but I have a house, a job, a dog, and am the primary caregiver for an elderly parent. Somebody has got to make sure the trains are fucking running on time, and that someone happens to be me. I was talking to prospective Dominant, and he jokingly (I think) called me a Domme in training. I was aghast (not that there is anything wrong with that *L* ala Seinfeld) however I don’t swing that way. I was a little disturbed by his conclusion though. Another dear, dear friend put it to me thusly: “If he wanted to see the real you, he would arrange to meet, and when you did, he would fuck you like he hated you, and wanted you to suffer from over use sexually. Then you would slide back into that true submissive role and feel very comfortable there.” Can we pause here for a moment to let the church say “AMEN” The crux of the biscuit however, seems to be in getting from point A, to point B. I’m not going to roll over and show my stomach to any Tom, Dom, Dick or Harry, but maybe I need to “soften up?” in my approach? I know that a good Dom would be patient, and maybe see through the exterior shell, or maybe give me time to trust him enough to see that side of me. But in the meantime? Now let’s jump ahead to actual playtime meet. Again, how do you lay that burden of constant OCD “I need to control everything that is going on around me” down? Especially when it’s been a long time. I mean a looooooooong time. Sweet submission is what your soul craves. Your body cries out for it, literally and figuratively. You want it. You need it. But giving up control has become like a foreign language. Does anyone have a Rosetta Stone I could borrow?
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5/29/2021 3:22 pm |
If He is the right Dom for you He will work with your mind first, start the process of taking you from point A to point B without even touching you. He should be able to guide you, help you get past those fears of relinquishing control, until you are truly ready to serve Him. In the meantime, patience My lady, your time will come. My Words Are A way Into Your Mind...Be brave And let Me In.
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5/29/2021 4:05 pm |
You're looking for a chemistry that can't be found despite all your organizational skills, patience, strength an intelligence, If you're having trouble getting from point A to point B perhaps you should ask yourself how willing you are to give up point A to even make the journey to point B. I'm reminded of the story of the little boy who ask his grand father how he'd know the right girl to fall in love with and the grand father replied, it's just magic, and the boy said I don't believe in magic. The grand father replied you will when you see her . . Trust me rayne the right chemistry, is just magic.
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5/29/2021 4:31 pm |
You're the normal type of submissive that I'm used to. I'm accustomed to a woman being strong in business or in her personal life and totally submissive to me when we're together or interacting. As I see it you already have two great things going for you in my book. You have a dog and two you're taking care go one of your parents. Charactor means a lot to me. You don't need tTo change a thing in your life. You're batting a thousand. Stay just like you are. To me it makes no sense to be attracted to someone and then try to change them into something else unless you're really not attracted to them. I can see trying to do things to improve their life. Increasing their job skills or helping them get into shape, but not changing who they are inside.
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All of those things make you the perfect sub. The plates you juggle every day show the flexibility that is your forte. There is no magic switch and don't you dare soften up.
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 Slave rick
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rayne I can only say I hope you find what you want! This dichotomy between being in charge during the day but wanting to give control to another is so hard at times! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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I'm right there with you, Rayne. I run a house, have 2 cats, and a good job. I'm in charge of literally everything in my life. (Calgon take me away!) I have yet to encounter a man who will see "the crux of the biscuit", let alone take a bite. If you find one, and he has a brother, send him my way ."Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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It does seem like a foreign language sometimes or even most times. I am slowly losing my old ways and desires being with Sara, but that is because we match superbly, even though I still once in a while have those old tendencies. That is me, you are you. So keep believing and that lucky man will come along soon, rather than later.
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Who says a switch has to be flipped? Is there some rule about that? I believe that if there are two sides to the coin, they can exists together, and only the right stimuli will bring one or the other to the surface.
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Be well, rayne
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